Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, I think it's pretty rare for people to LOVE their jobs so much that they wouldn't quit if they suddenly came into a lot of money. Such as winning the lotto or DH getting a seven figure gig.

I'm sure there are people out there who genuinely love their work but I think it's pretty rare on average.

There is more to getting personal fulfillment from working than loving your job every moment.

[Anonymous]

OP I would quit my job in a heartbeat if we could afford it (we can't). I don't love my job and my kids are in elementary and middle school. I would love to be able to be the mom that can be there for all of their performances, field trips, presentations, etc. I would do more regular volunteer work and would pursue some artistic interests. I would work out more, cook more, read more. I am super jealous of anyone who can do this.

I say GO FOR IT!

[Anonymous]

I love staying home and maximizing time with my children in the afternoon. One has special needs and needs a lot of supervision, the other has a ton of extra-curriculars and needs to be driven around.

However, I would love a part-time job! Right now I’m on the PTA board of one of my kids’ school, and I’ve done useful work, but it’s time for a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, I think it's pretty rare for people to LOVE their jobs so much that they wouldn't quit if they suddenly came into a lot of money. Such as winning the lotto or DH getting a seven figure gig.

I'm sure there are people out there who genuinely love their work but I think it's pretty rare on average.

There is more to getting personal fulfillment from working than loving your job every moment.

Yes, if finances were now longer a concern, I'd still work. I just wouldn't stay in my high paying inflexible job and would do something like work on a political campaign, go back to government, or work for an NGO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds very lazy to quit working to stay at home once your children don't require childcare during the day because they're in school. Is that your actual plan? I don't know anyone who does/did that.

Serious question, how do you handle sick days and snow days? I also work part-time like the pp. Just this morning my dd woke up with pinkeye. We have no family in the area, and dh’s job is fairly inflexible. I don’t know how we’d manage if I also had an inflexible position.

NP. I would have a job with this level of inflexibility and would hope my partner didn't either. Does your husband not have sick days? We generally trade off taking sick days. Snow days I'm supposed to work from home, so basically I'm not as productive because there's a toddler who needs attention. I have been honest with my boss that this is what happens. She is fine with it since this happens like 4 time a year and I am very productive al the other days of the year.

Same.

Also, what magical land do you live in that "local family" would handle all sick and snow days? I would never ask my 70-something parents to drive in snow and/or expose themselves to myriad illnesses unless I *really* needed the help. This idea that extended family are a work-life panacea just doesn't hold water. Even if they live close, it presumes a level of health, temperament, and availability that many extended family just don't have. I certainly don't.

Great, you have a flexible job and don't need local family. Some people have inflexible jobs and family that can help. Different families have different circumstances. Yippee.

And some people have inflexible jobs and no family who can help. Part of why we CHOSE flexible jobs is *because* our families are unreliable. See how that works? Yeah, I know we're lucky to have the option for flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP
I think the point is she can choose to just work ten hours and enjoy the work. Since she doesn’t need the money it keeps her brain sharp - also keeps her cv current.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would quit my job in a heartbeat if we could afford it (we can't). I don't love my job and my kids are in elementary and middle school. I would love to be able to be the mom that can be there for all of their performances, field trips, presentations, etc. I would do more regular volunteer work and would pursue some artistic interests. I would work out more, cook more, read more. I am super jealous of anyone who can do this.

I say GO FOR IT!

+1. You can always get another job if you change your mind, or could try taking a leave of absence first

[Anonymous]

Yes, very happy. Love being home. There is not that much time as one would think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what would you do with your time? after a few months, wouldn't it get boring?

Working mom here. I can't quit because we need the money so I have no dog in this fight.

But, I don't get this question. Don't you have hobbies and things you like to do? School is only 6 hours during the day. It's not really that much time to fill, especially if you have to fill some of it running errands and cleaning. I've always been jealous of the women I see doing 2 back to back classes at the gym and then going in the sauna or getting a message. I never have time for that. I'm always running and trying to squeeze things in.

Also a working mom for whom this isn't an option, but I totally agree. I would clean, do yard work, organize the crap out of every room of the house, volunteer at my kids' school (and other places), exercise...seems like the possibilities are endless! That said, I do love my job and for the most part look forward to coming to work every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP
I think the point is she can choose to just work ten hours and enjoy the work. Since she doesn’t need the money it keeps her brain sharp - also keeps her cv current.

Lol 10 hours isn’t going to keep your brain sharp. That’s just delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, I think it's pretty rare for people to LOVE their jobs so much that they wouldn't quit if they suddenly came into a lot of money. Such as winning the lotto or DH getting a seven figure gig.

I'm sure there are people out there who genuinely love their work but I think it's pretty rare on average.

There is more to getting personal fulfillment from working than loving your job every moment.

Such as?

[Anonymous]

Go for it!! Although your world will get a LOT smaller, and i'd encourage volunteering with older/younger adults so the school and kids activities social scene does not balloon to an outsized proportion of your life, if that makes sense

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I daydream about this. Honestly, having kids in school is so much harder to keep up with than full time daycare. Right now I'm used to drop off at 7:30, pick up at 5:00, and no weather or holiday or teacher work closures. I see coworkers with elementary age kids and it's awful - they have to juggle their schedules so much. They have to account for before and after care, and all of the random holidays and closures.

Next year when my oldest is in Kindergarten, I will most likely ask for a reduced schedule so that I can be home before and after school starts. I do not think we can afford me quitting my job, but I could afford to cut back, and I think it would be worth the decrease in stress.

OP, go for it if you can afford it. I do not think you will be bored

Our daycare follows arlington public schools and when they shut down / are delayed so are we! Are you in dc or somewhere else where the school district isn’t nuts?
On top of that, kids are gross and geeky and every jan/feb it feels like everyone gets sick at least once and is out for a week. Has been a bit of a shitshow this winter - daycare was closed two fridays ago when there was a sprinkling of snow on the ground.

Yes, PP here, I'm at a large center in DC that doesn't follow school closings. They are closed for the major holidays and that is it - no spring or winter breaks, and never a weather closing. I think that is pretty common at large centers. It's definitely one of the perks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds very lazy to quit working to stay at home once your children don't require childcare during the day because they're in school. Is that your actual plan? I don't know anyone who does/did that.

Serious question, how do you handle sick days and snow days? I also work part-time like the pp. Just this morning my dd woke up with pinkeye. We have no family in the area, and dh’s job is fairly inflexible. I don’t know how we’d manage if I also had an inflexible position.

Not who you asked but I’m a si hole mom and I work from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP
I think the point is she can choose to just work ten hours and enjoy the work. Since she doesn’t need the money it keeps her brain sharp - also keeps her cv current.

Lol 10 hours isn’t going to keep your brain sharp. That’s just delusional.

I disagree, but to each their own