Career vs daycare pick up

[Anonymous]

WOHP how do you navigate/negotiate daycare pick up when you start a new job? My last role was very flexible so I could get the kid comfortably before 530 pick up time. I'm starting a new, faster pace job. I'm excited career wise but dreading the conversation on the first day of "BTW I need to bolt at 5 to get kid". I'm in a new industry which is less family friendly so I'll be the odd mom out not going to happy hours (unless I can have my 9 mo old strapped to my chest in her carrier at the bar...seems like a bad idea).

How would you approach it? I want to seem professional and a go getter, but I still have family responsibilities.

I'm unfortunately the default parent as I have the shorter commute. Also, locked into a contract for daycare for a few months, luckily, it's only 2 miles from new job.

[Anonymous]

You can't negotiate this situation. You need different childcare arrangements.

[Anonymous]

Get a babysitter to pick up the kid and watch it for a couple hours.

[Anonymous]

stagger work hours with your DH so the baby is dropped off at 9:30 and you pick up at 6. 5 really is early to leave a lot of offices. or get a nanny.

[Anonymous]

the idea that you can 'have it all' is a myth. Pick your priorities. (signed WOH mom.)

[Anonymous]

You negotiate it after you have received an offer, but prior to accepting it. But, be prepared that it might not work out very well long term even if you are officially allowed to do that. If everyone else is working well past 5 and there are meetings etc. at that time, it could be difficult to navigate.

[Anonymous]

We have a nanny. Soooooo much less stress.

[Anonymous]

You need alternative child are arrangements. I tried the "I have to leave at 5" thing. It just causes undue stress for you and your employer.

[Anonymous]

You need to figure out something with your spouse. Had you not had this discussion before taking the new job, i.e. who will do daycare pick ups?

You should do drop offs and he does pick ups.

Hard to do the "leave at 5" when you are a new employee and it's not the culture of the organization. I do it now, but I've been here 9 years and still stay available on email and work at night.

[Anonymous]

I do drop offs and pick ups since I'm a single dad. My kids are in daycare right by my office, so I usually walk in the door right before 8 and leave at 5:15 sharp. I am a fairly senior level person at my company and people understand my situation (widower whose wife passed away while working here), which is a reason why this flexibility works. I have my calendar blocked in red from 5-8 so no meetings can take place. I open it up at 8 and sometimes take calls (usually with the West Coast office). I also let my direct reports do the same thing. We all have kids and I think it's the fair thing to do. Unless there's a crisis (in which case I still get the kids but park them in a corner in my office with I-pads until the emergency is dealt with). The downside is of course that I work for a few hours right before the kids go to bed. But I am thankful that the schedule lets me get by without having to pay a nanny to pick the kids up and make them dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do drop offs and pick ups since I'm a single dad. My kids are in daycare right by my office, so I usually walk in the door right before 8 and leave at 5:15 sharp. I am a fairly senior level person at my company and people understand my situation (widower whose wife passed away while working here), which is a reason why this flexibility works. I have my calendar blocked in red from 5-8 so no meetings can take place. I open it up at 8 and sometimes take calls (usually with the West Coast office). I also let my direct reports do the same thing. We all have kids and I think it's the fair thing to do. Unless there's a crisis (in which case I still get the kids but park them in a corner in my office with I-pads until the emergency is dealt with). The downside is of course that I work for a few hours right before the kids go to bed. But I am thankful that the schedule lets me get by without having to pay a nanny to pick the kids up and make them dinner.

You sound like a very nice boss and father. Sorry about your wife.

[Anonymous]

I have a similar situation. I am expecting a job offer soon and the commute is worse. I would need to leave at 4:45 to get to school in time (aftercare pickup). I will discuss it after I get the offer but before I commit. It's hard. It might not work.

My husband has only been in his job for a year and typically does dropoff. He has a hard time leaving at 5:30, as his boss is still there.

I really am not satisfied with my current job and I've been looking a long time. So it's tough.

[Anonymous]

Something has to give; there is no magical solution. Either DH figures out how to pick them up, or you do (despite possible or certain career consequences).

Yes, it sucks, but it's the reality for now.

[Anonymous]

I would give notice at your current daycare, and find one with a 6:30 pickup. Explain to your new boss the "early" departure will be less early after 2 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the idea that you can 'have it all' is a myth. Pick your priorities. (signed WOH mom.)

Yup, pretty much. Somethings got to give. If you don't want to change your daycare arrangements, you or your husband needs to be available for pick up. Otherwise you need to look at options like a nanny, a daycare that is open later, or some kind of baby sitter to bridge the gap.

If it were me, I would go into the job and immediately set the expectation that I will need to leave at 5, no exceptions. I would do this with the full understanding that it will likely harm my career, at least temporarily. However, I work in a job that is fairly easy to ramp up and down, so there is always another job somewhere down the road.