Male run family daycare

[Anonymous]

We're considering a larger family daycare that is owned by a man. There are two other teachers (both female). I have no reason to be suspicious per se- they are all very nice, it's a nice, open space, clean, and the kids all seemed happy. We have a friend who takes her kids there now and another who used to- they have nothing but good things to say.

I just haven't come across a situation like this before, and my mom was alarmed and suspicious at the thought of a male provider, which got me thinking that perhaps I was being naive?

[Anonymous]

I am suspicious of every day care. You never know who might be around your kids - especially at family day cares there could be cousins, neighbors, etc dropping by. I would check everything and everyone out. As for the gender of the owner- you are being sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am suspicious of every day care. You never know who might be around your kids - especially at family day cares there could be cousins, neighbors, etc dropping by. I would check everything and everyone out. As for the gender of the owner- you are being sexist.

You should at least know what you're talking about before spouting off. Anyone who comes in contact with your children at a family daycare must have passed a background check and been fingerprinted. Cousins, neighbors, friends, etc. cannot simply drop by and be in contact with your kids. And yes OP to judge him as suspicious purely by virtue of being man is wrong. You have mutliple reference who had nothing but good things to say about him, and he has two assistants with him all day. Shouldn't these facts carry more weight than your mother's prejudiced fears?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're considering a larger family daycare that is owned by a man. There are two other teachers (both female). I have no reason to be suspicious per se- they are all very nice, it's a nice, open space, clean, and the kids all seemed happy. We have a friend who takes her kids there now and another who used to- they have nothing but good things to say.

I just haven't come across a situation like this before, and my mom was alarmed and suspicious at the thought of a male provider, which got me thinking that perhaps I was being naive?

Don't perpetuate your mother's biases. Your initial reaction is correct, it may be unusual, but it's no reason to be suspicious. Can you imagine what your post would sound like in terms of race??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am suspicious of every day care. You never know who might be around your kids - especially at family day cares there could be cousins, neighbors, etc dropping by. I would check everything and everyone out. As for the gender of the owner- you are being sexist.

You should at least know what you're talking about before spouting off. Anyone who comes in contact with your children at a family daycare must have passed a background check and been fingerprinted. Cousins, neighbors, friends, etc. cannot simply drop by and be in contact with your kids. And yes OP to judge him as suspicious purely by virtue of being man is wrong. You have mutliple reference who had nothing but good things to say about him, and he has two assistants with him all day. Shouldn't these facts carry more weight than your mother's prejudiced fears?

Well, yes and no.

You see it's not quite as thorough or complex as you might want to believe.

Generally, they will background check and fingerprint any one who the provider documents living in the house at the time of application. This is the only time the check is run. They don't recheck each year or even after the license is granted. Of course, if the provider has someone new move in, they are supposed to get the checks run.

Depth of background checks and fingerprint checks matter. You need to check the guidelines for wherever the daycare is situated - do they run local, state or national level checks? This applies to both background checks as well as fingerprint checks.

In terms of who can come over during the day, pretty much anyone can. It's still the provider's private residence, and they are allowed to have visitors. Is that best practice? No, but thinking it can't or won't happen isn't realistic. It's also possible that in a pinch the provider will get someone else to cover for them. Consider if the provider has to run an errand mid day or go to a doctor's appt. You would be amazed how many providers will think nothing of getting a family member or friend to watch the kids for a few hours.
You can find information like this out when interviewing providers. Ask open ended questions and see how they respond. Ask what they have done in the past in various scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're considering a larger family daycare that is owned by a man. There are two other teachers (both female). I have no reason to be suspicious per se- they are all very nice, it's a nice, open space, clean, and the kids all seemed happy. We have a friend who takes her kids there now and another who used to- they have nothing but good things to say.

I just haven't come across a situation like this before, and my mom was alarmed and suspicious at the thought of a male provider, which got me thinking that perhaps I was being naive?

I'm sorry: What's alarming about a male provider? Is your mother's mental faculties diminishing or something? To quote OMC: How bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Oh and I think the Op is correct in the assertion that having a male head the daycare is strange and very out of the ordinary. I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. I can think of 2 cases in Fairfax County over the past couple of years that received mention in the press that involved male relatives in home daycare situations abusing children. I can think of several others that were not in the press but were available via the state daycare licensing website that detailed issues with abuse by male relatives in the home.

[Anonymous]

I don't know of many men who want to be around young kids other than their own.

[Anonymous]

When my grandson went to daycare, I was given a code to log in at the center and I could watch him all day. After that, I don't think I would leave my kids or grandkids at any daycare unless I could watch them remotely. It was fantastic.

There were men there but limited to cleaning, maintenance, playground. They were family but did not do hands on with the kids. Very nice and caring.

[Anonymous]

Just because it is not common, doesn't mean it's bad. If you like it, go for it.

The daycare we use has an office manager who is male. And he is often playing with the kids and is as nice as can be.

I also have a coworker now who used to work in a daycare. He's also great.

Ignore your mom.

[Anonymous]

One of my 4 year olds daycare teachers is male. There are 2 other male teachers at th school. FWIW all are in the older classes - none w babies or toddlers. Wouldn't bother me a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're considering a larger family daycare that is owned by a man. There are two other teachers (both female). I have no reason to be suspicious per se- they are all very nice, it's a nice, open space, clean, and the kids all seemed happy. We have a friend who takes her kids there now and another who used to- they have nothing but good things to say.

I just haven't come across a situation like this before, and my mom was alarmed and suspicious at the thought of a male provider, which got me thinking that perhaps I was being naive?

I'm sorry: What's alarming about a male provider? Is your mother's mental faculties diminishing or something? To quote OMC: How bizarre.

Everytime I look around,
It's in my face!

[Anonymous]

I have sent all 3 of my children to an in-home daycare run by a husband and wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know of many men who want to be around young kids other than their own.

This. I have been a preschool teacher for many years, and only once have I met a male preschool teacher; they are RARE. This man worked in a preschool; I would probably be okay with that, but not with an at-home daycare provider who was a man.

This is not to say that any man who cares for young children is a pedophile -- it is just a situation that I would not be comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know of many men who want to be around young kids other than their own.

This. I have been a preschool teacher for many years, and only once have I met a male preschool teacher; they are RARE. This man worked in a preschool; I would probably be okay with that, but not with an at-home daycare provider who was a man.

This is not to say that any man who cares for young children is a pedophile -- it is just a situation that I would not be comfortable with.

We used a home daycare for awhile that was owned by a man. He had a at least 3 women working too, but some days he would work with the kids. He was nice and the kids loved him. I think he was more of a business guy who fell into childcare, but it worked for him and his family. I thought it was different, but I never worried. I think that sort of concerned is old fashioned.