Blonde, Blue-Eyed White Women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has blue eyes & blonde hair and only POC have commented on this. I have always just assumed this is because her look is more novel to them. In my family, and where I grew up, being blonde, especially as a child, is pretty typical, so no one cares or maybe even notices?

The comments have always come from woman who say something pleasant to her or to me about her looks.

I also have a blue-eyed blond. We used to live in a majority Black neighborhood and now we live in a majority Dominican neighborhood. My daughter gets a lot of compliments from older ladies, which comes from a kind and friendly place, but I cringe when someone is going on about my child's eyes and hair, she looks like a little angel (she's a hellion), she looks like Elsa, while their own grandchild is standing right there.

Maybe suggest they read Toni Morrison novel The Bluest Eye (I think that's what it's called) and get woke.

[Anonymous]

Blonde, brown eyed, WASP woman here. I always thought women like Sade, Monica Belluci, Iman were gorgeous and sophisticated. Blondes of the 70s were trashy (Fawcett and Brinkley) and not WASP. I feel like it was young men who made them popular. The popularity of the trashy blondes was because they were approachable in men’s minds, like they could discuss the finer points of the A Team or some other tripe that men in their 20s like... unsophisticated things.

I feel like popular “hot girls” are way more diverse today because youth today are far more diverse.

[Anonymous]

And OP, I think ALL women feel stereotyped!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has blue eyes & blonde hair and only POC have commented on this. I have always just assumed this is because her look is more novel to them. In my family, and where I grew up, being blonde, especially as a child, is pretty typical, so no one cares or maybe even notices?

The comments have always come from woman who say something pleasant to her or to me about her looks.

I also have a blue-eyed blond. We used to live in a majority Black neighborhood and now we live in a majority Dominican neighborhood. My daughter gets a lot of compliments from older ladies, which comes from a kind and friendly place, but I cringe when someone is going on about my child's eyes and hair, she looks like a little angel (she's a hellion), she looks like Elsa, while their own grandchild is standing right there.

Maybe suggest they read Toni Morrison novel The Bluest Eye (I think that's what it's called) and get woke.

If you can't remember the title, perhaps you should read the book and also know of what you speak. Had you read the book, you'd know what it is about and you wouldn't be unsure of the title.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has blue eyes & blonde hair and only POC have commented on this. I have always just assumed this is because her look is more novel to them. In my family, and where I grew up, being blonde, especially as a child, is pretty typical, so no one cares or maybe even notices?

The comments have always come from woman who say something pleasant to her or to me about her looks.

I also have a blue-eyed blond. We used to live in a majority Black neighborhood and now we live in a majority Dominican neighborhood. My daughter gets a lot of compliments from older ladies, which comes from a kind and friendly place, but I cringe when someone is going on about my child's eyes and hair, she looks like a little angel (she's a hellion), she looks like Elsa, while their own grandchild is standing right there.

We have four kids. The older three have dark hair, super dark eyes, and a perpetual sun kissed dark tan complexion. Our youngest has blues eyes and blonde hair, and he frequently draws looks and compliments—especially when we travel to Spanish speaking countries or the Caribbean. It’s the novelty of looking different. That’s all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am in my late fifties, so, I grew up surrounded by media: print, ads, tv, etc. presenting the ideal woman as a blonde like Christie Brinkley or Farrah Fawcett. Articles in all types of magazines would always mention blondes as the de facto vision of a beautiful woman. Children were described as tow-headed in a beatific angels sort of way. Specifically, I am talking about white women with fine, Nordic features. I realize anyone can have highlighted hair, but I am referencing women that look like they may have been blonde as a child.

I am white, but as an Italian brunette that looks Mediterranean, I have never really felt that I fit in with the US standards of beauty. There are obviously more inclusive and diverse representations of beauty now, but I wonder if blondes feel something like backlash? If you’re a blonde woman, do you ever feel sort of targeted and stereotyped as an entitled UMC athleisure- clad woman, mean-girl cheerleader, or Fox News anchor? Do you feel like women of color dislike you or feel uncomfortable in your presence? Do you feel like you need to signal that you’re an ally and wonder if it appears awkward?

Slightly off-topic, but I think the Kardashians are popular because of young women who look a little like me in my 20s. For all their plasticine parts and appropriating AA beauty, it is still an aspirational look that is at least partially achievable by a lot of Latina, biracial, etc., women. They have zero chance of looking like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Doesn’t it seem like every thread on how to look like a wealthy wasp is just code for white blonde coveting? I am also curious to hear from non-white women about your own internalized messages. I hate the fact that I secretly hope my daughter marries someone less “ethnic” looking than myself.

Um, no? This sounds like weird striver shit. I am a naturally blonde haired blue eyed WASP and this has never crossed my mind. I support a broad range of beauty. You should work on the fact "your people" climbed towards white holding down others in their past and hoping you can whiten your bloodline. That's some pretty internalized racism.

Hope you and the OP from the "Salma Hayak's not brown enough" thread can get together to judge women whose life experiences you know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am in my late fifties, so, I grew up surrounded by media: print, ads, tv, etc. presenting the ideal woman as a blonde like Christie Brinkley or Farrah Fawcett. Articles in all types of magazines would always mention blondes as the de facto vision of a beautiful woman. Children were described as tow-headed in a beatific angels sort of way. Specifically, I am talking about white women with fine, Nordic features. I realize anyone can have highlighted hair, but I am referencing women that look like they may have been blonde as a child.

I am white, but as an Italian brunette that looks Mediterranean, I have never really felt that I fit in with the US standards of beauty. There are obviously more inclusive and diverse representations of beauty now, but I wonder if blondes feel something like backlash? If you’re a blonde woman, do you ever feel sort of targeted and stereotyped as an entitled UMC athleisure- clad woman, mean-girl cheerleader, or Fox News anchor? Do you feel like women of color dislike you or feel uncomfortable in your presence? Do you feel like you need to signal that you’re an ally and wonder if it appears awkward?

Slightly off-topic, but I think the Kardashians are popular because of young women who look a little like me in my 20s. For all their plasticine parts and appropriating AA beauty, it is still an aspirational look that is at least partially achievable by a lot of Latina, biracial, etc., women. They have zero chance of looking like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Doesn’t it seem like every thread on how to look like a wealthy wasp is just code for white blonde coveting? I am also curious to hear from non-white women about your own internalized messages. I hate the fact that I secretly hope my daughter marries someone less “ethnic” looking than myself.

It is very very rare to see a blonde blue eyed (not bimbo) women advertised as beautiful. They are all dark haired brown eyes. Seriously look at the media. It is VERY rare to see a NON BIMBO blonde advertising anything beautiful.

Non-bimbo-y women like this get the opposite: Ice Queens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Asian. Still waiting to be “on trend”.

The trend is gender ambiguity, and thin, a la BTS

[Anonymous]

I am not blond but never felt any pressure to look like a blond haired blue eyed anything. Was not influenced by magazines or Barbie. It’s overblown B.S.

[Anonymous]

I’m going to disagree with posters up thread — I’ve been blonde and brunette, and get no more or less compliments with either one. You know what gets me compliments? Red hair. And I think the reason is what others have noted- people like novelty and they praise things that are different. So when my hair is red (it looks pretty natural on me) people are more interested in my specialness. Being a brunette isn’t special. Neither is being a bottle blonde.

So if people praise natural blonde, blue-eyed people, sure, there is probably some latent racism there. But I tend to think that at this point, it’s just people being interested in this somewhat rare recessive trait (at least blue eyes are recessive like red hair, not sure about blonde ness). That’s my experience with having red hair— people assume you have this trait that is getting less and less common and that’s appealing.

[Anonymous]

I am 50 and I have luscious brown hair that is long. I also have brown eyes. I have a beautiful hair color and beautiful eye color.

People stare at me all the time. People used to stare at me when I was 20, 30, 40. Here in the U.S.

Two years ago I was in Rome, eyes were turning wherever I walked. My then 17-year-old DD turned eyes left and right too. She participated in a Dolce Vita event on Via Veneto.

I dare you to tell me I am not a standard of beauty. Your green-eyed monster can be nothing but scared of my confidence in my mind and my looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Asian. Still waiting to be “on trend”.

Oh, you have been with a subset of white men for QUITE some time! They love nothing more than telling their blonde haired, blue eyed friends and family how totally inferior they are to you in every imaginable way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blonde, brown eyed, WASP woman here. I always thought women like Sade, Monica Belluci, Iman were gorgeous and sophisticated. Blondes of the 70s were trashy (Fawcett and Brinkley) and not WASP. I feel like it was young men who made them popular. The popularity of the trashy blondes was because they were approachable in men’s minds, like they could discuss the finer points of the A Team or some other tripe that men in their 20s like... unsophisticated things.

I feel like popular “hot girls” are way more diverse today because youth today are far more diverse.

People who use the term “trashy” to describe others are...not particularly high-value individuals themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Asian. Still waiting to be “on trend”.

Oh, you have been with a subset of white men for QUITE some time! They love nothing more than telling their blonde haired, blue eyed friends and family how totally inferior they are to you in every imaginable way.

Yeah, but those are pervy fetishers, not quality men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blonde, brown eyed, WASP woman here. I always thought women like Sade, Monica Belluci, Iman were gorgeous and sophisticated. Blondes of the 70s were trashy (Fawcett and Brinkley) and not WASP. I feel like it was young men who made them popular. The popularity of the trashy blondes was because they were approachable in men’s minds, like they could discuss the finer points of the A Team or some other tripe that men in their 20s like... unsophisticated things.

I feel like popular “hot girls” are way more diverse today because youth today are far more diverse.

People who use the term “trashy” to describe others are...not particularly high-value individuals themselves.

Oh ok. I never claimed to be high value. You’re too sensitive for this world.