s/o Advice for starting middle school (7th grade)

[Anonymous]

I thought there was some really good advice in the starting high school thread.....wanted to see if anyone had suggestions on MS. This is in FCPS so starting in 7th grade, and won't know alot of people there because of split feeder situation. My child has done well academically and is organized, but I worry about her level of stress and social naivete. I'm concerned about the early start time at 7:30 and how that will affect her too. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

NP here, and I'm also curious about the same things, hoping for answers. (My son is excited, but is still in so many ways a little boy! Has done well academically but is NOT organized like OP's DD.)

[Anonymous]

3/4 of the battle is organization. If your child is organized, you have very little to fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3/4 of the battle is organization. If your child is organized, you have very little to fear.

So true!

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP in the HS thread - I've never had a spin off thread, I'm so excited

I obviously have a daughter who just went through MS and I also have a son who is a rising 7th grader.

* There's no more hand-holding by parents in MS. This is where kids learn to advocate and problem solve for themselves. So I agree with much of the same advice as that which was given to me in the HS thread and apply it to MS - let them do things themselves and learn from their mistakes, because they'll be in HS soon, where their grades start to matter more.

* Also same as HS thread -- encourage them to get involved in after school activities/clubs. This seems to be where they find their circle of friends and support network. For DD, it was theatre. There are a million clubs!

* Not sure if it will be the same for boys, but for DD and her friends - they all grew apart. They are still friends, mind you, but there are a lot of shifts in MS (physical, academic and social). So the fact that your daughter won't know a lot of people - I don't think is a big deal for that reason. A lot of growth in MS. I feel like one kid goes in and a new one comes out

* The amount that homework increased from GS to MS was huge. Organization is definitely helpful, but to the NP with the son that is not organized, FCPS uses BlackBoard a lot and EVERYTHING is up there in MS. Plus they use a system called SIS where you can see the grades for every single assignment - so not that I'm advocating helicoptering, but for kids who need help learning to organize and learn better time management - these tools are awesome for both kids and parents!

If your kids are going to Rocky Run? You are gold - the school, staff and principal rock!

[Anonymous]

Let her have a phone and an Instagram account. All of her friends will have one.

She will NOT stay tight with her group of elementary school kids. She will try out new kids/friends.

She needs a safe space -- make that home.

The lunchroom is the social jungle. Her fortunes will rise and fall on who she sits with/where she sits, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3/4 of the battle is organization. If your child is organized, you have very little to fear.

Absolutely!

[Anonymous]

The middle school teachers are pretty firm about how the kids need to keep their notebooks organized and so forth. Find out the system and sit with your kid each night for the first couple of weeks to make sure he/she is following the guidelines, then pull back to weekly, then monthly checks, if your child is not organized naturally. At the checkins, prompt the child to check if he or she needs more pencils or pens or whatever. If they don't have that kind of thing ready in class when they are needed, they are embarrassed and that much farther behind and it all snowballs. Make them use the agenda book. A book called That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week is good for parents of kids with organizational issues. The main thing is to have a routine set up and then follow it always, even for household things like where you put your bookbag, where your phone gets charged, etc.

If your child's teacher is not posting on Blackboard, ask them about it once, and then report them to the assistant principal. This is required, and some teachers don't want to do it, but they are required to.

Yes, the children need to develop skills on their own, but don't let them fall behind so much that they can't get back up. They can get demoralized and depressed. Middle school is where a lot of kids can get off track for a long, long time, so even if you are accused of helicoptering, stay involved.

The FCPS middle schools do a great job of having afterschool programs and you should really encourage your kid to go, and to invite home new friends, so you can get to know them. If they are naturally reclusive, or would rather be on their computers, insist that they stay after at least one or two days each week.

There is much research that shows that the more connections kids have with their school and the activities there, the better they do and the higher their grades are.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is going to forget things. We found having a copy of the books at home was helpful. They do not want to be doing anything differently from their peers. So if their best friends are all organized and remember things, they're going to refuse to use the index card that reminds them what to bring home. Rather than have endless fights about it (sigh) just prepare for it with duplicates.

[Anonymous]

The biggest difference is in MS, the parents are not involved in the school. This is by design, as they are tying to teach the kids to be independent. For us, the biggest issues were social....(probably true of most...think back to your youth).

DD had a close group of friends...not all of the friends went to the same MS, and of those that did, she drifted from some.

My DD also discovered that some of the fun "cool" kids are actually potentially problematic. She was ditched by "friends" on a school trip...but then discovered that other kids were really nice.

Also, be ready for boy/girl drama....

Academics for us were not an issue, except when the social drama caused DD to lose her focus....

[Anonymous]

This is 14:15 (with the bright but disorganized son).

THANK YOU to the posters so far regarding organizational stuff, especially to 18:23 for the great information!!!

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it helps but when I was in middle school and high school I worked out a schedule, for myself regarding homework / after school commitments and when I would have free time on the weekends. I spent ALL of sunday on essays and music practice, Saturday afternoons and evenings were free.

[Anonymous]

Meet the new friends and stay involved. Some really nice kids ended up with the wrong crowd. Intervene early if you see red flags.

[Anonymous]

This is the year your child becomes responsible for communicating with teachers about things like missed assignments, makeup tests, project questions etc. MS teachers are great at helping kids navigate this. Step back and expect you child to start advocating for themselves.

[Anonymous]

This is also the year your child sees that they can get an A on every test, but end up with a B or lower if they consistently forget to turn in homework. The stakes are very low, because only Algebra and higher math and World Languages go on the HS transcript. Step back and let them fail now (or make their first C).