Arranging a Play Date – Don’t Know the Parents

[Anonymous]

My daughter is in 2nd grade and would like to have a play date with one of her classmates. I don’t know the other girl’s parents and have never met them at any school functions. My daughter got the girl’s phone number and wants me to call the mom. I feel a bit awkward about it. Would you think it was strange if some woman you didn’t know called you out of the blue to request a play date? Also, where do we go to meet? Possibly the public library? It’s too cold out to suggest the park, and since we don’t know each other I think someone’s home isn’t a good choice.

[Anonymous]

I think you should invite them to your home. Invite the mom to stay for the first playdate.

[Anonymous]

I think you should write a note and ask your daughter to give it to the other daughter. The note should include your email address (no one likes phone calls!) and a suggestion for a public place or someone's house (if you are comfortable with that).

[Anonymous]

You should call- it's not strange at all. Invite her to stay for coffee or tea while the kids play.

[Anonymous]

No, I would not think it was strange. I would just ask to stay for the beginning of the play date.

[Anonymous]

I like the note idea.

I wouldn’t mind doing it at my house but we have a large dog and a cat. I’d want to have a backup plan if for some reason they don’t want to be around the animals. Allergies or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should invite them to your home. Invite the mom to stay for the first playdate.

I would do this, but also include an option for public place in phrasing.

Hi,

Susie would really like to play with Jane outside of school sometime. If Jane is interested, Susie is welcome to come to our house. Please feel free to stay or drop off, whatever makes you all feel comfortable. Another option might be for us all to meet at Park Cowabunga.

Please let me know if Jane is interested and then we can find a day/time that works for everyone.

Pollyanna Smith (Susie's mom)
123-345-8787 cell
[e-mail]

[Anonymous]

At 7 I would be ok with a drop off playdate, I may want to come in for a couple of mins but then I would leave DD with you unless I saw something awful in that couple of mins.

[Anonymous]

No, it wouldn't be strange. The other girl has probably talked to her mom about your daughter, if they are friends.

A few months ago i had a similar situation, and wrote a note to the girl's mom asking for a playdate. My daughter passed it along to her friend. It had my number and the mom called me a few days later. Play date was at my house. Mom stayed for a few minutes to "check us out." lol.

[Anonymous]

You should have a class email list - you should email her if you don't feel comfortable calling and ask them both over.

I have to do this all the time, its fine, everyone is pretty cool about it.

[Anonymous]

No one likes phone calls? What??

[Anonymous]

Not strange at all. Call and say, "Lara asked to play with Larla. Please let us know if she or you both are available and when."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one likes phone calls? What??

True. Hardly anyone talks on the phone anymore. Email or text.

[Anonymous]

I've done it. Not weird. Another option is to have your child call & ask to speak to her friend, then your child invites friend over and then each child puts the parent on the phone to work out the plans.

[Anonymous]

Just call up the mom. No big deal. Say "Hi, this is Lisa. Apparently my daughter Larla is friends with your daughter Jarla and would like to have a playdate with her. Would you and Jarla like to come over one day after school next week? We have a well-trained dog but no guns in the house."