Husband lying and cheating. Protecting self/child

[Anonymous]

Okay there is nothing new here except this time it's me. DH is lying and cheating and denies it. I work part time, underearn and am primary care taker to our special needs child. Is there anything I can do to protect myself at this late hour? How might this have a positive outcome. I'm willing to work through it, but he denies it. I will not stay with a liar.

[Anonymous]

First of all, I am very sorry that you are in this situation. It totally sucks.

A liar will not stop. At some point, I predict you will tire of being treated in this way and probably want to leave. His denial is not helpful, but a bunch of apologies, remorse, and empty promises don't really help as much as you'd think. I encourage you to leave for your own personal emotional health. That said, you probably cannot just leave today. You need to think carefully about what you can do to be able to leave ... put some money aside, possibly get higher paying work, line up social/emotional support (especially given your SN child), identify where you will go, etc.

It is a lot to think about and you don't have to do it all at once or even this year. But start thinking in those terms and putting yourself in the position to leave. If everything works out and you no longer wish to leave ... you have lost nothing. All women should really have an exit plan of some sort even if they are happily situated, because as you just found out (and as did I recently), things change and/or are not what they seemed.

I wish you the best. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

In order for both of you to have the opportunity to move forward from your issues, he needs to step up to the plate + admit his transgressions first. If he refuses to do so, then there is no possible way you both can move on.

He needs to be upfront and honest w/you if he truly cares about salvaging this marriage.

Until he does this, your marital union will remain as it is now. Broken.

[Anonymous]

He will never admit to cheating until you have proof. This is just the way cheaters operate. I've heard of people going through a year of couples counseling before one of them finally admitted to having an affair.

It sounds like you don't have extra money for a private investigator, so you could have a friend follow him if you're sure he's cheating. Btw, why do you think he's cheating?