Toilet time
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Anonymous
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Okay, I know this is an odd/gross question, but how much time does your dh spend on the toilet and how many times/day?
My husband spends at least five hours a day on the toilet. Many days it is more; rarely, it is less. The only reason he comes out is to eat, sleep or go to work. Occasionally, if our daughter asks him to, he will come out. If there is something important that I need to discuss with him, I either have to discuss it through the bathroom door or stand next to him while he is on the toilet. There is nothing wrong with his bowels and he is not whacking off. I can hear him playing a game on his phone most of the time. The rest of the time he is reading. Most of what I see online is women complaining about their husbands taking 20-30 minutes. Does anyone else's husband spend this much time on the toilet? |
Anonymous
| Omg. That seems crazy! |
Anonymous
| Sounds like there is some deeper issue -- lack of privacy, need for personal space, unhappiness around others. |
Anonymous
| This is not a question for DCUM. This is a question for the couples counselor whom you should be seeing. |
Anonymous
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Your husband has huge issues.
Sometimes before we're leaving the house DH will run to use the bathroom first. He's in there for maybe two minutes? He does NOT camp out in the bathroom. |
Anonymous
| Oh, OP. This is really not within the range of normal. I can say that there are times (once every other month?) when I end up spending 30 minutes in the bathroom, because I start reading something and somehow just sit there and don't put it down. Otherwise, I'm pretty much in and out - only there for the time it takes to do business. My husband is mostly the same, but maybe spends a bit more time in there than I do - probably 20-30 minutes on the toilet at home per day, on average? I'm sorry you're dealing with this with your husband, truly. It's not typical. I do think this is an issue that very much requires therapy. |
Anonymous
| That is extreme. He needs to talk to someone. |
Anonymous
| Have you asked him in words of the English language (or your native tongue) why he spends all his time in the bathroom? |
Anonymous
| Troll |
Anonymous
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If he comes out when your daughter asks sometimes, it's because he does not need to be in there!
He's in there to be able to play and read without anyone interfering. He sounds like he prefers his personal space to being around you and your daughter. I agree that you guys need counseling. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thank you so much for your replies. To the person posting troll, I know this seems bizarre and next to impossible, but unfortunately it's true. He's in there right now at 7 in the morning, and has been for 45 minutes so far. I've heard other women complaining about husbands being in the bathroom, so I never thought much about it. It's really gotten excessive lately, so I googled it last night and saw most women complaining about 20-30 minutes; that's what prompted me to post here.
It was shocking to see how, without exception, this is so far beyond the realm of normal. I suppose not shocking; it's something in my heart I knew was true. To the person stating that he probably prefers the company of books and games to that of myself, it's what I've thought in the back of my mind for a long time.  It is probably also speaking to privacy/personal space issues like many of you stated. Counseling is likely in order, although it hurts to read it in black and white. Not the thought of counseling, but the thought that our marriage has gotten so far off track.
Thank you to all of you for taking the time to reply. |
Anonymous
+1 he's avoiding you |
Anonymous
| Yes, I see that very clearly now. |
Anonymous
| Text him a link to this post while he's on the potty. |
Anonymous
| Another vote for therapy now. |