Seriously considering going gray

[Anonymous]

Just do what makes you feel good about your appearance and don't worry about it. If you don't like the gray, dye it. Otherwise, go for it. (Also, it's important to remember - if you really ARE gray, then you don't 'look older'. You look like you. If other people think you are older than you really are, you can't do much about that. There is also your skin, clothes, attitude to consider - all of those things communicate your age. My 76-year-old mother dyes her hair but no one is going to think she is 45.

[Anonymous]

I am 55, almost 56, and have used the pandemic to let my hair go gray. Honestly, I haven't decided if I like it yet or not. I can always dye it again. I'm still trying to find the right style so I don't look too old. That said, I'm in my mid 50s and am tired of going to the salon every 5 weeks to color my hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just do what makes you feel good about your appearance and don't worry about it. If you don't like the gray, dye it. Otherwise, go for it. (Also, it's important to remember - if you really ARE gray, then you don't 'look older'. You look like you. If other people think you are older than you really are, you can't do much about that. There is also your skin, clothes, attitude to consider - all of those things communicate your age. My 76-year-old mother dyes her hair but no one is going to think she is 45.

I don’t agree - if you are mostly grey at 40 and someone sees you from a distance or the rear, they will assume you are 60. Close up, they will skew you closer to 50 versus if you otherwise look wel for your age and are still brunette, they may think you are in mid-late 30s.

Look, I am another 50-something who used the pandemic to grow in her grey and isn’t sure whether to keep it. But I know I look older with grey hair!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do what makes you feel good about your appearance and don't worry about it. If you don't like the gray, dye it. Otherwise, go for it. (Also, it's important to remember - if you really ARE gray, then you don't 'look older'. You look like you. If other people think you are older than you really are, you can't do much about that. There is also your skin, clothes, attitude to consider - all of those things communicate your age. My 76-year-old mother dyes her hair but no one is going to think she is 45.

I don’t agree - if you are mostly grey at 40 and someone sees you from a distance or the rear, they will assume you are 60. Close up, they will skew you closer to 50 versus if you otherwise look wel for your age and are still brunette, they may think you are in mid-late 30s.

Look, I am another 50-something who used the pandemic to grow in her grey and isn’t sure whether to keep it. But I know I look older with grey hair!

Disagree. I think it’s body posture that makes a person look “old” more than anything else. That kind of osteoporosis delicate-walking that old women get, that way of holding oneself with fragility? That screams old more than grey hair. I think the long-dyers are fooling themselves; when you hobble you could have the best, subtlest dye job and you still look old.

[Anonymous]

"My neighbor went gray and looks so much better! She was previously dying her hair black (probably close to her natural color) and her hair looked frizzy and fried and she just looked frumpy overall. Now her gray hair is shiny and has movement, and it just livens her up, I think. She really looks so much better."

Give us a break! No stylist in his or her right mind is dying someone's hair black, at least not by choice, because everyone knows that monotone black hair looks awful. People with common sense who color their hair as they age are using a blend of colors that gives a multidimensional effect. Think Nancy Pelosi. And gray hair in its natural state is almost always crooked and wire like. It's often yellow. Almost everybody needs to "color" it with a glaze and tone it with blue or purple to make it appear white or silver.

[Anonymous]

"But I honestly feel like natural hair is just gorgeous on someone who wears it with confidence."

If only that were true for the 99% of us for whom it's not. Some people look great chubby. Some people look great scrawny. Some look great with gray hair. The rest of us mere mortals need to do a lot of work to look great if we are chubby, scrawny, or gray.

All the confidence in the world isn't going to make frizzy crooked gray hair look sexy.