Am I a huge jerk if I don't save for college for my kid?

[Anonymous]

I just turned 40 and am looking to downsize our life and get out of the rat race with DH. We can put away about 50 percent of DS's need at a public university if we don't go full throttle on our careers. Does this make me a huge jerk?

[Anonymous]

I don't think so. My parents paid for 1/2 of my higher education costs, and I was grateful.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't make you a jerk but when they are applying you have to tell them how much money there is and try to steer them away from getting crippling loans etc. just set the expectations from the beginning instead of saying "you can go anywhere you want".

[Anonymous]

I think you are a jerk if you don't save and spend it on expensive things for yourself like luxury items.

[Anonymous]

Nah, just vote for Bernie, then you won’t need it.

[Anonymous]

No, my parents didn't pay anything for my college. However, if you are buying fancy cars and going on lavish vacations and spending on the newest clothes, then I think that it would be quite selfish.

[Anonymous]

If you blow it on luxury items, fancy vacations, and flash cars, your child (and many others) will think you are a huge jerk when you tell the child there is nothing left for college. Incidentally, my parents did something like this and I had a very difficult time qualifying for financial aid (because my dad made so much). Your child's Financial Aid office will take into account your own financial situation when calculating need-based aid, and they won't consider your decision to buy luxuries a valid reason to award more aid to your child.

If you don't save because you are truly struggling, and you need the money for food/shelter/necessities, you are not a huge jerk.

[Anonymous]

Also depends on what kind of parent you are.
If you just decide to slow down now at the ripe age of 40 and perhaps 10 years from now, your child ends up being a really focused, gracious, and promising student who gets accepted at a spectacular school with great opportunities but no scholarship, and you say, well junior, we can only afford half of your college. Junior, you'll have to take a loan and good luck getting out of college with debt, and oh, by the way, there is no space in our downsized house for you to move back into while you are paying all those loans back.

Or, 10 years from now, you decide, wow, I am going to have to work double time now that I'm age 50 because I don't want my kid to be in debt when he gets out of college.

No one here can really tell you if you are a huge jerk or not. It all depends on how you will approach future scenarios.

If your kid turns out to be no-good, scum sucking, and entitled, you won't feel so much like a jerk for going full throttle in your 40s.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah, just vote for Bernie, then you won’t need it.

So funny!

[Anonymous]

If your income level means the only way they will be able to get any aid is merit-then, yes. Or tell them the plan from the beginning is to g to community college for two years and then transfer to a four year in stae college after that to minimize the loans they would have to incur. Who paid for your college education?

[Anonymous]

No. My parents helped a little, but mostly I paid for college with loans. No regrets. My parents had modest salaries, paid the bills, and we went on vacation once a year. Had an amazing childhood and a great relationship with my parents. Not mad that they didn't save for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My parents helped a little, but mostly I paid for college with loans. No regrets. My parents had modest salaries, paid the bills, and we went on vacation once a year. Had an amazing childhood and a great relationship with my parents. Not mad that they didn't save for me.

The difference between us is that your parents made "modest salaries", so you had no problem qualifying for financial aid. My parents made a so much that it was very difficult to find a way to get loans. Financial aid is income-sensitive. OP, please consider this.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for a third, scholarships for a third, and I worked and paid the final third (for undergrad). I paid full freight for grad. This worked out - probably made me appreciate my college education a bit more, and not party it away. The only thing was that where I went plenty of folks were 100%+ financed by mom and dad, and that made me feel a bit on the poor side at times (as a lowly work-study).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think so. My parents paid for 1/2 of my higher education costs, and I was grateful.

+1000