How long did it take your baby to adjust to daycare?
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Anonymous
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My almost-6-month-old just started daycare for the first time and is not doing well... napping poorly (not that surprising, she's never been a great napper in the crib) and crying a lot (more surprising, she's a pretty happy baby for the most part, although she does have her fussy spells.)
Last week she went a couple mornings part-time, this is her first week full-time and things haven't really improved much so far. The provider (in-home daycare) says if things don't get better next week, she'll ask us to go elsewhere. How long did it take your baby to adjust to daycare? Was it a gradual improvement or did things suddenly get better? |
Anonymous
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It's completely ridiculous that your provider is already looking for an exit strategy. I would start looking elsewhere because that would be a red flag for me - babies and toddlers seek consistency and when that gets thrown for a loop, they need some time to adjust.
We started in a nanny share around that time with my first son and it was a few weeks before everyone felt comfortable. When we switched to a daycare setting at 20 months (TERRIBLE time developmentally to switch providers, btw, the adjustment period was much longer and more difficult.) We switched daycares again at 2.5 yo (due to a move) and transition was a breeze. (Fwiw, I am a full them WOH mom, so I really get it... And am in no way criticizing your decision to send your baby to daycare.) |
Anonymous
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We started at about 3.5 months and it was about a week to transition.
It would also be a red flag for me that the provider is looking for an exit strategy. Our provider could tell that we were nervous first-time parents, so she only told us months later that our little one had a hard time adjusting in those first few days. In the moment, she told us things like, "you have such a happy baby! You can tell she loves her parents so much!" She knew what to expect and didn't want us to worry unnecessarily. By the second week, dd was smiling at drop-off when she saw the care provider. |
Anonymous
This right here. Your in-home provider is demonstrating either lack of skill, lack of patience, or both. It can take a couple weeks. And going part-time might even delay the adjustment to the full day routine. |
Anonymous
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It can take a couple of weeks- even 3 for a child to get used to day care and strangers. Your care giver should know that.
However, if your baby really is crying non stop and can not be calmed then it's better for both parties to separate. She can't be a 1-1 care giver to your child. Do you carry your baby all the time at home? She probably can't. I'm not saying you- but I've known lots of moms who think their kids are 'happy' but in reality they are very, very fussy. |
Anonymous
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Personally, my baby took almost no time to adjust to daycare. She went a few days for a few hours each, and while she never napped very well in the infant room (improved tremendously when she moved to the toddler room, and it's not an uncommon issue), she became comfortable pretty quickly. The staff were both very capable and very affectionate with the babies.
That said, it is normal for some babies to take longer, and a provider who doesn't have any strategies or patience to deal with this is not qualified to care for babies in this setting. I watched the staff in our room do everything they could to soothe crying babies, and they were pretty good at it. |
Anonymous
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+1000 to the prior posters. Your in-home daycare should be more patient. The fact that she's not is a red flag.
Around 5-6 months my DS went through a nap regression and was cranky all the time because he was only napping for 30 minutes 2x a day. He's been at an in-home daycare since 4 months. From 4-6 months he generally was a fussy and refluxy guy, and he wasn't any easier at daycare or at home. |
Anonymous
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New daycare, stat.
It took my almost 6 month old about 3 weeks to adjust. Even now several months later he has his off days where sleeping in a crib with 5 other babies and multiple adults in and around just doesn't work out for him. |
Anonymous
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Wow! I can't believe that your provider is saying that it may not work out. Your child is 6 months old! It isn't that they aren't adjusting to daycare, a six month old is still adjusting to life.
I'd look into a center. I prefer them SO much for a long list of reasons but the main one for you is that they can't kick you out for a non reason like that. |
Anonymous
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a couple of weeks o fulltime care is pretty standard! even my easy-breezy go-with-the-flow second baby was wigged out for the first week or so. my, ahem, challenging first baby screamed her bloody head off at dropoff for the first month but was actually pretty well adjusted - other than drop-off - after the first two weeks.
I would have a conversation with your provider about what exactly is throwing her for a loop to make sure there isn't something actually out of the ordinary going on. if its just some lingering fussiness and having trouble napping, the provider is being unreasonable. and maybe doesn't have the skills or the resources to help baby adjust. |
Anonymous
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Have you been home with her this entire time? I can see a baby having trouble going from 24/7 1-on-1 care to having to share time with other kids. Plus if she requires a very specific environment for sleeping - i.e. silent, totally dark, etc., this is going to be a harder transition for her than for other kids.
My daughter adjusted right way, but it might have been because at 6 weeks, she was not really used to any one way of doing things yet. She was also one of those kids who could kind of nap anywhere. I hope things get better. Unfortunately in this area, it might not be so simple to find another provider overnight - many, especially the centers, have waiting lists. |
Anonymous
Excuse me. Who sleeps in a crib with five other babies? You're kidding, right? |
Anonymous
I assume (hope) PP means sleeping in a room with 5 other babies. |
Anonymous
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I have a very clingy, challenging DD and it took her about 6 weeks to adjust to daycare at 6 months... but our provider was wonderful about helping with the transition and was very reassuring that it was typical of some kids. It was really just a waiting game for us and in time DD started to love it there.
What is the kid to caregiver ratio? What worked in our case is that the daycare assigned one teacher to be dedicated to DD as much as possible so they could bond. Of course that teacher couldn't be with her 24/7 because there were other babies too, but she gave her lots of extra attention and the other teachers picked up some of the slack with the other kids. I know my DD does best with warm and nurturing personalities, so maybe she isn't getting that vibe from anyone? I think your DD needs to find one person to bond with there. I agree it's a red flag that your provider isn't being more proactive and accommodating. Maybe this is her way of telling you she can't handle your child? I would start to look elsewhere, it's just not the right fit for both parties most likely, and that happens. |
Anonymous
| a couple of weeks is easily within the range of normal - your provider's expectations seem out of whack. Our babies were pretty fast - one at 9 months and one at 4 months - however, there's one little girl that took at least 6 weeks before I ever saw her NOT crying at pick up and drop off times. However, yesterday (3 months in) she came over and danced with me when I was picking up my daughter...Every kid is a little different and transitions are hard for them. Even the big ones - my 3 year old just switched to a new classroom (full of kids she has known since 9 months) and still, you can see her nerves/anxiety peeking out from her otherwise brave facade...They are in such a state of learning...it's hard as a mom to feel like they are having a hard time. hang in there.. |