career or home school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for replies. Yes, I don’t want to waste my kids time. I will consider private, but it’s not even about school quality, but that I feel I don’t want them not going at their pace,faster or slower, which is what any school requires.

Curriculum differentiation is available in different ways at many kinds of schools -- public, private, and charter. From the way you are talking about his on such sweeping levels of generality, I sense that you haven't explored in detail how the schools available to you manage this. Most states have GAL or GT programs in public school, so that even if the teacher/student ratio is higher they will get enriched curriculum and pullout according to their level. How much have you actually researched in your area?

Also, I would say that 70% of what kids get from school is not the academics but social-emotional growth. The academic material from say, one school year of math, is such that a bright child could cover it in four weekends. That doesn't mean there isn't any point to having them sit in a classroom. If the teachers are halfway decent, they also know how to use a spiraling curriculum to allow for greater depth on the same topics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for replies. Yes, I don’t want to waste my kids time. I will consider private, but it’s not even about school quality, but that I feel I don’t want them not going at their pace,faster or slower, which is what any school requires.

Will you consider moving? That really is easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in an amazing point of opportunity in my career, and have two young kids. Really have a chance to excel within my organization, but it's not like, a passion, I guess. But I think I could do a better job raising my kids than anyone else, and don't believe the education they'd get at public school would be good quality, and private school is very expensive and still probably not as good as home schooling if I devote all my energy into my kids instead of my high demanding job. But giving up my salary would mean a significant impact on our quality of life/what we could save. We'd be able to do it, but without my 100K incomes, we'd be making about 140k (this includes rental income). How to make this decision? Nothing more important to invest in than my kids, right?

I'm in education. It's incredibly hard for any one person, no matter how talented to replicate what a school does. A school allows your children to establish relationships with a large group of diverse peers. To learn how to build on others' ideas, negotiate, discuss, debate, and communicate to people who may not see eye to eye with you. To work with various adult role models, who model different ways of being in the world -- different modes of coping with problems and life situations. Homeschooling means limiting your children to your own perspective on things (supplemented occasionally by various outings and classes, which don't substitute for the kinds of relationships they would have in school. It also risks depriving them of finding a peer group to which they belong. For elementary aged students, belonging to a community beyond the family is a very important step of development. I think if you have a church or something like that in which you're raising the kids this might be a different story, but otherwise I think a decent school could do a much better job on all fronts.

I also sense a bit of all or nothing in your post. I think you need to step back a bit and look at whether your ideals in either domain, work or home, are realistic. I know several homeschool parents who find the job rather high burnout, especially if they have sky high expectations of replicating an entire mini-culture or world in the confines of their home. I understand your frustration with the educational options available to you. I suggest investing your money in a really good home library, developmentally appropriate art area, and outdoor play area. Most homeschoolers I know have their kids reading and/or playing outdoors most of the day anyway so by providing that enriched environment you are showing your children that you value their education.

Great response!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in an amazing point of opportunity in my career, and have two young kids. Really have a chance to excel within my organization, but it's not like, a passion, I guess. But I think I could do a better job raising my kids than anyone else, and don't believe the education they'd get at public school would be good quality, and private school is very expensive and still probably not as good as home schooling if I devote all my energy into my kids instead of my high demanding job. But giving up my salary would mean a significant impact on our quality of life/what we could save. We'd be able to do it, but without my 100K incomes, we'd be making about 140k (this includes rental income). How to make this decision? Nothing more important to invest in than my kids, right?

I'm in education. It's incredibly hard for any one person, no matter how talented to replicate what a school does. A school allows your children to establish relationships with a large group of diverse peers. To learn how to build on others' ideas, negotiate, discuss, debate, and communicate to people who may not see eye to eye with you. To work with various adult role models, who model different ways of being in the world -- different modes of coping with problems and life situations. Homeschooling means limiting your children to your own perspective on things (supplemented occasionally by various outings and classes, which don't substitute for the kinds of relationships they would have in school. It also risks depriving them of finding a peer group to which they belong. For elementary aged students, belonging to a community beyond the family is a very important step of development. I think if you have a church or something like that in which you're raising the kids this might be a different story, but otherwise I think a decent school could do a much better job on all fronts.

I also sense a bit of all or nothing in your post. I think you need to step back a bit and look at whether your ideals in either domain, work or home, are realistic. I know several homeschool parents who find the job rather high burnout, especially if they have sky high expectations of replicating an entire mini-culture or world in the confines of their home. I understand your frustration with the educational options available to you. I suggest investing your money in a really good home library, developmentally appropriate art area, and outdoor play area. Most homeschoolers I know have their kids reading and/or playing outdoors most of the day anyway so by providing that enriched environment you are showing your children that you value their education.

Great response!!

+2

[Anonymous]

I majored in education. When we learned all the theory, it was always assumed that the student was a bright always motivated and compliant audience. In real life, you get the whole spectrum of less than motivated kids. I used to tutor kids a lot. It tests your patience and you need to adjust the teaching to the kid.
There are good reasons parents don’t teach their kids every subject matter they are good at. Or instruments or foreign languages.
I think OP is being unrealistic that she’s going to excel at this just because she’s highly educated or driven, that she will have the patience to keep at it for years, and that her kids will end up with a better education than having a variety of teachers. Sure some teachers suck, but there’s still a lot to be learned in terms of life skills dealing with various types of people and situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know where your money is going that you cannot afford a good Montessori or another private placement on 240k a year. There are bigger problems here.

privates in this area are northward of 35k/year .... 240k HHI does not support that for 2 kids.

Seriously!!! Some posters are clueless or they haven’t thought through the numbers. Houses now in good districts are 750k at a minimum. Property taxes alone come close to $10k. Just the housing costs are crazy high here. Our HHI is about $200k and we couldn’t do one private comfortably. You need more funds to keep up with the extra than just being able to barely afford tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know where your money is going that you cannot afford a good Montessori or another private placement on 240k a year. There are bigger problems here.

privates in this area are northward of 35k/year .... 240k HHI does not support that for 2 kids.

Seriously!!! Some posters are clueless or they haven’t thought through the numbers. Houses now in good districts are 750k at a minimum. Property taxes alone come close to $10k. Just the housing costs are crazy high here. Our HHI is about $200k and we couldn’t do one private comfortably. You need more funds to keep up with the extra than just being able to barely afford tuition.

If her kids are little, the Montessori in Alexandria is about 13k per year.

She cuold easily afford to move to FCPS, too if she owns in Alexandria. That's what we did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in an amazing point of opportunity in my career, and have two young kids. Really have a chance to excel within my organization, but it's not like, a passion, I guess. But I think I could do a better job raising my kids than anyone else, and don't believe the education they'd get at public school would be good quality, and private school is very expensive and still probably not as good as home schooling if I devote all my energy into my kids instead of my high demanding job. But giving up my salary would mean a significant impact on our quality of life/what we could save. We'd be able to do it, but without my 100K incomes, we'd be making about 140k (this includes rental income). How to make this decision? Nothing more important to invest in than my kids, right?

I'm in education. It's incredibly hard for any one person, no matter how talented to replicate what a school does. A school allows your children to establish relationships with a large group of diverse peers. To learn how to build on others' ideas, negotiate, discuss, debate, and communicate to people who may not see eye to eye with you. To work with various adult role models, who model different ways of being in the world -- different modes of coping with problems and life situations. Homeschooling means limiting your children to your own perspective on things (supplemented occasionally by various outings and classes, which don't substitute for the kinds of relationships they would have in school. It also risks depriving them of finding a peer group to which they belong. For elementary aged students, belonging to a community beyond the family is a very important step of development. I think if you have a church or something like that in which you're raising the kids this might be a different story, but otherwise I think a decent school could do a much better job on all fronts.

I also sense a bit of all or nothing in your post. I think you need to step back a bit and look at whether your ideals in either domain, work or home, are realistic. I know several homeschool parents who find the job rather high burnout, especially if they have sky high expectations of replicating an entire mini-culture or world in the confines of their home. I understand your frustration with the educational options available to you. I suggest investing your money in a really good home library, developmentally appropriate art area, and outdoor play area. Most homeschoolers I know have their kids reading and/or playing outdoors most of the day anyway so by providing that enriched environment you are showing your children that you value their education.

Great response!!

+2

+3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for replies. Yes, I don’t want to waste my kids time. I will consider private, but it’s not even about school quality, but that I feel I don’t want them not going at their pace,faster or slower, which is what any school requires.

Are you going to homeschool them through college, too? Life moves faster, or slower, than we'd all like it to sometimes. Get your kids used to it. And by the way, our private differentiates kids for all subjects and helps them speed up or slow down depending on what they need. You seem very clueless.

[Anonymous]

Lot of nasties in this thread. Homeschooling can be great, but OP should really research it before quitting her job. Talk to other parents who currently homeschool and get a sense of what’s involved, and whether she can do it.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP-- homeschooling can be fantastic-- it is for us! My kids are thriving academically, absolutely have a 'peer group', and are avid participants in their co-op (which is pretty sizable and gives them ample opportunity to learn from people with different teaching styles, to advocate for themselves, to make connections with friends etc) and their various extra curricular activities.

I will say though, OP, that it is not something done on a whim. I spend most evenings lesson planning and grading work. I am constantly planning lessons, compiling book lists, researching teaching styles (I have two children with two very different learning styles), writing down field trip ideas/book ideas/lesson ideas that inspire me. I have boxes of books in my basement in addition to an entire shelving unit dedicated to our work just for this year. And this doesn't include my children's shelves of 'fun' books they each have in their rooms or the many trips we take to the library.

I do it because I love it and I know it is right for our family for a variety of reasons. It is not easy, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know where your money is going that you cannot afford a good Montessori or another private placement on 240k a year. There are bigger problems here.

privates in this area are northward of 35k/year .... 240k HHI does not support that for 2 kids.

Seriously!!! Some posters are clueless or they haven’t thought through the numbers. Houses now in good districts are 750k at a minimum. Property taxes alone come close to $10k. Just the housing costs are crazy high here. Our HHI is about $200k and we couldn’t do one private comfortably. You need more funds to keep up with the extra than just being able to barely afford tuition.

OP is talking about dropping the household income total from about 240K to 140K. Or, she could keep making that 100K part and dedicate what's left after taxes to private school for two kids, or moving, or whatever. Then again, she later said (IIRC) it wasn't really about the quality of the school, public or private, but that she wanted the kids to have completed individualized pacing, which they would only get with her.

OP, how apprehensive or hesitant would you be about taking this next step, if you did not have kids? Are you feeling at all burned out, or wanting not to work for your own reasons (not the kids), or feeling a little overwhelmed?

[Anonymous]

(Those questions are about taking the next step in your career, as you mentioned.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for replies. Yes, I don’t want to waste my kids time. I will consider private, but it’s not even about school quality, but that I feel I don’t want them not going at their pace,faster or slower, which is what any school requires.

your motivation for homeschooling is weird. it’s ok to “waste” your children’s time. not every second of their life should be optimized for some kind of instructional growth. school teaches you that sometimes you need to learn things you already know, or things that are boring or that you are unlikely to use later. pacing everything to your child exact needs (as perceived by you with all the limitations that entails) is not in fact optimal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for replies. Yes, I don’t want to waste my kids time. I will consider private, but it’s not even about school quality, but that I feel I don’t want them not going at their pace,faster or slower, which is what any school requires.

Are you going to homeschool them through college, too? Life moves faster, or slower, than we'd all like it to sometimes. Get your kids used to it. And by the way, our private differentiates kids for all subjects and helps them speed up or slow down depending on what they need. You seem very clueless.

OP is going to join her kids at their place of employment just to mela sure their time there is no wasted. they are very special!