unplanned pregnancy - fourth kid potentially - impact on marriage/relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how is your marriage now?

+1. The fact that you are asking makes me think not great.
If the priority is to keep the family unit together another kid and baby in the mix is a terrible idea.
But you know that already.

[Anonymous]

OP how old are you.

[Anonymous]

OP have the baby.
I am one of six and I treasure each of my siblings... Your children will welcome the new one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unplanned as in birth control failure or unplanned as in you were being careless?

NP

Unplanned as in unplanned. It makes no difference.

This.

[Anonymous]

NP here.

I agree with the poster that said you sounds really conflicted. I would tread very carefully because it's not a reversible decision.

I am pro-choice and have supported friends through their abortion/terminations. I have not been faced with an unplanned pregnancy myself, but I'm not sure i could terminate in this situation. I had a life-threatening second pregnancy (and got my tubes tied), but I'm still not sure I could terminate in this situation.

I think both choices are legitimate and understandable. And you aren't required to keep your emotions entirely out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unplanned as in birth control failure or unplanned as in you were being careless?

NP

Unplanned as in unplanned. It makes no difference.

This.

Actually it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here / the first two kids were from my first marriage - this third and now maybe fourth the my second marriage - so it is blended family - all are doing well so far and I just wonder about the complexity —- I am still nursing the youngest so haven’t had much recovery time and babies would be very close together in age ...

Goodness. You don’t slow down do you ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unplanned as in birth control failure or unplanned as in you were being careless?

NP

Unplanned as in unplanned. It makes no difference.

This.

Actually it does.

It does because it's messed up to try to have a baby in a rocky marriage.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have been in this position in the first place. I have one and our max is two. The lifestyle is so much better with less kids. We like to travel the world so without being very wealthy that would never happen with 3 or 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here / the first two kids were from my first marriage - this third and now maybe fourth the my second marriage - so it is blended family - all are doing well so far and I just wonder about the complexity —- I am still nursing the youngest so haven’t had much recovery time and babies would be very close together in age ...

Goodness. You don’t slow down do you ..

Yeah wow. A bit of a trainwreck I'd say...definitely don't do it OP. If this marriage doesn't work out either you're a single Mom of 4.

[Anonymous]

We had an unplanned 4th pregnancy. We thought we were done at 3, 3rd was only 6 months old when I learned I was pregnant. I wasn't sure we could handle the finances and that I would be able to continue working FT. I went to my OB's office and confirmed I was pregnant.

I did my research to find a place that would do abortions and scheduled the abortion. DH was supportive either way. I wasn't sure I could do it - I am very pro-life.

I had a miscarriage 2 days before my scheduled abortion. I was relieved to not be pregnant and to not have had to have an abortion.

Nine months later we got pregnant by choice. We now have 4 kids. Money was tight that first year, but we are ok now (almost 2 years out). I have found a balance. My youngest has special needs, but it has brought our family closer together.

You will make the right decision. I will be praying for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here / the first two kids were from my first marriage - this third and now maybe fourth the my second marriage - so it is blended family - all are doing well so far and I just wonder about the complexity —- I am still nursing the youngest so haven’t had much recovery time and babies would be very close together in age ...

Goodness. You don’t slow down do you ..

Yeah wow. A bit of a trainwreck I'd say...definitely don't do it OP. If this marriage doesn't work out either you're a single Mom of 4.

[phone].
You left out these details. This is pretty critical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoa four kids sounds insane. Just as one example unless one of you is a SAHP you are probably spending at least $4K per month on daycare unless you spaced them out a lot. I bet you have almost no free time with 3 kids...four...goodness.

Strange post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had an unplanned 4th pregnancy. We thought we were done at 3, 3rd was only 6 months old when I learned I was pregnant. I wasn't sure we could handle the finances and that I would be able to continue working FT. I went to my OB's office and confirmed I was pregnant.

I did my research to find a place that would do abortions and scheduled the abortion. DH was supportive either way. I wasn't sure I could do it - I am very pro-life.

I had a miscarriage 2 days before my scheduled abortion. I was relieved to not be pregnant and to not have had to have an abortion.

Nine months later we got pregnant by choice. We now have 4 kids. Money was tight that first year, but we are ok now (almost 2 years out). I have found a balance. My youngest has special needs, but it has brought our family closer together.

You will make the right decision. I will be praying for you and your family.

OK, THIS I don't get. I'm the poster who said I had an abortion and regretted it despite being pro-choice, which I really am, by the way. Each situation and person is different. It is a choice; Pro-choice isn't pro-abortion. I let others make their choices. A woman has the right to be pro-life for herself, as well. But I don't understand being pro-life, like the above poster, and choosing to have an abortion? That is completely hypocritical.

And yes, WE chose to have an abortion, but I should have made the decision not to. I've come to terms with it after a number of years. But at the time I was pressured by my husbands needs/wishes, and I wish I hadn't been.

[Anonymous]

I am pro choice but I would go through with the pregnancy