I was so close and now I’m shut out

[Anonymous]

I don't feel sorry for OP and no amount of people trying posting here going to make that happen. She can take her $1.2 million budget and find something and gasp! is by no means "locked out of the UMC" GTFOOHWTHBS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

Good god. No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is a man, that is why you would not respond the same way to him. Men are allowed to work hard and want nice things.

One more time for those in the back:

People are allowed to want nice things. People are allowed to be disappointed if they can’t afford those things. People are even allowed to complain about not being able to afford those things.

However, if the thing you want is a luxury and you are complaining to people who have far less, you will sound entitled and tone deaf.

The end.

Plenty of people on DCUM with these budgets or larger complain about the market. Suddenly OP is a monster for doing the same? GTFOOH

Exactly. And plenty of $1 million homes here are nothing close to luxurious.

It’s really more the tone of being a victim, whining about not being UMC, hyperbole about working forever and never having equity, her total neglect to acknowledge any of the privilege she does have, much less show some of her own empathy toward posters like the one trying to hit at $300k… It all adds up to a very unsympathetic poster who frankly seems incredibly immature for a 50-year old.

A $300,000 home is for rich people in many parts of the country. Are you going to harass them for their privilege too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is a man, that is why you would not respond the same way to him. Men are allowed to work hard and want nice things.

One more time for those in the back:

People are allowed to want nice things. People are allowed to be disappointed if they can’t afford those things. People are even allowed to complain about not being able to afford those things.

However, if the thing you want is a luxury and you are complaining to people who have far less, you will sound entitled and tone deaf.

The end.

Plenty of people on DCUM with these budgets or larger complain about the market. Suddenly OP is a monster for doing the same? GTFOOH

Exactly. And plenty of $1 million homes here are nothing close to luxurious.

It’s really more the tone of being a victim, whining about not being UMC, hyperbole about working forever and never having equity, her total neglect to acknowledge any of the privilege she does have, much less show some of her own empathy toward posters like the one trying to hit at $300k… It all adds up to a very unsympathetic poster who frankly seems incredibly immature for a 50-year old.

NP - further to his point, her complaints really have nothing to do with being UMC. That's determined by salary and net worth, not where you live or the size of your house. OP's net worth is exactly the same as it was yesterday. What she's whining about is that she can't afford the type of house to which she felt entitled, based on her assets and income. Really apples and oranges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think some time away from this board might serve you well. This board can make people feel like failures if they can't afford a beautiful SFH in Bethesda or Chevy Chase. The truth is, most people can't. There are tons of people in a similar situation as you (including me) who are extremely frustrated right now by how dramatically housing prices have increased in the past few years as they were saving to buy for the first time or trade up. The only thing you can really do is figure out a path forward and try to stop thinking about what could have been. I am not that great at it myself, but I have reached a point of some peace with the situation and how to proceed moving forward. I can't say I don't think about what could have been, but I try not to obsess over it.

Thanks. I guess it’s hard because nearly everyone of my peers has what I always wanted and it’s constantly shoved in my and my kids’ faces and I feel like I have failed. I did fail.

Are you a real person? You failed because you don't own a $1.5M house in Bethesda? And how exactly is it shoved in your face? By the mere existence of your peers?

OP is a troll. The world she describes doesn’t exist. If OP were real she’d buy a house she can afford like every other homebuyer.

DP. I think everyone responding to OP like this a troll and a sociopath. So many posters on DCUM want houses of the same cost as what OP wants. They are desperate for them. They complain they are having a "freak out" over low inventory..OP is a person who saved for a long time for something she wants, and now can't have it. So many of us have been there. It's a horrible feeling. For us it was a house in a neighborhood where you could get a livable SFH for $500k in 2019. Same model house in worse condition worse lot, went for over $600k in 2021. We felt awful. We did end up compromising and getting a townhouse. We're very happy with our home now.

When close friends with more money had rough experiences 2022 to find their $900k and $2 million homes, did I say "stop complaining, you are so privileged, you can't possibly be real"? No, because I'm not a sociopath and am capable of empathy.

OP, just ignore these fools. They cannot possibly be real people.

OP is a single mom who says she could have afforded a $1.7M home by herself with 3% interest rates. The monthly payment for a house that expensive, even back then, was probably around $8,000-$10,000 a month. So OP is probably making around $300,000 or more to even think of that purchase.

So, to you, people are sociopaths because they’re a little taken aback that a rich lady, by any standard, is complaining that she can’t afford a $1.7M house anymore. Are you trolling as well? You don’t see the hubris it takes to fish for empathy from strangers when you’re such an incredibly privileged person because you can’t afford a $1.7M house anymore BY YOURSELF?!

Here’s a charming colonial in Bethesda for less than $900,000 with what appears to be a Wolf range. Maybe OP can “settle” and get a house like this, which is a nicer home than an overwhelming majority of people in this area can even think of affording with a partner, let alone by themselves, in an outstanding school district.

https://www.redfin.com/MD/Bethesda/5906-Roosevelt-St-20817/home/10662235


I

Wow, that’s a great house! And affordable for OP!

Ummm. It is in MD..not VA.

Did OP say she had to be in VA? She never told us where she was looking. Or her actual budget. Hard to give useful recommendations.

I would assume the person you're replying to is OP, given I don't believe VA was mentioned until now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the jerks on this thread. I'm very sorry for what happened to you. A lot of people are in the same boat.

I'll offer this take though in hopes that it makes you feel better. If you were renting and saving to try to stretch into a $1.2M home, then that doesn't leave a lot of room for emergencies. As a single parent, it might be wiser to go for a smaller home that would cost less to purchase and maintain. Then save that money for savings, activities, and vacations. Your kids would have a much better childhood in a smaller home without financial stress and plenty of money to do fun things.

This may be a long shot, but are your kids in private school? Private school can really stoke feelings of financial inadequacy because there are so many extremely wealthy families. It can make families with a 300-400K HHI feel poor, especially after shelling out for private school. IMO it's not worth it to stretch to send your kids to private. Money rules there and it can really take a toll on self esteem.

What *happened* to her? LMAO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

No one cares.

Ok, you don't care if your advice/attacks are helpful. Good to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

No one cares.

Ok, you don't care if your advice/attacks are helpful. Good to know.

Mo, no one cares that your FIL's dream car is a Mercedes, and how he might feel if he wasn't able to purchase one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

No one cares.

Ok, you don't care if your advice/attacks are helpful. Good to know.

Mo, no one cares that your FIL's dream car is a Mercedes, and how he might feel if he wasn't able to purchase one.

But I thought it was directly relevant to OP.'s situation and that this dumb metaphor would definitively prove that OP is not allowed to post about her frustrations with to e current real estate market!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was so close to buying in 2020 and 2021 and now those properties I could afford at 1.2 and 3% are at 1.7 and 6.8% and I am locked out of the UMC for the rest of my life. No equity here.

I've been having difficulty following the numbers in this thread so went back to the original post. I thought OP was being hyperbolic about the rate of price increases since 2021 (I am no longer in this area) but then I took a look at a current home listed in Arlington at $1.65M and was shocked to see that it sold for $870,000 in 2021. It's just one data point that may ultimately sell for less, and it looks as though the sellers did a fair amount of remodeling, but it's certainly an aggressive increase.

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/18-N-Garfield-St-22201/home/11256002

As a previous poster pointed out, a $1.2M budget at 3% interest translates with 20% down translates to about 5K/month PITI. At 6.8% interest, if OP still put $240K down (her 20% payment on the $1.2M house), she can afford up to a $900,000 home to maintain that $5K/month PITI.

So yeah, that's a massive swing in a short time, and a 4,000-square foot home in Arlington is now out of OP's reach. Frustrating of course, but timing is everything and sometimes we miss the boat. OP I hope you take a look at some of the less expensive options that have been presented to you, because $900K can still buy you a lovely home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is a man, that is why you would not respond the same way to him. Men are allowed to work hard and want nice things.

One more time for those in the back:

People are allowed to want nice things. People are allowed to be disappointed if they can’t afford those things. People are even allowed to complain about not being able to afford those things.

However, if the thing you want is a luxury and you are complaining to people who have far less, you will sound entitled and tone deaf.

The end.

Plenty of people on DCUM with these budgets or larger complain about the market. Suddenly OP is a monster for doing the same? GTFOOH

Exactly. And plenty of $1 million homes here are nothing close to luxurious.

It’s really more the tone of being a victim, whining about not being UMC, hyperbole about working forever and never having equity, her total neglect to acknowledge any of the privilege she does have, much less show some of her own empathy toward posters like the one trying to hit at $300k… It all adds up to a very unsympathetic poster who frankly seems incredibly immature for a 50-year old.

A $300,000 home is for rich people in many parts of the country. Are you going to harass them for their privilege too?

We are talking about the DMV. It is very hard to find a house for $300k. There are far more houses for $1million. Does that really need to be spelled out for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was so close to buying in 2020 and 2021 and now those properties I could afford at 1.2 and 3% are at 1.7 and 6.8% and I am locked out of the UMC for the rest of my life. No equity here.

I've been having difficulty following the numbers in this thread so went back to the original post. I thought OP was being hyperbolic about the rate of price increases since 2021 (I am no longer in this area) but then I took a look at a current home listed in Arlington at $1.65M and was shocked to see that it sold for $870,000 in 2021. It's just one data point that may ultimately sell for less, and it looks as though the sellers did a fair amount of remodeling, but it's certainly an aggressive increase.

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Arlington/18-N-Garfield-St-22201/home/11256002

As a previous poster pointed out, a $1.2M budget at 3% interest translates with 20% down translates to about 5K/month PITI. At 6.8% interest, if OP still put $240K down (her 20% payment on the $1.2M house), she can afford up to a $900,000 home to maintain that $5K/month PITI.

So yeah, that's a massive swing in a short time, and a 4,000-square foot home in Arlington is now out of OP's reach. Frustrating of course, but timing is everything and sometimes we miss the boat. OP I hope you take a look at some of the less expensive options that have been presented to you, because $900K can still buy you a lovely home.

Yes, bottom line is OP can still afford a nice house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think some time away from this board might serve you well. This board can make people feel like failures if they can't afford a beautiful SFH in Bethesda or Chevy Chase. The truth is, most people can't. There are tons of people in a similar situation as you (including me) who are extremely frustrated right now by how dramatically housing prices have increased in the past few years as they were saving to buy for the first time or trade up. The only thing you can really do is figure out a path forward and try to stop thinking about what could have been. I am not that great at it myself, but I have reached a point of some peace with the situation and how to proceed moving forward. I can't say I don't think about what could have been, but I try not to obsess over it.

Thanks. I guess it’s hard because nearly everyone of my peers has what I always wanted and it’s constantly shoved in my and my kids’ faces and I feel like I have failed. I did fail.

Are you a real person? You failed because you don't own a $1.5M house in Bethesda? And how exactly is it shoved in your face? By the mere existence of your peers?

OP is a troll. The world she describes doesn’t exist. If OP were real she’d buy a house she can afford like every other homebuyer.

DP. I think everyone responding to OP like this a troll and a sociopath. So many posters on DCUM want houses of the same cost as what OP wants. They are desperate for them. They complain they are having a "freak out" over low inventory..OP is a person who saved for a long time for something she wants, and now can't have it. So many of us have been there. It's a horrible feeling. For us it was a house in a neighborhood where you could get a livable SFH for $500k in 2019. Same model house in worse condition worse lot, went for over $600k in 2021. We felt awful. We did end up compromising and getting a townhouse. We're very happy with our home now.

When close friends with more money had rough experiences 2022 to find their $900k and $2 million homes, did I say "stop complaining, you are so privileged, you can't possibly be real"? No, because I'm not a sociopath and am capable of empathy.

OP, just ignore these fools. They cannot possibly be real people.

OP is a single mom who says she could have afforded a $1.7M home by herself with 3% interest rates. The monthly payment for a house that expensive, even back then, was probably around $8,000-$10,000 a month. So OP is probably making around $300,000 or more to even think of that purchase.

So, to you, people are sociopaths because they’re a little taken aback that a rich lady, by any standard, is complaining that she can’t afford a $1.7M house anymore. Are you trolling as well? You don’t see the hubris it takes to fish for empathy from strangers when you’re such an incredibly privileged person because you can’t afford a $1.7M house anymore BY YOURSELF?!

Here’s a charming colonial in Bethesda for less than $900,000 with what appears to be a Wolf range. Maybe OP can “settle” and get a house like this, which is a nicer home than an overwhelming majority of people in this area can even think of affording with a partner, let alone by themselves, in an outstanding school district.

https://www.redfin.com/MD/Bethesda/5906-Roosevelt-St-20817/home/10662235


I

Wow, that’s a great house! And affordable for OP!

Ummm. It is in MD..not VA.

Did OP say she had to be in VA? She never told us where she was looking. Or her actual budget. Hard to give useful recommendations.

I would assume the person you're replying to is OP, given I don't believe VA was mentioned until now.

I think many of these OP defenders are actually OP..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think some time away from this board might serve you well. This board can make people feel like failures if they can't afford a beautiful SFH in Bethesda or Chevy Chase. The truth is, most people can't. There are tons of people in a similar situation as you (including me) who are extremely frustrated right now by how dramatically housing prices have increased in the past few years as they were saving to buy for the first time or trade up. The only thing you can really do is figure out a path forward and try to stop thinking about what could have been. I am not that great at it myself, but I have reached a point of some peace with the situation and how to proceed moving forward. I can't say I don't think about what could have been, but I try not to obsess over it.

Thanks. I guess it’s hard because nearly everyone of my peers has what I always wanted and it’s constantly shoved in my and my kids’ faces and I feel like I have failed. I did fail.

Are you a real person? You failed because you don't own a $1.5M house in Bethesda? And how exactly is it shoved in your face? By the mere existence of your peers?

OP is a troll. The world she describes doesn’t exist. If OP were real she’d buy a house she can afford like every other homebuyer.

DP. I think everyone responding to OP like this a troll and a sociopath. So many posters on DCUM want houses of the same cost as what OP wants. They are desperate for them. They complain they are having a "freak out" over low inventory..OP is a person who saved for a long time for something she wants, and now can't have it. So many of us have been there. It's a horrible feeling. For us it was a house in a neighborhood where you could get a livable SFH for $500k in 2019. Same model house in worse condition worse lot, went for over $600k in 2021. We felt awful. We did end up compromising and getting a townhouse. We're very happy with our home now.

When close friends with more money had rough experiences 2022 to find their $900k and $2 million homes, did I say "stop complaining, you are so privileged, you can't possibly be real"? No, because I'm not a sociopath and am capable of empathy.

OP, just ignore these fools. They cannot possibly be real people.

OP is a single mom who says she could have afforded a $1.7M home by herself with 3% interest rates. The monthly payment for a house that expensive, even back then, was probably around $8,000-$10,000 a month. So OP is probably making around $300,000 or more to even think of that purchase.

So, to you, people are sociopaths because they’re a little taken aback that a rich lady, by any standard, is complaining that she can’t afford a $1.7M house anymore. Are you trolling as well? You don’t see the hubris it takes to fish for empathy from strangers when you’re such an incredibly privileged person because you can’t afford a $1.7M house anymore BY YOURSELF?!

Here’s a charming colonial in Bethesda for less than $900,000 with what appears to be a Wolf range. Maybe OP can “settle” and get a house like this, which is a nicer home than an overwhelming majority of people in this area can even think of affording with a partner, let alone by themselves, in an outstanding school district.

https://www.redfin.com/MD/Bethesda/5906-Roosevelt-St-20817/home/10662235


I

Wow, that’s a great house! And affordable for OP!

Ummm. It is in MD..not VA.

Did OP say she had to be in VA? She never told us where she was looking. Or her actual budget. Hard to give useful recommendations.

I would assume the person you're replying to is OP, given I don't believe VA was mentioned until now.

I think many of these OP defenders are actually OP..

No. OP is not the only frustrated buyer. And some of you are suck jerks that you need to be addressed.