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Redshirted and Regretted It?
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Anonymous
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I posted this question on "Schools - General Discussion" forum but wanted to ask here, too. Has anyone regretted redshirting? If so, did you do anything to change the situation? It seems that some children would inevitably end up under-stimulated, under-challenged, and out of step with younger classmates, etc. No? Thanks!
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Anonymous
| Nope... best decision for our DS we could have ever made. |
Anonymous
| Redshirted number two. No regrets. Did not redshirt number one. Many regrets. |
Anonymous
| 22:49: What regrets do you have for not redshirting #1? |
Anonymous
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Our son is among the youngest in his class. He has kids who are 18+ months older than him in his grade. He knows it and the others know it. What is funny is the older kids in the class are bigger and stronger, yet they are no better off academically. They are also not more mature (ie less fidgety etc.) in the room than the other kids.
Our son uses the fact he is on the younger side as motivation to keep up and excel. The other thing is that the older kids are constantly asked why they aren't in the older grade. I believe that this will get worse as they get older (at least until things like drivers licenses etc kick in). I am not sure what the motivation behind redshirting the kids who are older was, but at this point, other than being bigger and stronger, there doesn't seem to be much advantage. I can say this on an anonymous message board: I think it made the parents feel better, but in my opinion, at least in the cases I am familiar with, it is emblimatic of the worse side of hovering parenting. Flame away. |
Anonymous
Is this the OP? |
Anonymous
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Developmental psychologist specializing in education here. Just a few thoughts on this topic...
Although its tempting to think that waiting a year will allow "younger" children to mature to the point of school readiness, their so-called "immature behavior" more often is a sign that they need extra support or intervention to develop the skills and behaviors necessary to succeed in school. Holding them back a year may just delay their getting the help they need and may stigmatize them in the process. Even for young children whose behavior makes them seem particularly immature for their age, holding them back often is not the answer. The literature clearly shows that there is no significant evidence that children do better if school entrance is delayed or if they repeat a grade. |
Anonymous
| To the PP- Why is immature behavior a sign of something "wrong?" Just curious. My DS is in preschool and compared to the other kids his age, his behavior is considered "immature" according to his teacher. He is in a small class so I can see some of what she means. The other kids in his class all have older sibs so they have built in socialization every day which my son doesn't get (except w/ me). Is not being able to sit still and focus for a long period of time sign of a problem at age 4 and 5? |
Anonymous
Short answer: Yes. (But not at the start of the school year, and not if a child has not been in any structured environment before, but by Feb. if child cannot sit still or focus, then they need extra help - i would not call it a problem by the way but I would also not explain it away with older siblings. Just something that needs more attention. Another year older will not solve this by itself. But you know what, it is ok that there are things the need 'work' as long as this is acknowledged and acted on. |
Anonymous
I don't believe this to be true. I believe several studies show that an early advantage eventually evens out in later elementary school and so is a wash, and I believe other studies that followed redshirted kids demonstrate a continuing advantage to that child throughout his school career. As I recall, this batch of studies tended to show the ongoing benefit was more in the psycho/social realm and not the academic realm. Confidence, peer relational skills, etc. I don't have time to look up each one, but a decent starting place to get the authors / universities is that New York Times article from ~ one year ago. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/03/magazine/03kindergarten-t.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=redshirt%20kindergarten&st=cse Here is a neat synopsis: "For years, education scholars have pointed out that most studies have found that the benefits of being relatively older than one’s classmates disappear after the first few years of school. In a literature review published in 2002, Deborah Stipek, dean of the Stanford school of education, found studies in which children who are older than their classmates not only do not learn more per grade but also tend to have more behavior problems. However, more recent research by labor economists takes advantage of new, very large data sets and has produced different results. A few labor economists do concur with the education scholarship, but most have found that while absolute age (how many days a child has been alive) is not so important, relative age (how old that child is in comparison to his classmates) shapes performance long after those few months of maturity should have ceased to matter. The relative-age effect has been found in schools around the world" |
Anonymous
| So is the poster saying that there is no difference between a 5 and a half yr old boy's ability to sit still and pay attention and a 6 and a half yr old boy? It seems that waiting one year (w/ no interventions) would be beneficial for the 5 and a half yr old who seems "immature." Maturity occurs at different rates and don't boys mature more slowly than girls? Isn't it something like a good year or so difference between a girl at 5 and a boy at 5? But yet they are expected to do the same things. |
Anonymous
No, I am the OP. I haven't decided when to start ds in kind., but I do admit to having very similar thoughts as this poster. Call me the bragging parent or delusional or what you will, but my ds is one of the smartest children I have met -- Yes, including those a year older. I have no doubt that he could keep up academically if he starts as a very young 5 (late summer b-day), and neither does his pre-school. He is smarter than I ever was at his age, and I was no slouch. He is a sponge for knowledge! He is also very tall. His maturity level seems to be on par with his age --not particularly mature or immature. However, I've discovered that most of the children with summer birthdays at the school we are contemplating have been redshirted and that the school strongly encourages it. School says that children who are redshirted are "more confident" and more likely to be "leaders." Okay, BUT, doesn't this confidence disappear when the child realizes that his parents didn't have the confidence to send him to school when he was age-eligible? Doesn't this result in a feeling that you are not "as smart as" your younger classmates? Or, if you are ahead academically, do you just attribute it to being older and not necessarily smarter? Dh and I are not on the same page with this; he is convinced that being younger than all the other boys will result in a "frustrating" experience for ds. I, on the other hand, think that it may be more frustrating for him to be around younger children if we wait a year. If so many didn't redshirt, I wouldn't even be considering this. FWIW, I think dh's opinion is colored by how ds's sports performance could be affected by being younger, though he won't openly admit to it! |
Anonymous
That sounds very nice in theory... but I can tell you from first hand experience that the redshirt year made a HUGE difference in our summer birthday son's readiness for K... and now he is thriving and the leader of his class. Reality is that if he had been born 3 1/2 weeks later, he would have been forced to wait another year anyway. Just be careful generalizing... b/c I can tell you it made a big difference in our family's experience. |
Anonymous
Couldn't have said it better myself. And while athletics are fun and important, unless you see serious Division 1/Pro level acumen, does it really matter? |
Anonymous
Are you serious? Do you think it is just a coincidence that the most popular and socially well adjusted kids in high school tend to be those that are good at sports (especially for boys)? (ie the stereotypical "quarterback of the football team" and "captain of the cheerleaders"). For boys, excelling at team sports typically gives huge boosts in self-confidence and provides recognition and affirmation from peers. So, redshirting a summer birthday boy in order to mitigate against a later physical disadvantage in sports seems like a decent strategy in my book. I'm sure I'll get flamed away by all the former nerds in school who think that sports/popularity are not important nor predicative of future "success". I'll choose just to leave that one alone for now... |