Spanking. How? What? (debate the topic elsewhere)

[Anonymous]

For those here who have used or do use spanking as a disciplinary option, how are you doing it? What is the "proper way" that I've read on here?

I'm not asking this to debate; it's something I hadn't thought much about, but I talked with DH and it's a possibility for some of the behavior issues we've been facing.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Not in anger. Punishment for disobedience or defiance, usually when it's repeated. Remove from the situation, especially if it's heated or other siblings around. Remind child of the rule and what he/she did wrong, and what the consequence will be this time and every time. Over knee, bare bottom, spank with hand a few times.

Don't apologize for doing it, but tell them that you know they can do better in the future. Done.

[Anonymous]

omg if you have to ask...

[Anonymous]

It is VERY important that you make sure your child understand the nuance of spanking.

When a child hits/spanks anyone (an adult, a sibling, a friend) it is wrong.

When a sibling hits/spanks the child, it is wrong.

When an adult non-parent hits/spanks the child, it is wrong.

When an adult hits/spanks another adult, it is wrong.

When a parent hits/spanks his own biological offspring, it is effective and a useful tool.


When a kid can understand that logic, you've done it correctly.

[Anonymous]

For me, spanking is an escalation when other disciplining techniques have not worked. Agree that it is not done in anger or as. An unexpected response.. for me, typical scenario is that first offense is time out with a discussion afterwards of what the unacceptable behavior was. Second offense is loss of a item or privilege that is favored. Afterwards discussion that a repeat of behavior will result in a spanking. Spanking can be either a swat on the bottom (most common) but in cases of hitting a sibling I have swatted the back of the hand. Not hard but enough to cause a light sting (for me, about as hard as I would swat a mosquito).

I have only had to resort to this a few (less than 5) times between the ages of 2-4 (current age) but it is noted that it is an escalation. Often the discussion that the third offense will bring this is sufficient deterence (or when seeing near behavior, asking "do you want a spanking?") And I never have to actually execute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not in anger. Punishment for disobedience or defiance, usually when it's repeated. Remove from the situation, especially if it's heated or other siblings around. Remind child of the rule and what he/she did wrong, and what the consequence will be this time and every time. Over knee, bare bottom, spank with hand a few times.

Don't apologize for doing it, but tell them that you know they can do better in the future. Done.

This is very similar to what DH was saying, based on his childhood. I think we're going to give it a try, because everything else is not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not in anger. Punishment for disobedience or defiance, usually when it's repeated. Remove from the situation, especially if it's heated or other siblings around. Remind child of the rule and what he/she did wrong, and what the consequence will be this time and every time. Over knee, bare bottom, spank with hand a few times.

Don't apologize for doing it, but tell them that you know they can do better in the future. Done.

This is very similar to what DH was saying, based on his childhood. I think we're going to give it a try, because everything else is not working.

My husband is very good at doing this...me, not so much. I'd hit out of anger or frustration, so I just don't ever hit.

[Anonymous]

Does he do it as described? Can I ask for what ages, and what sort of offenses? And is it effective for you guys?

[Anonymous]

I only do it when a behavior is continuing after discussing that it's wrong and then taking something away that is special. I will only spank once on the bottom. Not hard but enough that it is uncomfortable. I haven't had to do it in a long time, because I did it earlier. Now, I just have to threaten that it will happen if the behavior doesn't stop. I think spanking has a place in discipline and I can tell when kids have been spanked vs just talked to (they are, usually, the ones running over their parents on the playground).

[Anonymous]

I only do it when a behavior is continuing after discussing that it's wrong and then taking something away that is special. I will only spank once on the bottom. Not hard but enough that it is uncomfortable. I haven't had to do it in a long time, because I did it earlier. Now, I just have to threaten that it will happen if the behavior doesn't stop. I think spanking has a place in discipline and I can tell when kids have been spanked vs just talked to (they are, usually, the ones running over their parents on the playground).

How on earth can you possibly claim to know this? It just makes you sound like a judgmental ass when you say things like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is VERY important that you make sure your child understand the nuance of spanking.

When a child hits/spanks anyone (an adult, a sibling, a friend) it is wrong.

When a sibling hits/spanks the child, it is wrong.

When an adult non-parent hits/spanks the child, it is wrong.

When an adult hits/spanks another adult, it is wrong.

When a parent hits/spanks his own biological offspring, it is effective and a useful tool.


When a kid can understand that logic, you've done it correctly.

I like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I only do it when a behavior is continuing after discussing that it's wrong and then taking something away that is special. I will only spank once on the bottom. Not hard but enough that it is uncomfortable. I haven't had to do it in a long time, because I did it earlier. Now, I just have to threaten that it will happen if the behavior doesn't stop. I think spanking has a place in discipline and I can tell when kids have been spanked vs just talked to (they are, usually, the ones running over their parents on the playground).

How on earth can you possibly claim to know this? It just makes you sound like a judgmental ass when you say things like that.

That's because I am a "judgmental ass" about this subject. I've been around too many parents that cannot control their children because they haven't spanked them, only talked to them. If your child is a controlled human being without spanking, great, but many children are not, and it shows. I get tons of compliments on my DC's behavior. I also hear other parents talk about how bad another child/ren is and I know that child hasn't been spanked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I only do it when a behavior is continuing after discussing that it's wrong and then taking something away that is special. I will only spank once on the bottom. Not hard but enough that it is uncomfortable. I haven't had to do it in a long time, because I did it earlier. Now, I just have to threaten that it will happen if the behavior doesn't stop. I think spanking has a place in discipline and I can tell when kids have been spanked vs just talked to (they are, usually, the ones running over their parents on the playground).

How on earth can you possibly claim to know this? It just makes you sound like a judgmental ass when you say things like that.

That's because I am a "judgmental ass" about this subject. I've been around too many parents that cannot control their children because they haven't spanked them, only talked to them. If your child is a controlled human being without spanking, great, but many children are not, and it shows. I get tons of compliments on my DC's behavior. I also hear other parents talk about how bad another child/ren is and I know that child hasn't been spanked.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Seriously you have to start thread number five on this in three days?! Serious need for online attention there, hm? I am not going to tell you what I think about spanking. Instead I will tell you to stop making new posts about this. It is getting completely ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously you have to start thread number five on this in three days?! Serious need for online attention there, hm? I am not going to tell you what I think about spanking. Instead I will tell you to stop making new posts about this. It is getting completely ridiculous.

Would it be better to talk about the Duggars? Are you under obligation to review each thread, even the ones that don't interest you?