Parents who are home by 5-6pm from work - what do you do?

[Anonymous]

OP here - interesting responses. DH is in big law and obviously makes a lot of money ($400K) but works a lot.

My sister and her husband both work long crazy hours, although someone is usually home at night with the kids. My BIL travels (IT sales) usually 3-4 days a week and my sister drives A LOT (also IT sales) 1-3 times a week. They have a 5 and 7 year old and will probably have a full time nanny until their oldest can stay home by herself and reasonably watch the younger one. But they both make a lot of money (HHI around $700k).

I work from home and have very normal hours (8:30-5pm) but I make very little ($65K).

[Anonymous]

My DH and I both have senior positions at nonprofits. We set our own hours and work a lot at night/from home/on weekends. Right now he's typically in the office 730-4pm; I go in most days from 930-430pm but we both adjust as needed. We live very close in to minimize the commute and try to avoid height of rush hour travel. I've worked in industry & government and have turned down multiple opportunities to go back (and make more money/enhance my stature) because this is such an optimal work-life balance with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - interesting responses. DH is in big law and obviously makes a lot of money ($400K) but works a lot.

My sister and her husband both work long crazy hours, although someone is usually home at night with the kids. My BIL travels (IT sales) usually 3-4 days a week and my sister drives A LOT (also IT sales) 1-3 times a week. They have a 5 and 7 year old and will probably have a full time nanny until their oldest can stay home by herself and reasonably watch the younger one. But they both make a lot of money (HHI around $700k).

I work from home and have very normal hours (8:30-5pm) but I make very little ($65K).

It is probable that your kids grow happier than the kids watched by full time nannies.

[Anonymous]

Before we had kids we decided to live in DC and have jobs in DC or with short reverse commutes (think close-in/close-to-metro Arlington or Bethesda).

[Anonymous]

non supervisory GS-15, gets to work at 0630-0700. Leaves 3-330pm. 15 minute drive in AM, 25 min PM. DW is a FTM, but going back part time next year teaching pre-K 3 mornings per week. Gives her time to volunteer at elementary school and also be home when kids get home. Kids like that stuff.

Many summer days I get home and we all head to the neighborhood pool and bring dinner with us.

If you're waiting for weekends to do fun stuff and enjoy time with family, you're wasting 5/7 of your life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer at a trade association. My core hours are 8-5pm. 15-minute commute home. DH usually leaves at 7 and gets home at 7:30.

Same here - lawyer at trade association 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. with 30-minute commute. Spouse works 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Many kids in many sports - so works well for carpools and life.
Average about $400K per year, with no debt, so actually enjoying life in our late 40s.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm a fed and I work from home 4 days a week. The day I'm in the office is short- I'm done by noon. I work 6:45am and end either at 4:15pm or 3:15pm, depending on the day. My kids' school gets out at 4:05pm and they have patrol duties so I'm definitely done with work by the time they walk home. The day I go into the office, my fed husband usually teleworks. He's a fed director and is home around 5:15pm each day, depending on traffic. We live in Springfield, VA so the commute can be bad.

The trade off is that while our double fed income is healthy, it is nowhere near yours, so...

[Anonymous]

DH is home by 5. He’s a software developer/data guy in govcon. As a government contractor, his work week has a hard cap at 40 hours, and his work is cleared— he can’t do it from home. Occasionally if he’s working on a certification/training course, he’ll do that from home at night.

I work for a government contractor, but on the corporate side— I’m in talent acquisition. I get home sometime between 515-600, and frequently work from home after the kids go to bed.

We both have 10-15 minute commutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh is home by 6pm usually. But he leaves for work at 6:00am, so it’s not like it’s a short day.

This. I am in the office no later than 7, and often earlier. Generally home by 6:30, though not always. My commute is 15 minutes in the morning, and 25-30 in the evening.

OP, what time does your husband get into the office?

Op here - This morning dh left by 6:15 to get into the office by 6:45 and beat rush hour. On slow days he leaves around 7ish.

I'm not sure why you think 12 hour work days are the norm. OP, many many many people have jobs that do not involve 12 hour work days. I do not make $500k a year either. But I do get to see my kids at 4pm every day. I work 7:30am-3:30pm.

Do you know what biglaw is, OP? Do you work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh is home by 6pm usually. But he leaves for work at 6:00am, so it’s not like it’s a short day.

This. I am in the office no later than 7, and often earlier. Generally home by 6:30, though not always. My commute is 15 minutes in the morning, and 25-30 in the evening.

OP, what time does your husband get into the office?

Op here - This morning dh left by 6:15 to get into the office by 6:45 and beat rush hour. On slow days he leaves around 7ish.

I'm not sure why you think 12 hour work days are the norm. OP, many many many people have jobs that do not involve 12 hour work days. I do not make $500k a year either. But I do get to see my kids at 4pm every day. I work 7:30am-3:30pm.

What does he do?

DH works from home and makes $230K plus stock.

VP at a tech startup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh is home by 6pm usually. But he leaves for work at 6:00am, so it’s not like it’s a short day.

This. I am in the office no later than 7, and often earlier. Generally home by 6:30, though not always. My commute is 15 minutes in the morning, and 25-30 in the evening.

OP, what time does your husband get into the office?

Op here - This morning dh left by 6:15 to get into the office by 6:45 and beat rush hour. On slow days he leaves around 7ish.

I'm not sure why you think 12 hour work days are the norm. OP, many many many people have jobs that do not involve 12 hour work days. I do not make $500k a year either. But I do get to see my kids at 4pm every day. I work 7:30am-3:30pm.

Do you know what biglaw is, OP? Do you work?

OP here - yes of course I know what biglaw is. I was just making a comment about how surprised I am to see both spouses who make it home by 5:30-6pm every day! I do work but I work from home. We have 2 kids and another on the way.

[Anonymous]

Stop working long hours to impress other people, especially if you have kids.

[Anonymous]

DH is a fed. He leaves home around 530, gets in around 630, leaves 230/3 and is home 345/4.

[Anonymous]

Fed. I live and work in the same area and my DC goes to school nearby. I leave work at 5:30 or 6. Get home half an hour later when I do school pick up. I orchestrated my life this way because I was tired of losing time and being stressed out doing long metro commutes. It's made my relationship with my kids SO much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh is home by 6pm usually. But he leaves for work at 6:00am, so it’s not like it’s a short day.

This. I am in the office no later than 7, and often earlier. Generally home by 6:30, though not always. My commute is 15 minutes in the morning, and 25-30 in the evening.

OP, what time does your husband get into the office?

Op here - This morning dh left by 6:15 to get into the office by 6:45 and beat rush hour. On slow days he leaves around 7ish.

I'm not sure why you think 12 hour work days are the norm. OP, many many many people have jobs that do not involve 12 hour work days. I do not make $500k a year either. But I do get to see my kids at 4pm every day. I work 7:30am-3:30pm.

Do you know what biglaw is, OP? Do you work?

OP here - yes of course I know what biglaw is. I was just making a comment about how surprised I am to see both spouses who make it home by 5:30-6pm every day! I do work but I work from home. We have 2 kids and another on the way.

But the long hours are the CARDINAL tenet of biglaw, especially for associates. I don't know why that would surprise you. Most jobs are not that way - ie your situation is the exception, not the norm.