What’s your motivation for working if you can afford not to?

[Anonymous]

I never, ever, want to be financially dependent on another person. This is not just a divorce issue but a health issue. My father was the sole earner until he became ill, and my mother had to reenter the workforce. It was traumatic, to say the least, and required a lot of sacrifices. It all could have been avoided if she was not a SAHM. Your ability to reenter the workforce would be easier of course with being out for less time, but I would not underestimate the difficulty of getting back in.

Other than that, I want to use my degrees, I like what I do and want that adult interaction and challenge, and I find personal fulfillment from working.

[Anonymous]

I worked too hard in school to waste my degrees.

I need intellectual stimulation.

I find my job fulfilling.

I think my daughter benefits from preschool, so I wouldn't keep her home if I stayed at home, making it really pointless.

My husband doesn't deserve the stress of being the primary wage earner, especially in such an expensive area.

I don't want to be financially dependent on someone else.

[Anonymous]

I spent 5 years at home following the birth of my 3rd kid.
I've now been back working for 6. I make 1/5th of my husband's income.

I need the structure of work. I got borderline depressed when I was home full time. I socialized like mad and volunteered but the days still stretched on, one after another and I
wondered what my purpose was.
Working has it's down sides for sure but for me it's the lesser of two evils.

[Anonymous]

I have not read the thread but honestly I've been blessed and always loved my jobs and going to work. I think the key thing
is finding a career path that you enjoy and then it is never work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent 5 years at home following the birth of my 3rd kid.
I've now been back working for 6. I make 1/5th of my husband's income.

I need the structure of work. I got borderline depressed when I was home full time. I socialized like mad and volunteered but the days still stretched on, one after another and I
wondered what my purpose was.
Working has it's down sides for sure but for me it's the lesser of two evils.

NP here. Thank you for posting this. I have 3 kids and youngest is almost 3. I feel like I am lacking purpose. DH earns a very high income and we often say it isn’t worth it for me to work. Vacation time being a problem. I’m not sure I can go back to having 3-4 weeks per year when we just go away on a whim anytime we want.

I would probably earn 1/20 what DH earns. I can’t lean on him at all. I stopped working because I was responsible for all drop offs, pick ups, extracurriculars, sick and snow days and that was challenging when we had just 2 kids. I also let myself go and got chubby. Now I am back to a size 2 and the fittest I have ever been. I’m not sure if I can be that working mom always rushing with no time to myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent 5 years at home following the birth of my 3rd kid.
I've now been back working for 6. I make 1/5th of my husband's income.

I need the structure of work. I got borderline depressed when I was home full time. I socialized like mad and volunteered but the days still stretched on, one after another and I
wondered what my purpose was.
Working has it's down sides for sure but for me it's the lesser of two evils.

NP here. Thank you for posting this. I have 3 kids and youngest is almost 3. I feel like I am lacking purpose. DH earns a very high income and we often say it isn’t worth it for me to work. Vacation time being a problem. I’m not sure I can go back to having 3-4 weeks per year when we just go away on a whim anytime we want.

I would probably earn 1/20 what DH earns. I can’t lean on him at all. I stopped working because I was responsible for all drop offs, pick ups, extracurriculars, sick and snow days and that was challenging when we had just 2 kids. I also let myself go and got chubby. Now I am back to a size 2 and the fittest I have ever been. I’m not sure if I can be that working mom always rushing with no time to myself.

Ok, so this thread’s not for you.

That’s not how all working women are, but you do you!

[Anonymous]

I’m also wondering OP’s question. I recently went back to a full-time job and it coincided with several health crises and extended family issues. Everyone including me would be much better off if I could just stay home and deal with those crises. I’m not sure my own resume or fulfillment justifies this chaos.

[Anonymous]

I would kill myself if I stayed home all day with my kids. I am not cut out to be a SAHM at ALL.

Plus I love my job. I love my company, my coworkers, my job, all of it.

Lastly, it's less expensive for me to get health insurance for the family than it would be for my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To afford my horses. —DCUM horse girl

Me, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intellectual stimulation, social interaction, serving an underprivileged population and using an education that took many years to complete. Oh and being a role model to my daughters!

So paid work = being a role model?

Yes

[Anonymous]

A few years ago I watched a friend of the family heartlessly dump his wife of 20 years for his mistress. Wife had never worked, married him straight out of college. Now she's having to work as a secretary somewhere and solo parent 4 kids while he jetsets with his girlfriend. It was a huge shock - he seemed like such an upstanding guy, they were a very affectionate, lovey-dovey couple, and she was and still is very attractive and well maintained.

I'm not going to let myself depend on someone, ever. Of course we all think our husbands would NEVER... But on the off chance he does bail, I know I'm going to land on my feet.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 sons. I hate that in our society it is compulsory for men to work but optional for women. I work to set the expectation that it is not optional for anyone - man or woman. I don't need to work in the sense that we don't need the income, and it is a bigger hassle for me to be in work - childcare, pickups, drop-offs, dinners, etc. But I work bc it has never crossed DHs mind to not work.

I joke that I will cut-off any son whose partner does not work, and I'm being sort of serious!

[Anonymous]

I work part time, less than 15 hours a week. But I do it to keep my foot in the door, to have intellectual stimulation, and to have social interactions. We save the money I make for travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 sons. I hate that in our society it is compulsory for men to work but optional for women. I work to set the expectation that it is not optional for anyone - man or woman. I don't need to work in the sense that we don't need the income, and it is a bigger hassle for me to be in work - childcare, pickups, drop-offs, dinners, etc. But I work bc it has never crossed DHs mind to not work.

I joke that I will cut-off any son whose partner does not work, and I'm being sort of serious!

I’m another mother of boys who totally agrees with you. It’s so important for boys to see their mother working. Not only that but men with working mothers are proven to be better partners. I’ll take it.

[Anonymous]

Thank you PP! That's exactly why I work - to model a working woman to my sons, quite apart from the fact that I am well compensated, get to use my education, and generally have a good/satisfying job.