My sister-in-law and her three dogs: what should I do?

[Anonymous]

So, okay, I'm having some serious issues with my sister-in-law and her three dogs.

My SIL has recently moved back into the family home. She's a thirty-something attorney, she's engaged to a web programmer (who also lives with us, but he's no problem), and they have these three, hyperactive dogs. They're living back in the family home to save up for some extravagant, Russian Orthodox wedding or something - but that's beside the point. The problem is the dogs.

They want to be on us all the time. They're licking me; they're licking the baby; they're licking everyone's toes - they're nuts. They're dry humping the furniture; I can't sit down without them assaulting my legs. And then - when she gets home from work and I confront her about the dogs - she's just all "I understand - you're not a dog person. Give them time." AND LET'S THEM LICK HER FACE.

They sleep in bed with her (they take up the whole bed; her fiancé has to sleep on a fold-out bed on the floor in her room); they smell; they shed everywhere.

I don't know what to do. Where do I start? Do I talk to my mother-in-law? Do I talk to her fiancé? What?

[Anonymous]

Is it your house?

[Anonymous]

Why are you living in the family home? Does that mean your in-laws house, not yours? If so, time to move out.

[Anonymous]

Forget the dogs, how many people live in the darn house?

[Anonymous]

Perhaps you should live in your own home or apartment?

[Anonymous]

If you don't like the dogs being near you, poke them. Hard. That's dog speak.

Who cares if they sleep in her bed? Not your problem.

And move.

[Anonymous]

"Forget" to leave the back door open when nobody's home. Lure the dogs away from the property with a trail of table scraps. Feign ignorance; never look back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you living in the family home? Does that mean your in-laws house, not yours? If so, time to move out.

If it's not your house, you have no say in who lives there.

If it's not your face, you have no say in who licks it.

If it's not your bed, you have no say in who sleeps in it.

You're right that you "have some serious issues," but your sister-in-law and her dogs don't make the list.

[Anonymous]

You can start by minding your own business. Their sleeping arrangements are none of your business.

Second, you say "the family home"-- what does that mean? Who actually owns the home? It sounds like it's your inlaws' home, and they are letting you live there, and letting her and the dogs live there too. Their home, their choice. Move out if you don't like it. If you own the home or live there for a specific reason (like to care for your ILs, that's different.)

It sounds like she has no idea how to control her dogs. Sit her down again and try to make a plan to train the dogs to stay away from the baby. Every time the dogs get on you or the baby, politely but firmly bring it to her attention. "Jenny, please control your dogs." Over and over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you living in the family home? Does that mean your in-laws house, not yours? If so, time to move out.

If it's not your house, you have no say in who lives there.

If it's not your face, you have no say in who licks it.

If it's not your bed, you have no say in who sleeps in it.

You're right that you "have some serious issues," but your sister-in-law and her dogs don't make the list.

+1

[Anonymous]

I you don't like it, and I know I wouldn't, then you need to find other housing. If you and your SIL are living with her parents, then she's always going to come first and there's nothing you can do about it.

[Anonymous]

This is the SIL and her fiancee. So you are living in your in-laws house?

Yeah sorry, you get no vote. The only thing you can ask is for the dogs to not lick you or your baby. When the SIL is away and leaves you to deal with the dogs, put them in a crate with water.

[Anonymous]

I understand you're not living in your own home.

I would invoke the baby's health, not allow them in the baby's bedroom, and start disciplining the dogs. Read up on dog behavior. They are calmer when exercised, and need to really run for a few miles, not just pee in the yard. Say NO! and DOWN! when they reach up to you or the baby. Block them from the baby with your elbow or your body. Dogs are very sensitive to social levels - if they perceive you to be a leader, and you make it clear that the baby is protected by you, they will lay off.

[Anonymous]

It's up to your MIL whether having the dogs in the house is okay. It's up to your BIL whether having the dogs in the bed is okay.

It's up to you if the dogs licking, and humping you & the baby are okay. If you're not okay with it, you can kindly request that some doggie gates go up while the baby is visiting. If you don't get a friendly reply, then offer to meet up with the ILs at other locations but put a hold on spending time at the ILs house until the dogs are out of the house.

I get it, OP. I do. My entire side of the family loves animals and has as many pets as there are people in the house. I'm not a dog, or a pet, person. My parents' dog, who is generally sweet, scratched my daughter in the face. Doggie gates are up when we visit. The dog is accompanied by one of my parents or siblings at all times. I carry my daughter the first 20 minutes when the dogs are allowed into common areas - making sure everyone has settled down before the dogs can even come up to sniff her. If my parents weren't accommodating of my requests, we'd stay at a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Why the hell do you all live in the same house? That is so weird. Can you not afford your own house? You have no right to complain - your SIL is your MIL's child. She has more "right" to be there than you do. Not that any normal grown-up should live in their parent's or in-law's home. You are both losers but at least she isn't complaining.