Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

Allow me to state a "sensitivity" that I think must be shared by 99% of well adjusted people: please don't think you're welcome to go and poop in someone else's master bathroom unless you've been specifically told that you're welcome to use it.

Sorry not sorry. If I have to poop or get the runs, I’m not using the powder room. I am going to use the most private bathroom available which is the master bath.

And if you enter my house I will be sure to padlock my master bedroom door. Sorry not sorry.

And this is it in a nutshell. People who have these problems have family or friends who are untrustworthy. Don't invite people over if you don't trust them.

But this is the issue, isn't it. Some posters (or one poster?) are claiming that we should expect to one day discover even otherwise 'trustworthy' people wandering through our private spaces and using bathrooms they've been asked not to use because it's oh so normal for people to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s actually startling what pretentious, snobby, outright nasty a-holes the “non snooping crowd” are. First of all just because someone wanders upstairs looking for a bathroom or a guest room to nurse in doesn’t mean they’re looking through your drawers. But really, substantive arguments aside, I don’t know if it’s one person maniacally posting over and over but you’re just an a-hole. You’re extremely rude and short sighted and can’t see any other side to a coin. Stop inviting people over. I’m sure this vitriol and rudeness bleeds over into your “real” life and most people would probably rather stay home than hang out at your precious palace anyway. You need a clue on just being a good person.

Aside from health issues (IBS poster) there's no reason someone looking for a bathroom or a place to nurse can't ask the host first. None.

And go ahead and ask Jeff if you must, but I really don't think there's only one (or two, or five) anti-wandering posters. Go ahead and ask Jeff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way to keep some of you people out of a host's master bedroom is to LOCK it. That is absolutely beyond crazy. How can you not see how out of line that is? You are making your host feel so uneasy that they have to LOCK you out of certain rooms because they can not trust you to stay out of them.

What an unpleasant person to have over....yikes.

And if the host is so uneasy they should find a better class of guests. I love my family and friends. They are welcome anywhere in my home.

I'm beginning to think this really is a class issue. It's clearly (to me) trashy as hell to think you can go into someone's bedroom or private bathroom without being invited to do so for any reason at all, let alone to do so with the intention of dirtying those areas with something like foul smelling diarrhea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

Allow me to state a "sensitivity" that I think must be shared by 99% of well adjusted people: please don't think you're welcome to go and poop in someone else's master bathroom unless you've been specifically told that you're welcome to use it.

Sorry not sorry. If I have to poop or get the runs, I’m not using the powder room. I am going to use the most private bathroom available which is the master bath.

And if you enter my house I will be sure to padlock my master bedroom door. Sorry not sorry.

It doesn’t sound like you’re very concerned with the comfort of your guests.

How so? I really don't get this. Most people are not saying you could NEVER use the master bath or go in rooms that are typically considered private - they are simply stating that you should ASK first.

[Anonymous]

I ask my guests to remove their shoes when they come to my place and most of them are annoyed ... why ?? My cat almost died from some disgusting bacteria someone brought home under the shoes (we never knew what it was but the vet mentioned it came from outside the house and since my cats don't go out ...).
My cats' health comes first and I'm sorry if you're annoyed at taking your shoes off. I even provide nice and clean slippers you can borrow when you come over!

[Anonymous]

A lot of people are oddly hyper-focused on diarrhea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please. It’s so obvious. The people who don’t want anyone upstairs are either horders or are just awful housekeepers. I know people just like that. They lock doors to avoid being embarrassed. If you go to someone’s house and they make a big deal about staying in one part of the house, or they have closed/locked doors, you can safely assume they are slobs. Behind the door you’ll find stacks of papers, mounds of laundry, and chaos.

I'm the poster who was recently invited to the home of a former university president and his wife. It was a social visit with the entire family for brunch, and I was their only guest. During the time I was there, I was offered a limited tour, and only stayed in the main parlor, dining room, and powder room after the tour.

Do you really think I was free to go upstairs? Do you really think I should have just wandered up to "check out the layout" or poop? Or do you know, without question, that doing any of that would have been absurd?

And if I had gone wandering and offended my hosts, who have a small staff and whose neighbors include Ivanka, that they would be offended because they are "either hoarders or just awful housekeepers."

Now ask yourself, and answer here: If you wouldn't feel free to go wandering about a posh row house in D.C., why WOULD you feel free to go wandering around, say, a modest Virginia SFH?

People who aren't inherently respectful, good guests have fear-based respect for people who are wealthier and more important than they are. They also like to show dominance over people they feel more powerful than or as powerful as.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

Allow me to state a "sensitivity" that I think must be shared by 99% of well adjusted people: please don't think you're welcome to go and poop in someone else's master bathroom unless you've been specifically told that you're welcome to use it.

Sorry not sorry. If I have to poop or get the runs, I’m not using the powder room. I am going to use the most private bathroom available which is the master bath.

And if you enter my house I will be sure to padlock my master bedroom door. Sorry not sorry.

It doesn’t sound like you’re very concerned with the comfort of your guests.

NP. If you provide a bathroom and an area to sit comfortably, you're provided enough to host people in your home. Period. Nothing else is required.

As it says in the Sesame Street toilet training book, "Before we leave the house, we sit on the potty." Take care of your business, then enjoy your visit.

I have IBS. Diarrhea can strike at any time. Literally any time. Thanks for telling me I should have taken care of that at home (impossible), and enjoy the cacophony coming out of my a$$ along with the oh so pleasant aroma. I hope when I open the door the stench hits you like a ton of bricks. Enjoy!

As has been stated multiple times on multiple pages of this thread, ***exceptions include health issues.***

And you certainly have...issues. Enjoy, yourself!

Even in the case of health issues, someone can use the guest bath provided and ask before entering someone's bedroom.

Honestly, if someone's health issues mean that they're in regular danger of soiling themselves and/or furniture and carpets if they need to wait 2 minutes to use the guest bathroom(s) that are in use by someone else, then I'd seriously rather they just decline the invitation. Or say that you have some health issues involving the bathroom and suggest that we meet in a restaurant or other public area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are oddly hyper-focused on diarrhea.

It's because it's the only actual 'reason' that someone has given for suggesting that they have a right to wander through the house and/or use facilities when they've not been invited to do so.

The other suggestions of "wanting to check out the layout" or "being curious" or "making a call" don't even deserve a response.

[Anonymous]

wtf has been said in 37 pages on this topic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

Allow me to state a "sensitivity" that I think must be shared by 99% of well adjusted people: please don't think you're welcome to go and poop in someone else's master bathroom unless you've been specifically told that you're welcome to use it.

Sorry not sorry. If I have to poop or get the runs, I’m not using the powder room. I am going to use the most private bathroom available which is the master bath.

And if you enter my house I will be sure to padlock my master bedroom door. Sorry not sorry.

It doesn’t sound like you’re very concerned with the comfort of your guests.

NP. If you provide a bathroom and an area to sit comfortably, you're provided enough to host people in your home. Period. Nothing else is required.

As it says in the Sesame Street toilet training book, "Before we leave the house, we sit on the potty." Take care of your business, then enjoy your visit.

I have IBS. Diarrhea can strike at any time. Literally any time. Thanks for telling me I should have taken care of that at home (impossible), and enjoy the cacophony coming out of my a$$ along with the oh so pleasant aroma. I hope when I open the door the stench hits you like a ton of bricks. Enjoy!

Carry a book of matches in your purse and light a few right before you leave the bathroom. Stink problem solved.

Run the fan while you are making your cacophony. Noise problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way to keep some of you people out of a host's master bedroom is to LOCK it. That is absolutely beyond crazy. How can you not see how out of line that is? You are making your host feel so uneasy that they have to LOCK you out of certain rooms because they can not trust you to stay out of them.

What an unpleasant person to have over....yikes.

And if the host is so uneasy they should find a better class of guests. I love my family and friends. They are welcome anywhere in my home.

I'm beginning to think this really is a class issue. It's clearly (to me) trashy as hell to think you can go into someone's bedroom or private bathroom without being invited to do so for any reason at all, let alone to do so with the intention of dirtying those areas with something like foul smelling diarrhea.

NP here. I am beginning to agree with you too. I think it is a class thing (low class) to expect you can go into anyone's bedroom or private bathroom without being invited to do so for any reason at all, let alone to do so with the intention of dirtying those areas with something like foul smelling diarrhea.

If anything else, when you emerge from this private bathroom and come back downstairs, it is like waving a red flag over your head that says, "I JUST POOPED!"

Do you think this is PRIVATE? If you just did your business surrepticiously in the powder room or bathroom provided, and took simple steps to absorb the smell and noise, none would be the wiser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

Allow me to state a "sensitivity" that I think must be shared by 99% of well adjusted people: please don't think you're welcome to go and poop in someone else's master bathroom unless you've been specifically told that you're welcome to use it.

Sorry not sorry. If I have to poop or get the runs, I’m not using the powder room. I am going to use the most private bathroom available which is the master bath.

And if you enter my house I will be sure to padlock my master bedroom door. Sorry not sorry.

It doesn’t sound like you’re very concerned with the comfort of your guests.

NP. If you provide a bathroom and an area to sit comfortably, you're provided enough to host people in your home. Period. Nothing else is required.

As it says in the Sesame Street toilet training book, "Before we leave the house, we sit on the potty." Take care of your business, then enjoy your visit.

I have IBS. Diarrhea can strike at any time. Literally any time. Thanks for telling me I should have taken care of that at home (impossible), and enjoy the cacophony coming out of my a$$ along with the oh so pleasant aroma. I hope when I open the door the stench hits you like a ton of bricks. Enjoy!

As has been stated multiple times on multiple pages of this thread, ***exceptions include health issues.***

And you certainly have...issues. Enjoy, yourself!

Even in the case of health issues, someone can use the guest bath provided and ask before entering someone's bedroom.

Honestly, if someone's health issues mean that they're in regular danger of soiling themselves and/or furniture and carpets if they need to wait 2 minutes to use the guest bathroom(s) that are in use by someone else, then I'd seriously rather they just decline the invitation. Or say that you have some health issues involving the bathroom and suggest that we meet in a restaurant or other public area.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wtf has been said in 37 pages on this topic?

Mostly thinly veiled insults. Now in true DCUM fashion they’re turning it into a class thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf has been said in 37 pages on this topic?

Mostly thinly veiled insults. Now in true DCUM fashion they’re turning it into a class thing.

Also, I actually asked Jeff to just lock the thread because it’s going nowhere and the same arguments are being regurgitated over and over and just turning demeaning. But apparently he feels there is great value to all of these responses so here we are.