SAHM just back to work...

[Anonymous]

working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the 70's not studies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.

How did you observe this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

100% agree

Dirty little secret of working moms!

Who knew??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

Imagine if we could all just acknowledge that everyone finds different things harder and you can make a choice without putting down others.

Op definitely has a holier than thou vibe. I would love to hear how she reduced her household labor time by half but still gets most done. I doubt lunched and diaper changes were the bulk of her day, yet working is easier? Presumably she was slogging all day SAH, and now doesn’t do any work in day yet life is easier? What was she doing all day, where her children cage fighters?

Rasing children is HARD. The constant responsibility, emotional and mental development, feeding them cleaning them, playing with them. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that outsourcing childcare is easier than doing it yourself. Much like hiring someone to clean your house.

Well I have news for you sweetie, working mother’s all KNOW that raising children is tough because in addition to working we also feed clean and play with our kids. Stupid SAHM, get yourself some real life skills and come join the working world. Juggle a career and a one year old and you tell me how easy it is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.

How did you observe this?

Hysterical. You judge a mom’s amount of engagement on her actions at the playground? Or at the library?As a sahm, I spent 12 hours of waking hours a day with my kid. A working parent gets some time in the car, when you are making dinner and before bed?. if im a little zoned out at the playground, when you saw me, it’s because I just spent five straight hours with my kids and we all need some independent time. You are living in a dream world if you think working moms have more quality time with their kids. You can’t manufacture “quality” time on demand with kids. You just have to be WITH THEM, which working moms are not. Stay at home parents have more quality time with their kids. That’s totally indisputable and I don’t need a study to tell me that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.

How did you observe this?

Hysterical. You judge a mom’s amount of engagement on her actions at the playground? Or at the library?As a sahm, I spent 12 hours of waking hours a day with my kid. A working parent gets some time in the car, when you are making dinner and before bed?. if im a little zoned out at the playground, when you saw me, it’s because I just spent five straight hours with my kids and we all need some independent time. You are living in a dream world if you think working moms have more quality time with their kids. You can’t manufacture “quality” time on demand with kids. You just have to be WITH THEM, which working moms are not. Stay at home parents have more quality time with their kids. That’s totally indisputable and I don’t need a study to tell me that.

Just keep telling yourself if it makes you sleep better at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.

How did you observe this?

Hysterical. You judge a mom’s amount of engagement on her actions at the playground? Or at the library?As a sahm, I spent 12 hours of waking hours a day with my kid. A working parent gets some time in the car, when you are making dinner and before bed?. if im a little zoned out at the playground, when you saw me, it’s because I just spent five straight hours with my kids and we all need some independent time. You are living in a dream world if you think working moms have more quality time with their kids. You can’t manufacture “quality” time on demand with kids. You just have to be WITH THEM, which working moms are not. Stay at home parents have more quality time with their kids. That’s totally indisputable and I don’t need a study to tell me that.

+1

This is the dumbest argument ever. She's essentially saying all SAHMs ignore their children 40-50 hours per week. I call bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.

How did you observe this?

Hysterical. You judge a mom’s amount of engagement on her actions at the playground? Or at the library?As a sahm, I spent 12 hours of waking hours a day with my kid. A working parent gets some time in the car, when you are making dinner and before bed?. if im a little zoned out at the playground, when you saw me, it’s because I just spent five straight hours with my kids and we all need some independent time. You are living in a dream world if you think working moms have more quality time with their kids. You can’t manufacture “quality” time on demand with kids. You just have to be WITH THEM, which working moms are not. Stay at home parents have more quality time with their kids. That’s totally indisputable and I don’t need a study to tell me that.

+1

This is the dumbest argument ever. She's essentially saying all SAHMs ignore their children 40-50 hours per week. I call bs.

I’d say between kids naps,the mom using the phone, and activities, most SAHMs spend an extra 15 hours of quality time with their kids each week. Maybe 3 hours a day. Not worth not contributing to retirement for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, clearly it depends on what type of FT job we’re talking. If you’ve got a chill 40 hour a week clock in clock out then sure..chasing around 3 kids sounds completely physically and mentally exhausting ..but the real struggle is when you and your DH both have demanding jobs where you both often have to take after business hours calls and work on weekends. That juggle is not easy, and during cold/flu season and random APS closing/delays, life becomes a shitshow.

+1

It is not easy being a WOHM either. Here is the perfect scenario for both SAHMs and WOHMs -

Working at a fulfilling and fun job with zero commute, super flexible, with a boss and coworkers who are helpful, pays well, and you have a team of care providers and you can do everything with your kids that you want. You can take off if your kids are sick and you can take your kids with you where-ever you go.

The only person who has this setup is Kylie Jenner.

+ 1 my husband has this setup. He calls himself a SAHD with a paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we all just agree to band together and demand one year of leave for both mothers and fathers? It's not WOH vs SAH, it's people vs gov't/corporations.

Thank you. Yes. Our society does not value caregiving in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I worked full time, then went PT for a few years at a high paying job, and now am back to FT. I always found, without exception, SAHMs paid very little actual attention to their kids, whereas working moms valued the time and paid a lot of attention to their kids. I think because SAHM have so much more time in the day to spend there is more quantity/being in proximity, but not necessarily quality. This bears out in studies showing working moms spend MORE TIME with their kids than moms from the studies.

How did you observe this?

Hysterical. You judge a mom’s amount of engagement on her actions at the playground? Or at the library?As a sahm, I spent 12 hours of waking hours a day with my kid. A working parent gets some time in the car, when you are making dinner and before bed?. if im a little zoned out at the playground, when you saw me, it’s because I just spent five straight hours with my kids and we all need some independent time. You are living in a dream world if you think working moms have more quality time with their kids. You can’t manufacture “quality” time on demand with kids. You just have to be WITH THEM, which working moms are not. Stay at home parents have more quality time with their kids. That’s totally indisputable and I don’t need a study to tell me that.

+1

This is the dumbest argument ever. She's essentially saying all SAHMs ignore their children 40-50 hours per week. I call bs.

I’d say between kids naps,the mom using the phone, and activities, most SAHMs spend an extra 15 hours of quality time with their kids each week. Maybe 3 hours a day. Not worth not contributing to retirement for.

It's not your choice what other women do with their lives. Worry about your own life. If you're truly happy working then you wouldn't feel the need to bash other women's choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

100% agree

Dirty little secret of working moms!

Who knew??

Really? I think staying at home is much easier than working - and I work for myself. Hanging out with my kid, doing some dishes, cooking a few meals, and cleaning up some messes is *far* less stressful than working. And about 1000% less stressful than working and having children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

100% agree

Dirty little secret of working moms!

Who knew??

Really? I think staying at home is much easier than working - and I work for myself. Hanging out with my kid, doing some dishes, cooking a few meals, and cleaning up some messes is *far* less stressful than working. And about 1000% less stressful than working and having children.

I really want a breakdown on how working could be easier? Just logistics of a given day is way more hectic : a) drop of commute work commute pickup make dinner — vs b)hang out with kid lunch dinner.

Also, work has its own set of demands.

Please let us know about your tricks that make a easier than b?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

100% agree

Dirty little secret of working moms!

Who knew??

Really? I think staying at home is much easier than working - and I work for myself. Hanging out with my kid, doing some dishes, cooking a few meals, and cleaning up some messes is *far* less stressful than working. And about 1000% less stressful than working and having children.

I really want a breakdown on how working could be easier? Just logistics of a given day is way more hectic : a) drop of commute work commute pickup make dinner — vs b)hang out with kid lunch dinner.

Also, work has its own set of demands.

Please let us know about your tricks that make a easier than b?

I keep asking this question, but all I get is references to coffee breaks? If I don't get a clear picture, yeah have to call troll.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I’ve done both with a tough age gap - 2 under 2 - and staying home is definitely less stressful for me. Mom guilt really plagues me when I’m working, and I find that it rough to spend all day at my demanding job and then be the mom I want to be when I get home. But, we need my income to pay our bills, so I went back when my youngest was six months.