Worried about H because of his imminent heart attack -- he keeps telling me that I am the problem
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| If you care about your DD's dad not dying, then I'd say try to help as best you can. Don't divorce so you can still get his money/help when he is gone. |
Anonymous
| He could move in with a stripper tomorrow and give her everything in your bank account. Or he could quit his job to spite you. If he’s looking for a 35 year old second wife to knock up he will easily find one and start a new family soon. You need to get a good attorney, get the assets divided up stat, and stop counting on him to provide for you. He has moved on it’s very unhealthy that you are modeling for your daughter that you are either too greedy or too co dependent to do so yourself. |
Anonymous
| You are a terrible role model for your daughter. Please get some help before you completely mess her up. |
Anonymous
That's all well and good, but the marriage is basically over. You get that, right? I really don't understand how you are so hurt by him blowing you off when he doesn't want to live in the same house and he tried to start an affair. He no longer wants to be married. Does he have life insurance? And what will your financial picture look like if he passes or divorces you? Because that's how you need to be thinking here. |
Anonymous
|
Hope college is funded for that 14 year old… |
Anonymous
| You two are so codependent it’s sickening to read. Stop strangling care for him. He doesn’t have imminent heart failure. It’s his life. Let him live it! |
Anonymous
|
You need a lawyer. You also need to consider whether his symptoms are real at all or a way to keep you on a leash.
Ultimately it doesn't really matter. You can't make a grown man go to the hospital or care. You can't be responsible for him like that, your marriage is over. |
Anonymous
What? This is about money? You sound like a gold digger. |
Anonymous
| What are his symptoms? Maybe from a medical standpoint I can try to calm some of your anxiety and help you loosen the control. |
Anonymous
| Get a lawyer and build life insurance for DD into the divorce agreement. |
Anonymous
|
Op won't answer if she is a troll or the same poster that claimed her husband wanted to mentor some student to have an affair and be his daughter's tutor.
But she will answer re life insurance. That poor daughter. OP and her DH are awful. |
Anonymous
|
Calling the neighbors to check on him is abusive and controlling behavior.
I had a friend whose xH did this after he separated - had their neighbors check on her and report back. He was also physically, verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive towards her. You need to back off. It sucks he left, but what you are doing is not okay. |
Anonymous
|
"Does he not have life insurance?
OP here. Sadly, no. His term life insurance ended a few years ago, and a new one would have been very expensive." OP, please get a life insurance policy on him ASAP. Do NOT divorce without a policy in place. You are not allowed to buy a policy on someone's life if you're no longer married (except in a few odd situations) so it's imperative that you get this set up before divorcing. Plus, it sounds like his health warrants this. If you work, it's likely that you can insure him through your employer without a medical exam for at least $100K. But no matter what it costs, you need to get him insured if your daughter is dependent on his income to maintain her current lifestyle. |
Anonymous
|
Given his behavior, it sounds like setting up a settlement agreement that includes life insurance with your daughter as the beneficiary and you as the guardian till she's 25 makes the most sense. If you don't work, you'll get significant alimony and you can get an insurance plan that covers you in the event that he dies before making all of his alimony and child support payments described in the agreement. In the context of a settlement agreement, you'll have the leverage to demand that he answer the questions for the life insurance policy application and that he makes the payments on the policy. Be sure to have YOU be the owner of the policy though. That way you will be aware if he skips a payment or tries to close the policy before the specified time. If he scoffs at this, your lawyer will be able to show him that a judge will order this pretty much by default, which should make him agree if he's not a total idiot.
|
Anonymous
|
You two have an unhealthy dynamic between you, and I suggest you start therapy to figure out why you can’t let go of the wife/mother role you are still playing in your EX-husband’s life. You might also have anxiety.
He is an adult, and is responsible for seeking his own health care. You two are not modeling anything good for your sons or your daughters. |