My son brought a friend on vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being way too nice. If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19. And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me.

Yeah, he is ruining your vacation, why not try to ruin his!

Good Lord people... OP allowed her son to invite him. Don't be so petty.

How does asking him to be respectful of others and share the food that is available "ruin" his vacation? It doesn't have to be a lecture. "Hey Larlo, you really liked those cookies! Why don't you go pick up another box so the rest of us can have some (jokingly)"

I seriously don't understand how so many of y'all walk through life unable to open your mouths and talk, and at the same time take everything anyone says to the absolute extreme. 19 year olds don't pick up on subtlety or nuance. If something he is doing is upsetting you, you're going to have to tell him. And that's better than stewing, calling him a glutton, and eventually hating him.

It's not OP's job to educate him or teach him good manners. OP's son invited him. OP let him. Now she is calling a glutton. I just don't think that's very nice. It's OP who made the mistake of letting this happen. She needs to own it rather than calling names.

It's not about educating him necessarily, though at 19 he's still learning, but about OP drawing her own boundaries. You're right she's letting all of it happen, and calling a kid a glutton is messed up. But inviting him on the trip wasnt the mistake. It was kind. Now all she needs to do is set boundaries. "Everyone's budget tonight is $20" "Everyone grab something to carry" "Boys, you all are on cleanup duty tonight" It's not hard, and OP can easily enjoy her vacation if she just speaks up.

This. So much better to teach them at 19 than it is at 29!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't cure his gluttony in a week (and it isn't really your place), but I'll be damned if I'll let a kid get away with not pitching in. He may not offer to take out the trash or do dishes, but I sure will treat him like the rest of the family when it comes to chores.

This. If you are under my watch, I'm treating you like my kid.
"Brad, slow down, manners, baby"
"Brad, Bob and Jim, hey -- you don't eat the last of anything unless you ask if anyone wants some. LET MOM AND DAD know we are running low so we can buy more"
He's not a glutton because he is chubby, he's a glutton because he is a teenage boy, just like YOUR KID.
Spend more time lovingly teaching and guiding then judging.
GEEZ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being way too nice. If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19. And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me.

This is unusual, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Talk about making your "guest" uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are extremely rude for judging every action this kid takes. Just because he’s not what you are accustomed to does not mean his behavior is outside the norm. If you are hosting then surely you must have better manners than you have displayed? Monitor your own behavior first, OP.

I have actually seen a grown azzed adult take about half or more of the food off of a platter of food that was intended to serve everyone at the table. Not cool.

This thread is filled with people who buy one pizza for a family of six I bet. with green beans so no one needs more than one slice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being way too nice. If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19. And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me.

Yeah, he is ruining your vacation, why not try to ruin his!

Good Lord people... OP allowed her son to invite him. Don't be so petty.

EXACTLY, MORE PEOPLE MORE SNACKS. YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS OP: THEY EAT A LOTTTT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being way too nice. If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19. And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me.

This is unusual, by the way.

Sure I'll give you that. But I was raised not to treat my parents like an atm. This kid didn't receive that lesson, and sometimes what OP is dealing with is the result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are extremely rude for judging every action this kid takes. Just because he’s not what you are accustomed to does not mean his behavior is outside the norm. If you are hosting then surely you must have better manners than you have displayed? Monitor your own behavior first, OP.

I have actually seen a grown azzed adult take about half or more of the food off of a platter of food that was intended to serve everyone at the table. Not cool.

This thread is filled with people who buy one pizza for a family of six I bet. with green beans so no one needs more than one slice!

Yep. I bet it was one of those bags of cookies with like 4 cookies total. OP is just nit use to being around men.

[Anonymous]

Who uses spray sunscreen. The only way that provides protection is if you heavily coat yourself with it. OP how long have you had issue with food?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have inexpensive food available at your rental place - cereal, hot dogs/buns, spaghetti/sauce, chicken drumsticks, mac & cheese, eggs, lunch meat, bread, English muffins.

I'd be inclined to model healthful eating. Lots of vegetables filling each meal plate at dinner. Fruit with lunch. Omelets for breakfast with English muffin for kids but not cereal, which isn't going to be enough and too carby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are extremely rude for judging every action this kid takes. Just because he’s not what you are accustomed to does not mean his behavior is outside the norm. If you are hosting then surely you must have better manners than you have displayed? Monitor your own behavior first, OP.

I have actually seen a grown azzed adult take about half or more of the food off of a platter of food that was intended to serve everyone at the table. Not cool.

This thread is filled with people who buy one pizza for a family of six I bet. with green beans so no one needs more than one slice!

Yep. I bet it was one of those bags of cookies with like 4 cookies total. OP is just nit use to being around men.

This is one of those things where if you expect snacks to last a certain number of days and you need to be able to give younger kids a granola bar, pretzel or whatever....do not tell a teenage boy that they can "feel free to help yourself" because a teenage boy can eat a box of granola bars in one afternoon.

Take the kid to the store. Give him 20 bucks and tell him that he needs to buy himself snacks to last for the next 3 days (or whatever).

[Anonymous]

Oh, DCUM. “You’re not even SUPPOSED to use spray sunscreen, and also you must have an eating disorder.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being way too nice. If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19. And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me.

This is quite possibly the rudest thing ever, if someone who is in college is vacationing with your family and you invite him out to eat with your family, you don't ask the 19 year old to get a separate check.

[Anonymous]

Have you seen the current discussion about teen boys and how much they eat? This boy sounds normal. Don’t go to places with market prices. If you want to, have the teens go somewhere else or tell them they can’t order anything without a price. Or feed them a meal before right before you go to dinner so they can eat twice. Read this. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/740011.page

[Anonymous]

This board makes me laugh

Everyone is so busy bragging about being a SAH, with a Big Law or “Executive” husband, and not sure what they’ll do when they go back to work. You can’t envison life without a fourth child, and don’t know how to tell the housekeeper she can’t work full time hours without cutting into your “me” time.