My kids don't have any neighborhood friends

[Anonymous]

I was thinking this weekend that my kids, first and third grader, don't have any neighborhood friends. They go to a charter school that is not in our neighborhood (it is a 15 minute or more drive to school) and then go to afterschool care. We don't do playdates because they play afterschool with their school friends at the after school center. Then in the evenings they do a lot of sports activities and have games on the weekends. I was feeling a little sad that they don't have anyone to play with in our neighborhood. There are no young kids on our block; it seems like most of the kids in our neighborhood are teenagers. There are kids there ages a few blocks away that I have seen but since they don't go to the neighborhood school they don't know anyone who lives around here. It almost makes me want to just send them to the neighborhood school to make some friends they can play with on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

I think this is pretty common in some parts of the DC. Certainly true of our block in Cleveland Park, where there are plenty of young kids, but they go to something like 8-10 different schools. They seem happy enough.

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal. I grew up with no neighborhood friends and lived through it.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a neighborhood list serve? Your kids are young enough that you can email out to see if other similarly aged kids would like to have a play date.

Is there a neighborhood pool to which you belong? Local park that's close?

[Anonymous]

They're in aftercare and play with school friends there daily. They are in extracurriculars in the evenings on weekdays. They are plenty busy. As they get older -- very soon, in fact, given their ages now--they will want to see their friends from school and sports etc. outside of school and sports, because these are the kids with whom they have things in common. Please try to make that happen even though you have to drive them to see those friends. Friendships based on common interests and experiences are the ones they're going to stick with; friendships based just on proximity are fine for playing around but, I find, often tend to fade as kids get older and their interests and activities become their focus.

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid we wondered why we weren't "good enough" for the private school families.

When you send your kids to a school other than the neighborhood school it sends a message.

You can get over this hurdle, but I think it's up to you to make the effort.

[Anonymous]

We live on a street with lots of kids (and my kids do play with them), but they love playing with each other the most. Do your kids play well together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid we wondered why we weren't "good enough" for the private school families.

When you send your kids to a school other than the neighborhood school it sends a message.

You can get over this hurdle, but I think it's up to you to make the effort.

What message?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid we wondered why we weren't "good enough" for the private school families.

When you send your kids to a school other than the neighborhood school it sends a message.

You can get over this hurdle, but I think it's up to you to make the effort.

I think this was more your problem than theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid we wondered why we weren't "good enough" for the private school families.

When you send your kids to a school other than the neighborhood school it sends a message.

You can get over this hurdle, but I think it's up to you to make the effort.

I think this was more your problem than theirs.

NP, here. No, its very real.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the Midwest and went to a private school so I didn't have any neighborhood friends either. It would have been fine except my parents kept putting me in activities to meet kids in the neighborhood - sports, Girl Scouts, church youth group. I was shy and awkward and just wanted to hang out with my school friends. All the other girls knew each other from school so it was hard for me to break in. My parents just had to drive a little farther on weekends for me to get together with my friends.

So if your kids are happy, then don't worry about it. If they want friends close by, see if you can get them into local activities.

[Anonymous]

It may be a problem, but who's causing it? Why do you assume that you are not "good enough"? Why not assume that people sending their kids to private schools have different needs and priorities? And by "different priorities" I'm not suggesting that they value education more than people who send their kids to public schools; perhaps they prioritize different aspects of education.

[Anonymous]

BS...kids on our block/neighborhood go to many different schools including the local public. They all play with each other on weekends and afternoons and have for years.

[Anonymous]

OP here- we are just tired of driving. DH and I both commute. We drive on the weekends for sports. We just don't want to drive on the weekends to do play dates. I really didn't think about having neighborhood friend when I decided they would go to a charter school. I am seriously considering putting them in our neighborhood school to cut down on the commute and so they can make friends closer to where we live.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same situation in Fairfax. We live on a cul-de-sak of empty nesters and my kids are in immersion, so not at the base school.

Yes, there are days I wish they could just go outside and find a kid to play with, but honestly there are most likely only 3-4 weekends a year where that happens.

My 7th grader has travel sports and texts his friends. My grader schooler could use some bodies in the neighborhood.

Are you sure you have kids in your neighborhood? We don't (OK, I'm sure we do, but after living there for 17 years, I know the folks in walking distance. I know there are kids in the sub-division, but who's to say they would be friends...)