Etiquette for DIL/SIL standing in greeting line at funeral, weddings, etc?

[Anonymous]

Do you have DIL or SILs stand with your family in the greeting lines at functions? DHs grandfather passed away recently and the minister put us in order for a greeting line for mourners. I heard my MIL tell FIL to "get me out of the line." He immediately stood in front of me to block me and skipped introducing me to those coming in. I snuck around him and stepped outside into a common area until everyone had given there condolences to dhs family. I haven't said anything to anyone including DH because of the passing but oh my gosh. I have never been treated so poorly. My feelings are completely hurt even though I have tried to ignore in-laws bs for so many years. It was very embarrassing. At least 3 other visitors saw it because they approached me later and asked if we were seperated. I didn't force my way in the line, the minister put us all there. Just needed to vent and also check the normal procedure. Should I have not even been standing there?

[Anonymous]

Wow. Your in laws were WAY out of line, regardless of tradition.

[Anonymous]

I think it is very family specific based on relationships as well as how many family members there are.

Were there other in-laws in line and you were singled out?

Did you have a relationship with the grandfather?

[Anonymous]

We've never had greeting lines.

[Anonymous]

We'd always include spouses, especially at wakes and such, for support. Sorry, OP, your ILs are awful. Didn't your DH want you by his side?

[Anonymous]

I think either would be fine and normal. It sounds like the ILs have issues anyway. Weird people can get even weirder when they're grieving. Try to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Never had a line for funerals. It's always just been spouse of the deceased. And for weddings it was just our parents and us.

Your mil is a bitch though. At least you know it now

[Anonymous]

You weren't wrong, it's appropriate for spouses to be there. (Although I don't think it's mandatory.)

Definitely, you were not wrong to be there when specifically instructed by the minister! How were you to know that wasn't what your ILs wanted?

[Anonymous]

If it happens at a wedding, baptism or happy occasion, I'd say something like, "Barbara, I thought it was tradition for a wife to stand next to her husband at a family function to greet guests. Is there a finer point of etiquette at play here that I don't know about?"

You did the right thing to step out gracefully at a funeral. Good for you for taking the higher road. You were right, she was horribly wrong, but that was not the time or the place to bring it up. Keep on the high road and you'll be fine!

[Anonymous]

That is so weird. I'm sorry, OP.

Probably not worth dwelling on. You know who your inlaws are. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Totally out of line of your ILs, but good on you for just exiting quietly. I cannot imagine not having my H next to me I a funeral receiving line. I've stood by him twice with his grandmothers, if for nothing but moral support. When my uncle passed last year, my aunt had everyone including his nieces (me and a niece from my aunt's side of the family) and husbands of nieces stand in line. So the line went, my aunt, my 2 cousins and their husbands, my mom and dad, my aunt's brother and his wife, then the two nieces and our husbands.

[Anonymous]

Etiquette requires that spouses should be included in the line, which is why they are always so darn long and obnoxious to get through.

You have a legitimate beef with your ILs and your husband should take it up with them.

Next time, stand your ground - it will be for FIL or MIL anyway!

[Anonymous]

Was your FIL in the line ? I'm assuming it was your MIL's dad who passed away. In any event, you handled it very well and showed that you have better manners than they do. Curious if your dh wondered where you were...

[Anonymous]

The point of the line is to give condolences or congratulations. I would find it odd to give you condolences on the death or your DHs grandfather. If I was at the funeral I probably knew him better than you did. Immediate family seems much more appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point of the line is to give condolences or congratulations. I would find it odd to give you condolences on the death or your DHs grandfather. If I was at the funeral I probably knew him better than you did. Immediate family seems much more appropriate.

NP
MY DH 'a grandmother got us together .
We were close, I guess I should have not been at the funeral??
What stupid "rules "