If you grew up poor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LMC or lower, what do you do now? How much do you make? Are you happy?

Not sure what we were. My parents were very well educated, but have terrible mental illness. We had food insecurity and housing was not stable. Father ended up eventually homeless. Mother can't hold down a job but luckily has held down a man.

I only have 2 years in college and just did my taxes. Made 282k in 2018. I'm very happy, but this has nothing to do with money. I have a husband I love and two truly wonderful kids. Our lives are comfortable and full of a lot of love and closeness. My biggest worry is the thought of passing down mentally ill genes to my kids.

Wow- sounds a little like the book Glass Castle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAH and my husband is a lobbyist. He makes a lot of money, even for this area. It is definitely weird to go from poor to upper middle class. The best part is giving my kids a childhood of stability and free from worry, abuse, tension, and scarcity.

Does he work for a firm, corporation, association or a different organization?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew dirt poor. Slept on floor in Living room till age of 12 with brother, Father an Alcoholic, both parents and 8th greade education. Lived in a very rough part of NYC as a kids, gun shots and stuff. Rent Controlled tiny apt. Went to college on financial aid, graduated college and got a job on Wall street, did MBA at night. Parents long dead. Dad died 16 liver failure, Mom died of Hep around 16 years ago.

Have three kids, a SAHM wife and make 500K and live in 6k square foot house in the DC area and my neighbors are all surgeons and lawyers.

Money means nothing to me. Could care less. I went to school with no hat or gloves, hole in a shoe, sometimes heat would go out in rental dump and in summer it was an inferno. We slept windows closed no AC on floor sometimes or window open a crack with a stick to block it so dont get robbed. I a bed, AC, Heat, food and own my own house and car which makes me feel rich. I acutally have a few million cash, stock and bonds, but does not feel real.

When was this? Went I went to college in early 2000s, wall street tended to filter for 'cultural fit' -- how did you squeak by?

I hit Wall Street in 1985. Back then a college degree was not even required. My two VPs did not go to college. 1987 cleared out the non-college degree crowed. I managed not to get laid off in the 1987 crash, did my MBA at night between 1989 and 1992 when street was dead as a door nail. From 1993 to 1998 stayed on the street, then went to consulting with broker dealers as my clients from 1998 to 2006 then ended up with a corner office back on Wall Street from 2006 to 2016 then moved to DC. My key was from 1985 to 2016 never out of work not even one day. I switched jobs five times along way voluntarily. The DC thing was well I finally go caught in a lay-off. But I had a record run for wall street. 31 years. I was always saving like crazy as on Wall Street it never lasts long. But I lasted 31 years. Even more impressive held onto same corner office with a water view for ten years. Screw salary and bonus had to hold on to a corner office. I lost that in DC. But still have an office.

You’re not ready to retire?!?! That money goes a lot further in DC than NYC.

Still, I admire your hustle! I have a buddy from the Bronx who did the same trajectory as you: started on Wall St in early 90s as a back office trade-filler while doing night classes at PACE, worked his way up and passed his Series test, started trading, made a killing, left the Street after 9/11 to invest his money in real estate and small businesses around NYC and Miami (he owns a few hair salons, bars, and small apartment buildings).

Not retiring as like work, don't like hanging around putzing around the house. Married late and still have 11 years of college to pay for.

Pace was a great location. Back when Wall Street regularly paid for MBA. Pace was popular as very hard to leave office. If you left work 650 pm could rush to a 7 pm class. And still make it back by 10 pm for drinks if a Thursday. My boss retired he is one year younger than me but he cleared 100 million on street in his 30 years. One level down is huge difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Congrats all

How do you feel about poor people today since all of you started with barely anything and are now doing very well?

Poor immigrant here. Now have 7 figure HHI. DH and I both worked hard because I hated being poor.

I have little sympathy for those who are lazy and don’t work hard. I’m also getting tired of CONSTANTLY hearing about racism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this post makes it seem like everyone can go from rags to riches.

I grew up LMC/MC and am still... MC I don’t see how I can ever get any higher and looking back I see where the mistakes were made and cannot believe I was not pushed in a certain direction. My parents did not think to “aim higher” if that makes sense. They came from nothing, so MC was a big step up. But I still don’t understand how i went out in the world, not understanding my options/having resources. Not making the same mistake with my kids. Even if I don’t have the connections or money, I’ll help them understand what’s out there, give them guidance on questions they may not have thought of yet.

I think the media portrays the US as a place with so many roadblocks, and yes, that maybe true for some people. But, IF an average person graduates high school, can keep a job, work hard and don't have kids too early, mobility from low income to middle or higher is not impossible. Negative feelings can really keep a person from even trying and having the right mentality will help you push through the hard times. It sounds as though you have learned from your past and will be ready to better set-up your own kids to help them do better.

[Anonymous]

This thread is incredible. So many inspiring stories. Lots of kudos to all of you!

I grew up LMC. We were probably actually poor, but we lived in a low-cost-of-living area, so it was OK. I got a massive scholarship to a good private college, then had a good, though not lucrative, career right out of the gate.

My husband grew up UMC. We are UMC now. We are both cautious with money, but to be honest, he is more cautious than I am. Not sure why. We are struggling to teach our kids how to deal with money. They've never had to worry about it, whereas I worried all the time.

We have some good habits (humble home, we drive old cars) and also some bad habits (we spend a lot on food and hobbies).

[Anonymous]

I was poor until I finished grad school. So even though I am now financially well off, I am a poor. Only foreign country I've visited is Canada, never been west of Kansas, and never went to Disney. I never quite fit in with my neighbors or colleagues.

[Anonymous]

I grew up pretty poor, though not nearly to the degree of what some on this thread experienced. One of five children, stay at home mother, father working assorted blue collar jobs (sometimes a carpenter, sometimes a truck driver, etc.). Our father divided up every space in our house other than the kitchen into small bedrooms. I didn't have access to a computer until I went to college (in the mid-90s). We took camping trips for vacation. Never ate out. A trip to McDonalds was a huge treat. I worked summers and weekends from the time I was about 13, mostly doing farm work.

Somehow, my parents managed to put all five of us through college. I worked for a while, then went to law school at night. My HHI is now between $500-600k, mostly from my income.

One of my sisters split her time in high school between the regular public high school and an occupational program. She became a pilot, went to a college geared towards aeronautical engineering, and is now a commercial pilot for a major airline.

My much younger sister worked for a few years after graduating from University of Chicago, and is now putting herself through law school.

One of my brothers managed to get himself through an MBA program and is in hospital administration now. The other is struggling financially, and works restoring old cars.

Overall, I think it's pretty amazing that four out of five of us ended up so far from where we started. My parents did an amazing job of making the most of what they could give us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats all

How do you feel about poor people today since all of you started with barely anything and are now doing very well?

Poor immigrant here. Now have 7 figure HHI. DH and I both worked hard because I hated being poor.

I have little sympathy for those who are lazy and don’t work hard. I’m also getting tired of CONSTANTLY hearing about racism.

Interesting how you equate (conflate) these two things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up pretty poor, though not nearly to the degree of what some on this thread experienced. One of five children, stay at home mother, father working assorted blue collar jobs (sometimes a carpenter, sometimes a truck driver, etc.). Our father divided up every space in our house other than the kitchen into small bedrooms. I didn't have access to a computer until I went to college (in the mid-90s). We took camping trips for vacation. Never ate out. A trip to McDonalds was a huge treat. I worked summers and weekends from the time I was about 13, mostly doing farm work.

Somehow, my parents managed to put all five of us through college. I worked for a while, then went to law school at night. My HHI is now between $500-600k, mostly from my income.

One of my sisters split her time in high school between the regular public high school and an occupational program. She became a pilot, went to a college geared towards aeronautical engineering, and is now a commercial pilot for a major airline.

My much younger sister worked for a few years after graduating from University of Chicago, and is now putting herself through law school.

One of my brothers managed to get himself through an MBA program and is in hospital administration now. The other is struggling financially, and works restoring old cars.

Overall, I think it's pretty amazing that four out of five of us ended up so far from where we started. My parents did an amazing job of making the most of what they could give us.

What do you think happened to the one brother? Was it a learning disability, personality disorder, or...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We grew up LMC, both with dads unable to hold jobs and a workaholic mother who earned money and raised kids while the dad was checked out (depressio, alcoholism, etc).

We both work and I make more than DH, GS15 & GS14 (his agency has flatter compensation where stopping st GS14 makes way more sense). He is very involved as a dad, and we split activites and pickup and drop up, and chores.

We have a nice life, with enough money (not quite enough for around here if we want good commutes) but I am anxious about going to single breadwinner after seeing our dads careers crater suddenly. And he doesn’t want to be a SAHD b/c he feels it will be very isolating.

Out of curiosity, are you and your DH close to your moms? I feel like I'm the workaholic mom (due to a DH with a great job but who drinks too much) and I pray that my kids will not resent me someday, but will appreciate what I'm doing to ensure stability.

[Anonymous]

Grew up poor. Then made it all by myself, 3 degrees (2 masters) all paid by myself. Had a great career. Got married and faced 3 years of infertility treatments and high risk pregnancy, without anyone's help but husband's. Went downhill from there and I am poor again. I expect and pray to get back to the saddle in the next year or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, yes I am happy. Grew up very poor, HHI is now around 750/800k with very flexible, family friendly jobs.

It is so much better to have money.

I think the only people who say money doesn’t buy happiness haven’t been poor and so have no clue how stressful it is to worry about money and not having enough to eat or to heat your house properly.

You can be poor and miserable and rich and miserable. But guess which one is better.

Money buys security, comfort, pleasure, entertainment, and time. All of which contributes greatly to overall happiness.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing like being poor in a developed country. Immigrant here - grew up in 2 bedroom govt housing for 6 people. One time we were in housing where water was pulled from a well by hand (!), clothes washed by hand, etc. Came to the US for college under a scholarship and now make over $500k and my husband also an immigrant, our HHI is over $1M. I send money home to my parents and siblings and so does he.

Money alleviates a lot of stress....

Are you both doctors?

No, STEM degrees. For the poster who asked what we think of poor people today - every needs a helping hand to break out of the cycle of poverty. You just need one from each family to lift the rest up. Majority of our cash donations go to Catholic Charities and our time to the inner cities. I wish richer towns could have a “sister” poorer town and some of the taxes collected from the richer town could be used for the children of the poorer towns.

Where do you live? It is basically this way - and trending more this way in MoCo.

[Anonymous]

Parents had us extremely young (teens-21) and divorced young so we didn’t have much. Dad had us on weekends, our water and electric was constantly getting turned off. They both worked their way up career wise and had money once I was Leavimg college years, I am the oldest. My siblings and I all paid for college and have considerably decent high paying jobs for this area. We learned independence and hard work from a very young age. Having my own kids now and never want them to go through that but appreciate I did as it taught me many lessons at a young age.