Need to become less of a Frumpy Mom more of a Cool Mom

[Anonymous]

I need help. I am 5'8 about 150, but where a 4 skirt/6 dress/8 pants (odd build). I need to tone up post two children, but in general not in bad shape. The problem, I am a SAHM but used to work FT and I really never bought fun at home clothes that work with little ones. My children are still at home with me, so I need things that work for that day to day interaction. Ideas? I really seem to be at a loss on what clothes to buy. I would like to look sharp, fun and even a bit hip. I am 38. When I worked I seemed to know how to put it together, but now I just need help. Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

A cool boutique opened up recently on 23rd Street in Crystal City. It's called "Gossip on 23rd," and it was just featured in Sunday's Washington Post:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/source/trend-spotter/shopper/012708.html

The clothes are on the youngish side -- more for going out than for wearing around town or for working, but the prices are great and the owner, Katherine, is really sweet and helpful. I've gotten some great stuff that DH calls my "hot mom" outfits!

[Anonymous]

start with a great pair of jeans, ie: sevens, citizens of mankind, etc.... then work your way up from there. they have comfortable ones with stretch in them. then invest in a pair of flat loafer type of shoes or boots. good luck!

[Anonymous]

I lived a few blocks from 23rd street for years and now that we're gone something cool opens up there. figures.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel your pain. I can't fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes even though it has been almost 8 months. I wear sweat pants or pajamas all day and avoid going out. I feel like a bag lady. I have no extra $$ right now to buy larger clothes and really don't want to waste the money since I have nice things that just do not fit. It sucks to feel frumpy.

[Anonymous]

How about call nordstroms, tell them what you told us and have a personal shopper pull some things for you to try. It is free and you are not obligated to buy anything. I did that and loved it. have fun.

[Anonymous]

I agree that a good pair of jeans in a dark wash is a great basic.

What I would do it, go through all your prematernity and maternity clothes and pull out the things that don't fit you right now or that you aren't wearing right now for whatever reason: wrong season, don't like it, etc.. Just put them in a box if you think you "might fit into them someday" or give them to charity
Tell yourself that in 6 months you will open the box to make sure you haven't gotten rid of something you love.

Then it may seem like you don't have any clothes left! That's fine:

Go get one pair of black pants that fit you (maybe start at Nordstrom?) and one pair of jeans. The Gap is a good place for those or go to a nicer place like Denim Bar to get one pair of really hip jeans.
Get 2-3 well-made plain t-shirts in colors that flatter you. It's amazing how the cut of a t-shirt really matters. I know Nordstrom has these too.
Get some everyday jewelry to pull together outfits - hoops, studs, whatever looks modern. Dept. stores have some good discounts on these things.
Look for a haircut you like in a magazine and go to a nice salon and get it. Update your makeup look too by going to MAC or Sephora and tell them you want an update.
Be prepared that sizes vary everywhere, so you may be anywhere from a 4-12 in everything. Ignore the size and try things on and focus on the fit.
Get a few comfortable but stylish shoes: one pair of black boots, one cute pair of walking shoe sneakers, and one pair of low black heels. You might have to get 1-2 more of these in the spring and summer. (sandals, etc.)

Try one of those personal shopper services that major dept store have They are free and might give you some ideas of looking pulled together even if you aren't going to an office.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks feeling inspired already!

[Anonymous]

I would also consider calling the woman at bethatmom.com. She went through my closet with a much better eye than I ever could, then I did a two-hour shopping trip with her and got 6 pieces that were a great starting point for me. She said she does everything from Target to Neimans.

It was the turning point I needed to get my mom jeans out and my confidence up, and I've been able to shop on my own ever since, so I thought it was really worth it.

[Anonymous]

Try Hoopla in Adams-Morgan.

[Anonymous]

I second Target if you have one near by. I am in my 40's and gotten remarks from my daughters like "cool top Mom, where did you get it?"

If you go with jeans, make sure you get a bit of spandex. Consider yoga pants too, expecially if you are going to be on the floor a lot. Nice flats - like the Sketchers biking shoes (no, you don't have to bike to wear them, they are a cross between a flat and a sneaker with elastic cross straps) pair nicely with yoga style pants, then one of the longer style tops to make it more stylish, less going to the gym.

[Anonymous]

Trendy jeans are a must. If you can pull off straight leg, get those. Joe's Jeans, 7's or Citizens are forgiving. Get trendy flats to wear with those jeans - Tory Burch Reva flat (a bit played out now though) or anything else that looks cool (i.e. patent). Bright neons are in for spring and in a flat would look great with cool jeans. Fitted sweaters that complement your shape, or get shirts in the more blousy styles that are in now (and forgiving!). A trendy diaper bag will top it off. Paula Quintana is very cool but you can get a Stork Sac for a lot less that will also look cool. Try Intermix and Cusp in Gtown for ideas for what's hip -- if that's beyond your budget then just go and see what they have and find something similar wherever you shop. Nordstrom, Saks and Bloomies are good dept store choices. And I second the posts re: hair and makeup - go get a hair/makeup makeover (I like Saks/Bobbi Brown for makeup) and a mani/pedi!

[Anonymous]

Before you go out to shop, stand in front of the mirror and take a good look at yourself, as you are, not as you want or hope to be after losing/gaining 10 pounds or whatever. What are you best features? Long neck? Great legs? Look for clothes that play them up. What are your problem areas? Midsection, upper arms? Again, work with what you've got? I have a short neck and it took me years to figure out that boat neck blouses were a disaster on me and that I should look for V-necks. "What not to Wear" is actually very helpful for this. Figure out what colors look good on you. Is your closet full of black and grey (mine was)? Get some bright color in there! Then, go shop for the basics -- you've gotten some good suggestions on this board: a good pair of jeans, a good pair of black pants, some well made T-shirts. I'd also recommend some cute scarf/glove sets (you can get some inexpensive ones at Filene's, Target, Loehmann's et.). A nice handbag, a pair of cute low-heeled boots, some tights, maybe a denim skirt, and you're in business! Good luck, and have fun!

[Anonymous]

Don't forget to take a look at where the pocket of those jeans hit your backside - that makes a big difference in how it looks! For me, Joe Jeans (the "curvy" fit) hit much better than Banana Republic. Takes more time to find the right pair, but worth it!

[Anonymous]

I think the big problem is that a persons body changes so much when they have a baby and then you don't know what to wear anymore.

Plus, if you're like us, you don't have as much spending money after baby as before (particuarly if you're no working....I work but cut my hours by 1/3) so you don't just go out and buy new stuff. I had a "boy shape" before and now I'm happy to have a little more curve, but even though my pre-pregnancy clothes fit again....in that they close and don't hurt anymore....they don't "fit". They look pretty frumpy, actually. Even my nice things. When I was 5 months pregnant my Mom took me to Pea in the Pod and they had a huge sale and she got me all of these great clothes. I actually MISS those freakin' pregnancy clothes! I go to the store and I have no idea what will look good. I have no idea which of my bras fit anymore. I know I can go to the store and get someone to measure me again, but I have no money for a $30 bra....much less a few of them. So, I end up looking only on sale racks and find things that look pretty good, but aren't things I may have bought if I didn't have a mostly empty closet. I work for the Government so I don't get any help from work....I also work with probably 90% men, so not much advice from that side.

I am not the OP but appreciate the support on this thread.

I'm 28 and I know 2 women in their 80s that dress better than I do. Actually, they dress better than almost everyone I know. Some women just KNOW how to dress.

I'm happy to hear others shop at Target. I also get compliments on things I buy there and recommend the Mossimo brand as it washes well and looks cute. It's one of the only places I can go and find fashionable things I can afford.

I also just want to say that a good haircut can do wonders. I am a big believer in changing your hair. It's the one risk you can really take that you can just change right away if you want to. I recommend finding a great stylist and letting them do their thing. I never tell them what I want because I figure they know what they're doing. I sometimes don't love my cut afterward, but sometimes I get something I'd have never thought of just on my own!