I read a text and wow! What to do now
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Anonymous
| My 13yr DD has a "special friend" her words, they don't hold hands, kiss etc... he just asked her if she wanted to go out. What ever that means at 13. Any way, I read a text from him and it said " Sean said you want it hard", her answer was that is gross. And then he said she was beautiful, blah blah blah. WTF! I want to confront both the boys, the one that said this and the one that texted this. I am not about boyfriends at 13, but I do know that in school I am not in control. I have talked with her plenty about boys and hormones and respect...what would you do. I am boiling mad! |
Anonymous
| I don't know what I would do, but I would be happy/proud that my daughter said, "that is gross." Of course I would prefer it if she said, "I am never talking to you again," but I don't think that is reality. |
Anonymous
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I am so happy she wrote that! She is so far from that and naive. I am going to tell her this weekend that we will not allowed her to date, go out or what ever it is called until she is 16. Blame the parent. Too much can happen at such a young age. That boy is a pig!
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Anonymous
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Damn, I'd respond: "This is Larla's mom. Stop sending sexually suggestive texts to her. I've copied this and will be sharing this with your parents as I'm guessing they're not okay with their son messaging girls with inappropriate comments."
I don't play. --Mom of a 14 year old boy. And yes, I would want another parent to share this with me if my son texted a message like this. And I have checked my son's texts and would share sexually inappropriate messages with other parents. |
Anonymous
I did copy text and messaged myself. because that is what I am thinking about doing. She will be mad as hell but at this point she is too damn young.. |
Anonymous
This. It sounds like she handled it well. |
Anonymous
15:46 here: They're all testing the boundaries. It's up to parents to show them where the limit is. You would want another parent to share with you if your daughter was sending inappropriate things. Contact the other parent beginning with that statement: Because I'd want the same done for me, I'm sharing this with you.. |
Anonymous
She did... I am the one with the problem. I want to expose that jerk! I know, he is a hormonal boy, so what!! Thats my baby! |
Anonymous
I would leave Sean out of this, unless he is also sending explicit texts. There are a couple of red flags for me, mom of a 17-year-old and a 12-year old (both boys). Two things are problematic for the rules in my house. 1. I have three rules about sex that I have drilled into my older son: Always wear a condom. No mean no, and drunk means no. Sex is a private thing between two people. 2. I have one rule about the internet/electronics: There is no privacy. There is no privacy on texting or emailing or messaging. Anything can be read by ANYONE. So sending sexually explicit information this way is inappropriate (because sex is a private thing, see above). I would sit down to have a chat with DD, telling her that I am glad that she responded in an appropriate, non-explicit way. Not because sex is gross but because sexually explicit texts are not private and therefore are inappropriate. So hooray for her for being so smart and savvy. Then I would tell her that it's a big problem that Friend is apparently not aware that there is no privacy in texting. It's a problem for her, because he has shown that he doesn't seem to want to protect her privacy, and it's a problem for him because he could get himself into big trouble. So as suggested above, I would be immediately contacting Friend's parents to let them know about this text. And I would also send a text back to the boy along the lines of, "This is Larla's mother. Sexually explicit texts are inappropriate." |
Anonymous
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Mom of teens here. I would definitely talk to my daughter first. You are blaming the boys for the comments, but your daughter may not be innocent here. You want to find out from her what is the nature of their relationship and whether she's made any comments to them that would have led to someone saying this.
Second, I would be talking to my daughter about internet safety - primarily that once you say something online, it's there forever. In this case, it's not what she said, but it's just a good opening. Having read texts for years, I can say that you cannot remind your kids often enough that there are no takebacks with texts and whatever you post online. As to talking with other parents, I am not sure whether I'd do it. I can think of ways this could come back to cause your daughter problems. For example, the boy goes to school and say that your daughter is slut talking (and right now you don't know whether it's true and even if it isn't, it doesn't sound like it would matter) and then your daughter could end up with a reputation that she doesn't deserve. |
Anonymous
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my problem is I really don't want her to know I read her text but I guess she will just have to deal with that. I am the parent, this is why I read the text! Wow this is too much. I thought I had a few years.
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Anonymous
WHAT??? How is that you have not communicated that her phone and anything communicated on them are subject to your scrutiny??? My son knows his phone is not his, it's ours. If he wants privacy, he can write in a diary. But there is way too much nonsense going on through texting. Parental supervision is absolutely necessary for a 13 year old. I'm not saying you have to read every single text, but your daughter needs to know that you can and will make frequent checks. |
Anonymous
| Most boys mature faster then girls when it comes to sex. Every guy I've been with said they started having sex between 11-13 I was much older then that. |
Anonymous
| Your daughter handled it well and it sounds like you don't have anything to worry about. I would leave it alone. |
Anonymous
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Mine are too young to have had this experience. Believe me, I'm taking notes!! |