Who / what us truly to blame for the challenges of modern dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much divorce - not enough men completing college - the two phenomena are linked

There is not "too much divorce"

Women only got the right to initiate divorce in the 1970s in most states. Now they don't have to stay in abusive marriages.

Many women divorce for emotional reasons, not practical. It really messed up the family system

Many men cheat for emotional reasons. Not practical. What's your point? People want to be in a relationship that supports them emotionally. Why is this so hard for people to do is the better question.

I agree divorce should help the kids more especially in Virginia where the child payment is too low and only a fourth of Massachusetts's requirements. My ex only had to pay $600 per child a month based on a $150k job. Its actually a monetary incentive to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What challenges? I’m 40 and have found dating is easier than ever. WAY better than my 20s, when you were basically limited to work and friends.

Yes, I agree completely! I am decent looking and middle aged, and I have a good career. Dating is still sometimes disappointing. I've been rejected and dumped But t I have options and so do the women I date.

Maybe that's the root of the problem OP asked about. Everyone who's desirable has many options. When I was younger, I didn't want to dump women because replacing them was hard. I could go for what felt like forever without a viable partner. Now there are always attractive, athletic and interesting women who are hanging out on the apps and willing to date me. There are plenty of new, smart, athletic and interesting men who want to date them too. You have to be resilient.

That’s so true. As a woman I stopped being sensitive to rejection at all with the apps. I might go around upset for couple days but then easily replace whoever dumped me
That’s counter productive for building a deep connection and ltr

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unrealistic expectations for both? Women being told they don’t need men and can prioritize their careers? Swipe culture?

If you’re going there, you forgot to add men expecting all of the perks of being male in Western culture without any of the traditional responsibilities.

If a woman cannot expect a helpmeet —not even a provider, but just someone shouldering half the domestic responsibilities, why shouldn’t she prioritize her career?

That way, she can afford to outsource whatever she needs. She can even afford one child if she really wants to parent. The single-parenting while married is awful. No one knows you’re struggling alone and they judge you for falling short of perfect or venting.

[Anonymous]

The Materialists was insightful about dating among a certain demographic, but it isn’t like that for most people.

[Anonymous]

Porn raises expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Porn raises expectations.

while decreasing both competence and confidence

[Anonymous]

I’ve been married a long time so not dating but my perspective is that all my dad had to do to be a good husband was bring home a paycheck and not cheat. I make as much if not more than my husband so moneymaking ability is much less important to me than my mom. But my in-laws didn’t raise my husband to be able to cook, understand complicated finances, clean, discuss feelings, be selfless, etc

[Anonymous]

Young people are too judgmental - and not willing to take a chance on something because they don’t know how to fail and try again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unrealistic expectations for both? Women being told they don’t need men and can prioritize their careers? Swipe culture?

Yes
Yes
Yes
Plus more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:55 YO woman. I like OLD. Have not had any trouble getting dates with decent men. So far none who seem exactly right in terms of chemistry, but I have mostly been very happy with the experience so far.

Interesting how middle aged women seem to be overall very happy with OLD.

Perhaps they’ve already built fulfilling lives and don’t need a relationship to be happy, so there’s little frustration. Whereas men tend to be lonelier and crave the connection more, and younger women are more on a time crunch.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the MAJORITY of middle aged women are happy with online dating, but quite a few find life partners and many more find companionship that lasts a while. The men on Match, Bumble and Hinge (and even Tinder) are not ALL scammers or perverts or narcissistic jerks. Some are decent guys.