Argue for or against this theory, if you have 2 children

[Anonymous]

Mom of 2 teens, 9ne boy one girl. I grew up with one sister. I always wanted one boy one girl.

Now I wish I had 2 boys. I love DD, but the drama! Can't stand it.

[Anonymous]

I'm so grateful to have one of each. My kids are 7 and 9 (boy). But i will say, I think it would be hella easier having same gender. I think I'm luckier that I have one of each but I do agree that as they get older as mine have, 2 of same gender can be great - if I was them I would love the same gender sibling. Also, I would love that if I did hand me down clothing as so dresses/shoes of DD may get worn just a few times, the activities would be a lot easier since my kids are all boy and all girl, entertainment as in movies would be easier too.. some of it is simply personality - they are just very boy and very girl so they don't like any of the same things. They get along and fight and what not but I can see that if they were the same gender, they would have even more fun FWIW I am an only child and my husband has an older brother. In a truly ideal world, I'd have 4 kids, 2 pair of each gender LOL

I have friends that have 3 of the same gender. They say they are happy but I also know they had the 3rd to try to get the other gender they don't have. Of course they accept once they don't get what they want but I think that all in all, having 1 of each is a parent's dream. I get that you love your kids no matter what but practically speaking, yeah, why wouldn't you want the experience of having a boy and a girl. So it works out any which way I suppose!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because this is DCUM others will weigh in , but meant for parents of two.

A group of friends is debating a theory. Weigh in?

Parents of tiny children (pregnant; toddler age) want one of each. Parents of older kids (elementary and up) prefer same sex siblings. Same for the siblings - each gender prefers its own.

This is confusing. So are you saying that some parents of a boy and girl say they rather have same sex kids?
I have a boy and girl (both elem) and wouldn't have it any other way. If I would have boy/boy or girl/girl I'm sure I'd be thrilled with that duo too. I think this is a flawed debate.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on if the parents want to have a girl or a boy - mh wanted a boy, and I always imagined having a daughter. Even though we were fine regardless, I think we are both relieved we have one of each. Granted, when my daughter was born, I did have a wave of sadness that it wasn't another boy and they weren't going to be brothers and that dynamic. I'm pregnant again and I truly do not care, I think it'd probably be different if we had 2 boys or girls though - at least the comments from other people would drive me insane assuming we were going for a three to get a boy or a girl.

[Anonymous]

I have one opposite gender sibling and we are close. I wanted 3-4 kids. Ater #1 was a girl (very happy) I hoped #2 would be as well (she was.) After girls though I decided I did not want a boy and we stopped there.

[Anonymous]

I’ll be happy with whatever #2 is, but my preference is two of the same (while DH wants one of each). I don’t even think it’s about clothing or activities or entertainment for the next 18 years.

I think lifelong – KNOWING there are NO guarantees – there is a greater chance that 2 brothers or 2 sisters remain close than a brother/sister.
I just think that 2 brothers or 2 sisters IF THEY WANT TO, can retain a closeness regardless of how their own nuclear families turn out. 2 brothers can hit up a bar and get drinks regularly if they make their lives nearby to each other or if they don’t they can go away on a yearly fishing trip, regardless of whether they are married/single or whether either wife has any interest in a relationship with our side of the family; and they can do this without making waves bc likely the wife doesn’t want to go fishing so if he wants to go with his brother, great. Same thing with 2 sisters – they can hit up a mall or a girls trip, whether or not the brothers in law like each other or have one thing in common or not. With a brother-sister, it gets more complicated. In order to be “friends” on a deeper level, there’s going to be some expectation that their families get along and have some interest in hanging out and that’s a roll of the dice; a brother and sister can’t or won’t just have a yearly standing trip together without raising some eyebrows including with their own spouses.

If all turns out right, of course siblings will be there for each other when shit hits the fan –brothers and sisters. But sometimes it’s not about shit hitting the fan, it’s just about life being meh – those stretches that are lonely or stressful and you need to be around someone who has known you forever; in those instances a guy goes to a brother more easily than a sister; and a woman goes to a sister more easily than a brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most women want at least one girl and most men want at least one son.

I do agree that same sex siblings tend to be better friends. I would have loved two girls and I think dh wouldn’t have minded two boys.

I know lots of women who want boys only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, always wanted two boys.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so grateful to have one of each. My kids are 7 and 9 (boy). But i will say, I think it would be hella easier having same gender. I think I'm luckier that I have one of each but I do agree that as they get older as mine have, 2 of same gender can be great - if I was them I would love the same gender sibling. Also, I would love that if I did hand me down clothing as so dresses/shoes of DD may get worn just a few times, the activities would be a lot easier since my kids are all boy and all girl, entertainment as in movies would be easier too.. some of it is simply personality - they are just very boy and very girl so they don't like any of the same things. They get along and fight and what not but I can see that if they were the same gender, they would have even more fun FWIW I am an only child and my husband has an older brother. In a truly ideal world, I'd have 4 kids, 2 pair of each gender LOL

I have friends that have 3 of the same gender. They say they are happy but I also know they had the 3rd to try to get the other gender they don't have. Of course they accept once they don't get what they want but I think that all in all, having 1 of each is a parent's dream. I get that you love your kids no matter what but practically speaking, yeah, why wouldn't you want the experience of having a boy and a girl. So it works out any which way I suppose!

I truly never wanted a girl. I don't really like girly things or girly play. I don't like how vain girls are. The mood swings...
They worry of if they will be ugly.

[Anonymous]

Most kids prefer a same sex sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because this is DCUM others will weigh in , but meant for parents of two.

A group of friends is debating a theory. Weigh in?

Parents of tiny children (pregnant; toddler age) want one of each. Parents of older kids (elementary and up) prefer same sex siblings. Same for the siblings - each gender prefers its own.

This is confusing. So are you saying that some parents of a boy and girl say they rather have same sex kids?
I have a boy and girl (both elem) and wouldn't have it any other way. If I would have boy/boy or girl/girl I'm sure I'd be thrilled with that duo too. I think this is a flawed debate.

The idea is that people think they want one of each on paper but in reality it’s easier / better / whatever if they’re the same gender and it takes time to realize that (because babies/toddlers don’t suffer much wrt gender.) not arguing for or against but I understand the theory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because this is DCUM others will weigh in , but meant for parents of two.

A group of friends is debating a theory. Weigh in?

Parents of tiny children (pregnant; toddler age) want one of each. Parents of older kids (elementary and up) prefer same sex siblings. Same for the siblings - each gender prefers its own.

This is confusing. So are you saying that some parents of a boy and girl say they rather have same sex kids?
I have a boy and girl (both elem) and wouldn't have it any other way. If I would have boy/boy or girl/girl I'm sure I'd be thrilled with that duo too. I think this is a flawed debate.

The idea is that people think they want one of each on paper but in reality it’s easier / better / whatever if they’re the same gender and it takes time to realize that (because babies/toddlers don’t suffer much wrt gender.) not arguing for or against but I understand the theory.

Differ not suffer LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because this is DCUM others will weigh in , but meant for parents of two.

A group of friends is debating a theory. Weigh in?

Parents of tiny children (pregnant; toddler age) want one of each. Parents of older kids (elementary and up) prefer same sex siblings. Same for the siblings - each gender prefers its own.

I always thought I would have one of each - I wanted a girl first and a boy second, just like me and my brother. I admit to a little twinge of disappointment when I found out I was having a second girl, but mainly because the sisters I knew (my cousins) really disliked each other as adults. But it had taken me a year to get pregnant, so I was pretty happy to be pregnant - I was 37.

Then the pregnancy became high-risk and life-threatening for both of us. I literally have never given it another thought.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t have a preference. I have one of each and am so glad that I do. They are in elementary school and never once have I wished I had two of the same sex and my kids would not trade each other for same sex siblings for anything. They are best buddies.

[Anonymous]

I have one of each (9 year old boy and 11 year old girl) and they say they want a sibling of the same sex. Now whether they would actually trade the other in if they had a choice is a good question! They couldn't be more dissimilar so at times, I wonder if having same sex siblings would be easier, but that assumes the same sex sibling would have the same personality/likes, which is a big assumption.