20, 18 and infant

[Anonymous]

Find a hobby, OP. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

I've known a couple of people who did this. Mostly they had their first kids right out of high school, or even while they were still in high school. Married the daddy and had a second kid by age 20.

Fast forward 18-20 years. First set of kids are out of the house, and mom and dad are only 40. Many of their peers are starting families for the first time. They think, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My 30 and 20-something adult dcs' love their 11 yo sibling. She's been the light of all our lives. She also looks forward to being an aunt when the first grandchild arrives!

My own mom is still living and loving dc and my dad was until last year. My older dc are certainly not 'parenting younger sibling and managing aging parent' hello I'm 54 and we're heading to the trampoline park later!

People on here are constantly posting about how their much older kids just adore their much younger sibling. In real life the people I know who have these either resented the change in the family dynamic or were not remotely close to their much younger get sibling until much later in adulthood. It absolutely dramatically changes the family dynamic but to each his own.

*Raises hand* My family of origin - older sibling is 10 years older; younger sibling is 8 years younger. We do indeed love each other, although I’m still mad the younger one was a brother when I wanted a sister. It was FINE. All this fear mongering is silly.

[Anonymous]

It happens more often when a mother has two children now in their early 20s, one had a baby and grandmother ends up taking guardianship of a two year old grandchild.

[Anonymous]

OP is jelly the preggo ship has sailed for her.
MYOB too.

[Anonymous]

I only wish that could happen to me, OP.

Maybe don't judge unless these people are asking you for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oooh those ovurries! I wonder how much they spent to get a healthy fetus.
Plan B works. Medical abortion works. Entitlement works. Obviously they picked Plan C.

This doesn’t make sense. You think they spent a ton of money on IVF, but then suggest options for an accidental pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

I had several friends whose parents had accidents in high school. Obviously nobody was having a fourth child by choice at 45+ when their older kids were in middle school and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've known a couple of people who did this. Mostly they had their first kids right out of high school, or even while they were still in high school. Married the daddy and had a second kid by age 20.

Fast forward 18-20 years. First set of kids are out of the house, and mom and dad are only 40. Many of their peers are starting families for the first time. They think, why not?

That's exactly this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18- year old is out of the house and independent. What's it to him what we do in our home.
I was out of the house at 18.5. I moved to another continent and never looked back.

If you have a fully independent 18 year old I consider that a failure in parenting.

Hopefully, your parenting is a complete and total success and your kids will never be independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because you want another child, and you can. Also, it’s not taking away from an 18 and 20 year old; they should launched or close to it.

One is an Olympic level athlete that they've been shuttling around the world for competitions so obviously that comes to a halt and kid is on their own.

Why would that have to end? I mean infants can travel at least until school age.

[Anonymous]

It’s a good thing OP has solved all the other problems of the world before turning attention to something that is none of her concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My 30 and 20-something adult dcs' love their 11 yo sibling. She's been the light of all our lives. She also looks forward to being an aunt when the first grandchild arrives!

My own mom is still living and loving dc and my dad was until last year. My older dc are certainly not 'parenting younger sibling and managing aging parent' hello I'm 54 and we're heading to the trampoline park later!

What was the reasoning behind the 20 year gap?

We just weren't done. It's just how life plays out sometimes I guess.

Oops!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess would be an accident/surprise. I have friends with a similar dynamic and they say no baby is an accident because you know that what youre causes babies. So therefore don’t be surprised when it happens. If the people you know have the same logic they won’t be telling people it was an accident.

Also, not everyone wants to share if a baby was an accident. I wouldn’t if it were me. I wouldn’t want that getting back to my child someday.

I'd believe she wanted the baby and probably not him, but he should've gotten a vasectomy.

That said, I think it's so unfair to everyone involved. The older kids don't get to know the younger one. The younger one grows up as an only isolated in the household with no siblings and older parents that may or may not have a stable marriage. Finally the older kids won't get the previous support they had. Financially or otherwise.

And some people would say it's unfair to a child of any age to have another. My older brother certainly believes that my parents were awful for having more kids, even though we didn't have a significant age gap. Ironically- he's not resentful of our younger sibling, since he was so much older than them.

Breaking news!! Some siblings get along and adore each other, other siblings constantly fight for attention and resources.

As for OP - why do you care?