Censored: Post Traumatic Slavery Syndrome

[Anonymous]

This post is critical of the author and the concept, but for those who agree or disagree with the author, I thought the second-to-last comment on March 20, 2015 at 4:06 PM was excellent.

http://www.mindingthecampus.org/2014/09/post-traumatic-slave-syndrome/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that there are epigenetic effects experienced as much as two generations removed from the one who experienced extreme trauma, which can include changes in handling cortisol, increasing the risk for hypertension and metabolic syndrome. African Americans have an increased risk of hypertension and diabetes.

After that, though, what is the professor's main assertion?

I watched the entire video as well as did some research on her speeches. It seems to me that she is saying that the trauma of slavery was passed down from generation to generation. The slaves passed down their families all of the pain and it never healed. Also she seems to be really stressing the fact that the oppressors did everything they could to justify their treatment of slaves. Saying the slaves didn't have souls, they didn't feel pain and they were not bothered about the slave owners selling their children and breaking up the families. The repercussions of those atrocities never healed and AA still perpetuate the ills of slavery. I loved the example she gave about how AA complement their children compared to white parents.. I find myself doing exactly what she described. I never knew why, but she perfectly explained it. It really spoke to me.

I do wonder what her white peers say about her beliefs. I would imagine that some find her very controversial. No matter, I am drinking her Kool-aid and I am so glad OP posted this. I purchased one of her books from Amazon today. I mean just the information about The Statue of Liberty was stunning to me. I really wonder how many people know that it was meant to be a symbol of freedom from slavery, not this welcoming immigrant thing. How many people know about the chains? That alone really inspired me to investigate more.

Can you share some examples?

I'm not a great writer, but I will try to describe it.

Becky (white lady) and Sharonda (black lady) are friends. They both have a sons that are in Gifted/Talented classes. End of school year comes, both boys receive top awards, straight A's, in essence both are top students. They are both attending school ceremony where both kids are getting recognized.

Becky: Hey Sharonda, nice to you. Come sit beside me.

Sharonda: Hi Becky, so good to see you too. Thanks, I will sit. I'm so happy the school year is over. Hey, Ethan is doing so well. Straight A's again. You must be so proud!

Becky: Yeah, I know, Right. I'm pushing him to take as many AP courses as possible. He really enjoys the classes, and thrives on the challenges of the curriculum.

Sharonda: That's wonderful. He's such a smart kid.

Becky: But hey, Marcus is up there too. Ethan says Marcus got straight A's too, and they take all their AP's together. He won the science fair, robotics competition, and is tops on the debate team. Ethan said that Marcus is the smartest kid in the class. Plus he plays football. How does he do it?

(Okay here is comes.)

Sharonda: Oh, girl it's been a total struggle for him and me. He's so lazy (he's really not), I have to push him every night to get his work done (he actually does it with ease). I don't know what I'm gonna do with that boy. I'll be lucky if he get's a scholarship to Strayer University (Sharonda has already applied for ED at HYP). I want him to focus on sports, maybe that will increase his scholarship chances.

Becky: Oh Sharonda, your selling him short. Didn't he get a 2399 on the SAT?

Sharonda: Yeah he did, but he studied for 3 years and took 18 practice tests. If I didn't make him do that, no telling what he would have received. I'm going to make him take it again! (This is true.)

Dr. Joy DeGruy says that Sharonda is downplaying the her son's achievements much like a slave mother would do of her son to the plantation owner in an effort to keep her son from being sold.

Master: Sallie Mae, little Anthony is growing so big. He does such a wonderful job taking care of the pigs and feeding the horses. He's out there from sun up to sun down--I never seen a boy work so hard. And I heard he learnt how to read all on his own.

Sallie Mae: Oh No Master!!! You wrong about him. He a lazy bag a'bones. I have to drag him out of bed and he eating everything he picking. He don't know how to read. Who ever told you that is lying to you. Anthony can't even spell his name. He don't wanna do nothing round here. You making a mistake about him.

Dr. Joy DeGruy says the slave speaks this way about her child because she doesn't want the master to give her child any attention or be noticed in any way for fear that he would be taken from her and sold.

I do the exactly same thing when people say the same things about my DD. I don't know why. It's really weird. My DD is extremely gracious and polite. And also really smart. She is the "only" in her class at a private school and she was the only child to get straight A's the whole year in both 5th and 6th grade out of 53 kids. People comment to me about her behavior all the time. Her friends' parents praise her behavior at play dates. Her BF's parents actually send their DD to us for the summer because they say their DD behaves so much better after spending time with our DD. Almost every time someone says something to me, I say something like "Oh, yeah, I really work on it. It's not easy." Sometimes, I'll add something like "Yeah, she's a good girl now, but she'll be on the stripper pole at 17!" (Yes, I have actually said that!) Why do I do that? I don't know, I mean I really don't. Her teachers will say "Larla is so engaged in class. She's always prepared, follows directions, and never complains." I'll come back with "Well, I can't get her to pay attention to me at all at home. I have to force her to read books and all she wants to do is play on her phone. She never listens!

I compliment DD all the time to her. I am so proud of my DD. She is a wonderful girl. She will do great things, and I am determined for her to go to Stanford, Harvey Mudd or Columbia! But to others, I never sing her praises. My mother did the same thing to me and my brother. After hearing Dr. Joy, I asked my mother about this and she said her mother did the same thing to her and siblings. She said her mother never complimented her to others, said she didn't want them to get " The Big Head". But I actually feel differently, I want my DD to get the Big Head! I want her to shine. I want her to know that she is smart and can do anything. But why don't I say that to other people about her? (Sorry so long-but I'm not the best at articulating/writing out my points.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that there are epigenetic effects experienced as much as two generations removed from the one who experienced extreme trauma, which can include changes in handling cortisol, increasing the risk for hypertension and metabolic syndrome. African Americans have an increased risk of hypertension and diabetes.

After that, though, what is the professor's main assertion?

I watched the entire video as well as did some research on her speeches. It seems to me that she is saying that the trauma of slavery was passed down from generation to generation. The slaves passed down their families all of the pain and it never healed. Also she seems to be really stressing the fact that the oppressors did everything they could to justify their treatment of slaves. Saying the slaves didn't have souls, they didn't feel pain and they were not bothered about the slave owners selling their children and breaking up the families. The repercussions of those atrocities never healed and AA still perpetuate the ills of slavery. I loved the example she gave about how AA complement their children compared to white parents.. I find myself doing exactly what she described. I never knew why, but she perfectly explained it. It really spoke to me.

I do wonder what her white peers say about her beliefs. I would imagine that some find her very controversial. No matter, I am drinking her Kool-aid and I am so glad OP posted this. I purchased one of her books from Amazon today. I mean just the information about The Statue of Liberty was stunning to me. I really wonder how many people know that it was meant to be a symbol of freedom from slavery, not this welcoming immigrant thing. How many people know about the chains? That alone really inspired me to investigate more.

Can you share some examples?

[cut for length]

Eh. Aren't most parents in two groups, those who sing their child's praises (And we label them obnoxious helicopter parents of snowflakes) or those who downplay it. I'm never going to sing my child's praises to others because I find it unnecessary and rude. Many cultures have a strong sense of humility. There is no bragging to anyone outside of the family as it would be seen as crass.

So I agree that this *might* be rooted in historical experience, but you cannot prove that most black families (who specifically downplay their child's accomplishments) are doing it for the reason of protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that there are epigenetic effects experienced as much as two generations removed from the one who experienced extreme trauma, which can include changes in handling cortisol, increasing the risk for hypertension and metabolic syndrome. African Americans have an increased risk of hypertension and diabetes.

After that, though, what is the professor's main assertion?

I watched the entire video as well as did some research on her speeches. It seems to me that she is saying that the trauma of slavery was passed down from generation to generation. The slaves passed down their families all of the pain and it never healed. Also she seems to be really stressing the fact that the oppressors did everything they could to justify their treatment of slaves. Saying the slaves didn't have souls, they didn't feel pain and they were not bothered about the slave owners selling their children and breaking up the families. The repercussions of those atrocities never healed and AA still perpetuate the ills of slavery. I loved the example she gave about how AA complement their children compared to white parents.. I find myself doing exactly what she described. I never knew why, but she perfectly explained it. It really spoke to me.

I do wonder what her white peers say about her beliefs. I would imagine that some find her very controversial. No matter, I am drinking her Kool-aid and I am so glad OP posted this. I purchased one of her books from Amazon today. I mean just the information about The Statue of Liberty was stunning to me. I really wonder how many people know that it was meant to be a symbol of freedom from slavery, not this welcoming immigrant thing. How many people know about the chains? That alone really inspired me to investigate more.

Can you share some examples?

I'm not a great writer, but I will try to describe it.

Becky (white lady) and Sharonda (black lady) are friends. They both have a sons that are in Gifted/Talented classes. End of school year comes, both boys receive top awards, straight A's, in essence both are top students. They are both attending school ceremony where both kids are getting recognized.

Becky: Hey Sharonda, nice to you. Come sit beside me.

Sharonda: Hi Becky, so good to see you too. Thanks, I will sit. I'm so happy the school year is over. Hey, Ethan is doing so well. Straight A's again. You must be so proud!

Becky: Yeah, I know, Right. I'm pushing him to take as many AP courses as possible. He really enjoys the classes, and thrives on the challenges of the curriculum.

Sharonda: That's wonderful. He's such a smart kid.

Becky: But hey, Marcus is up there too. Ethan says Marcus got straight A's too, and they take all their AP's together. He won the science fair, robotics competition, and is tops on the debate team. Ethan said that Marcus is the smartest kid in the class. Plus he plays football. How does he do it?

(Okay here is comes.)

Sharonda: Oh, girl it's been a total struggle for him and me. He's so lazy (he's really not), I have to push him every night to get his work done (he actually does it with ease). I don't know what I'm gonna do with that boy. I'll be lucky if he get's a scholarship to Strayer University (Sharonda has already applied for ED at HYP). I want him to focus on sports, maybe that will increase his scholarship chances.

Becky: Oh Sharonda, your selling him short. Didn't he get a 2399 on the SAT?

Sharonda: Yeah he did, but he studied for 3 years and took 18 practice tests. If I didn't make him do that, no telling what he would have received. I'm going to make him take it again! (This is true.)

Dr. Joy DeGruy says that Sharonda is downplaying the her son's achievements much like a slave mother would do of her son to the plantation owner in an effort to keep her son from being sold.

Master: Sallie Mae, little Anthony is growing so big. He does such a wonderful job taking care of the pigs and feeding the horses. He's out there from sun up to sun down--I never seen a boy work so hard. And I heard he learnt how to read all on his own.

Sallie Mae: Oh No Master!!! You wrong about him. He a lazy bag a'bones. I have to drag him out of bed and he eating everything he picking. He don't know how to read. Who ever told you that is lying to you. Anthony can't even spell his name. He don't wanna do nothing round here. You making a mistake about him.

Dr. Joy DeGruy says the slave speaks this way about her child because she doesn't want the master to give her child any attention or be noticed in any way for fear that he would be taken from her and sold.

I do the exactly same thing when people say the same things about my DD. I don't know why. It's really weird. My DD is extremely gracious and polite. And also really smart. She is the "only" in her class at a private school and she was the only child to get straight A's the whole year in both 5th and 6th grade out of 53 kids. People comment to me about her behavior all the time. Her friends' parents praise her behavior at play dates. Her BF's parents actually send their DD to us for the summer because they say their DD behaves so much better after spending time with our DD. Almost every time someone says something to me, I say something like "Oh, yeah, I really work on it. It's not easy." Sometimes, I'll add something like "Yeah, she's a good girl now, but she'll be on the stripper pole at 17!" (Yes, I have actually said that!) Why do I do that? I don't know, I mean I really don't. Her teachers will say "Larla is so engaged in class. She's always prepared, follows directions, and never complains." I'll come back with "Well, I can't get her to pay attention to me at all at home. I have to force her to read books and all she wants to do is play on her phone. She never listens!

I compliment DD all the time to her. I am so proud of my DD. She is a wonderful girl. She will do great things, and I am determined for her to go to Stanford, Harvey Mudd or Columbia! But to others, I never sing her praises. My mother did the same thing to me and my brother. After hearing Dr. Joy, I asked my mother about this and she said her mother did the same thing to her and siblings. She said her mother never complimented her to others, said she didn't want them to get " The Big Head". But I actually feel differently, I want my DD to get the Big Head! I want her to shine. I want her to know that she is smart and can do anything. But why don't I say that to other people about her? (Sorry so long-but I'm not the best at articulating/writing out my points.)

I'll disagree with a PP and say I think this is fascinating and thank you for explaining it. It makes total sense to me and is a really deep insight into the psyche of parenting. Do you think it's just black women who do this or do you find it applies to black fathers as well?

You're totally right though. I do not know white people who backhandedly disparage their kids' accomplishments even though they are proud. There are assholes who AREN'T proud which is another animal but yeah, white people as a whole don't feel the need to downplay that which they are proud of. Really interesting to think about.

[Anonymous]

I am deeply skeptical of non-medical professionals who insist on using the honorific "Dr." the way she appears to.

That said, she does seem to have a real doctorate from Portland State University. Her bachelor's and master's degrees also came from the same university (which is really unusual, btw).

The book appears to be self-published, BTW. Uptone Press was formed 10 years ago in Portland, with an address that was probably her home at the time: http://www.oregoncorporates.com/corp/334790.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that there are epigenetic effects experienced as much as two generations removed from the one who experienced extreme trauma, which can include changes in handling cortisol, increasing the risk for hypertension and metabolic syndrome. African Americans have an increased risk of hypertension and diabetes.

After that, though, what is the professor's main assertion?

I watched the entire video as well as did some research on her speeches. It seems to me that she is saying that the trauma of slavery was passed down from generation to generation. The slaves passed down their families all of the pain and it never healed. Also she seems to be really stressing the fact that the oppressors did everything they could to justify their treatment of slaves. Saying the slaves didn't have souls, they didn't feel pain and they were not bothered about the slave owners selling their children and breaking up the families. The repercussions of those atrocities never healed and AA still perpetuate the ills of slavery. I loved the example she gave about how AA complement their children compared to white parents.. I find myself doing exactly what she described. I never knew why, but she perfectly explained it. It really spoke to me.

I do wonder what her white peers say about her beliefs. I would imagine that some find her very controversial. No matter, I am drinking her Kool-aid and I am so glad OP posted this. I purchased one of her books from Amazon today. I mean just the information about The Statue of Liberty was stunning to me. I really wonder how many people know that it was meant to be a symbol of freedom from slavery, not this welcoming immigrant thing. How many people know about the chains? That alone really inspired me to investigate more.

Can you share some examples?

I'm not a great writer, but I will try to describe it.

Becky (white lady) and Sharonda (black lady) are friends. They both have a sons that are in Gifted/Talented classes. End of school year comes, both boys receive top awards, straight A's, in essence both are top students. They are both attending school ceremony where both kids are getting recognized.

Becky: Hey Sharonda, nice to you. Come sit beside me.

Sharonda: Hi Becky, so good to see you too. Thanks, I will sit. I'm so happy the school year is over. Hey, Ethan is doing so well. Straight A's again. You must be so proud!

Becky: Yeah, I know, Right. I'm pushing him to take as many AP courses as possible. He really enjoys the classes, and thrives on the challenges of the curriculum.

Sharonda: That's wonderful. He's such a smart kid.

Becky: But hey, Marcus is up there too. Ethan says Marcus got straight A's too, and they take all their AP's together. He won the science fair, robotics competition, and is tops on the debate team. Ethan said that Marcus is the smartest kid in the class. Plus he plays football. How does he do it?

(Okay here is comes.)

Sharonda: Oh, girl it's been a total struggle for him and me. He's so lazy (he's really not), I have to push him every night to get his work done (he actually does it with ease). I don't know what I'm gonna do with that boy. I'll be lucky if he get's a scholarship to Strayer University (Sharonda has already applied for ED at HYP). I want him to focus on sports, maybe that will increase his scholarship chances.

Becky: Oh Sharonda, your selling him short. Didn't he get a 2399 on the SAT?

Sharonda: Yeah he did, but he studied for 3 years and took 18 practice tests. If I didn't make him do that, no telling what he would have received. I'm going to make him take it again! (This is true.)

Dr. Joy DeGruy says that Sharonda is downplaying the her son's achievements much like a slave mother would do of her son to the plantation owner in an effort to keep her son from being sold.

Master: Sallie Mae, little Anthony is growing so big. He does such a wonderful job taking care of the pigs and feeding the horses. He's out there from sun up to sun down--I never seen a boy work so hard. And I heard he learnt how to read all on his own.

Sallie Mae: Oh No Master!!! You wrong about him. He a lazy bag a'bones. I have to drag him out of bed and he eating everything he picking. He don't know how to read. Who ever told you that is lying to you. Anthony can't even spell his name. He don't wanna do nothing round here. You making a mistake about him.

Dr. Joy DeGruy says the slave speaks this way about her child because she doesn't want the master to give her child any attention or be noticed in any way for fear that he would be taken from her and sold.

I do the exactly same thing when people say the same things about my DD. I don't know why. It's really weird. My DD is extremely gracious and polite. And also really smart. She is the "only" in her class at a private school and she was the only child to get straight A's the whole year in both 5th and 6th grade out of 53 kids. People comment to me about her behavior all the time. Her friends' parents praise her behavior at play dates. Her BF's parents actually send their DD to us for the summer because they say their DD behaves so much better after spending time with our DD. Almost every time someone says something to me, I say something like "Oh, yeah, I really work on it. It's not easy." Sometimes, I'll add something like "Yeah, she's a good girl now, but she'll be on the stripper pole at 17!" (Yes, I have actually said that!) Why do I do that? I don't know, I mean I really don't. Her teachers will say "Larla is so engaged in class. She's always prepared, follows directions, and never complains." I'll come back with "Well, I can't get her to pay attention to me at all at home. I have to force her to read books and all she wants to do is play on her phone. She never listens!

I compliment DD all the time to her. I am so proud of my DD. She is a wonderful girl. She will do great things, and I am determined for her to go to Stanford, Harvey Mudd or Columbia! But to others, I never sing her praises. My mother did the same thing to me and my brother. After hearing Dr. Joy, I asked my mother about this and she said her mother did the same thing to her and siblings. She said her mother never complimented her to others, said she didn't want them to get " The Big Head". But I actually feel differently, I want my DD to get the Big Head! I want her to shine. I want her to know that she is smart and can do anything. But why don't I say that to other people about her? (Sorry so long-but I'm not the best at articulating/writing out my points.)

I'll disagree with a PP and say I think this is fascinating and thank you for explaining it. It makes total sense to me and is a really deep insight into the psyche of parenting. Do you think it's just black women who do this or do you find it applies to black fathers as well?

You're totally right though. I do not know white people who backhandedly disparage their kids' accomplishments even though they are proud. There are assholes who AREN'T proud which is another animal but yeah, white people as a whole don't feel the need to downplay that which they are proud of. Really interesting to think about.

I find it fascinating too and am appreciative PP took the time to write out a narrative. My mom did this to me too, still does. And I'm white. I think she was treated the same way by her mother so it was (I'm breaking it) cyclical in our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post is critical of the author and the concept, but for those who agree or disagree with the author, I thought the second-to-last comment on March 20, 2015 at 4:06 PM was excellent.

http://www.mindingthecampus.org/2014/09/post-traumatic-slave-syndrome/

That poster was right on. I think this exactly explains many of the ills in these communities. Seriously.

Taken from this post:

"I found out very early in life that if you want to get along with most White people who are in a position of power you had better not express any negative emotions about race, rape or poverty. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT was the message. If you even hint that there is a culture of exploitation that targets these populations you will be hooted down as an excuse maker, ungrateful, living in the past and un-American."

I think this statement is so true. My parents (especially my AA father) expressed this to me and my brother often, and I often express a similar message to my 12 year old DD unconsciously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that there are epigenetic effects experienced as much as two generations removed from the one who experienced extreme trauma, which can include changes in handling cortisol, increasing the risk for hypertension and metabolic syndrome. African Americans have an increased risk of hypertension and diabetes.

After that, though, what is the professor's main assertion?

I watched the entire video as well as did some research on her speeches. It seems to me that she is saying that the trauma of slavery was passed down from generation to generation. The slaves passed down their families all of the pain and it never healed. Also she seems to be really stressing the fact that the oppressors did everything they could to justify their treatment of slaves. Saying the slaves didn't have souls, they didn't feel pain and they were not bothered about the slave owners selling their children and breaking up the families. The repercussions of those atrocities never healed and AA still perpetuate the ills of slavery. I loved the example she gave about how AA complement their children compared to white parents.. I find myself doing exactly what she described. I never knew why, but she perfectly explained it. It really spoke to me.

I do wonder what her white peers say about her beliefs. I would imagine that some find her very controversial. No matter, I am drinking her Kool-aid and I am so glad OP posted this. I purchased one of her books from Amazon today. I mean just the information about The Statue of Liberty was stunning to me. I really wonder how many people know that it was meant to be a symbol of freedom from slavery, not this welcoming immigrant thing. How many people know about the chains? That alone really inspired me to investigate more.

Can you share some examples?

I'm not a great writer, but I will try to describe it.

Becky (white lady) and Sharonda (black lady) are friends. They both have a sons that are in Gifted/Talented classes. End of school year comes, both boys receive top awards, straight A's, in essence both are top students. They are both attending school ceremony where both kids are getting recognized.

Becky: Hey Sharonda, nice to you. Come sit beside me.

Sharonda: Hi Becky, so good to see you too. Thanks, I will sit. I'm so happy the school year is over. Hey, Ethan is doing so well. Straight A's again. You must be so proud!

Becky: Yeah, I know, Right. I'm pushing him to take as many AP courses as possible. He really enjoys the classes, and thrives on the challenges of the curriculum.

Sharonda: That's wonderful. He's such a smart kid.

Becky: But hey, Marcus is up there too. Ethan says Marcus got straight A's too, and they take all their AP's together. He won the science fair, robotics competition, and is tops on the debate team. Ethan said that Marcus is the smartest kid in the class. Plus he plays football. How does he do it?

(Okay here is comes.)

Sharonda: Oh, girl it's been a total struggle for him and me. He's so lazy (he's really not), I have to push him every night to get his work done (he actually does it with ease). I don't know what I'm gonna do with that boy. I'll be lucky if he get's a scholarship to Strayer University (Sharonda has already applied for ED at HYP). I want him to focus on sports, maybe that will increase his scholarship chances.

Becky: Oh Sharonda, your selling him short. Didn't he get a 2399 on the SAT?

Sharonda: Yeah he did, but he studied for 3 years and took 18 practice tests. If I didn't make him do that, no telling what he would have received. I'm going to make him take it again! (This is true.)

Dr. Joy DeGruy says that Sharonda is downplaying the her son's achievements much like a slave mother would do of her son to the plantation owner in an effort to keep her son from being sold.

Master: Sallie Mae, little Anthony is growing so big. He does such a wonderful job taking care of the pigs and feeding the horses. He's out there from sun up to sun down--I never seen a boy work so hard. And I heard he learnt how to read all on his own.

Sallie Mae: Oh No Master!!! You wrong about him. He a lazy bag a'bones. I have to drag him out of bed and he eating everything he picking. He don't know how to read. Who ever told you that is lying to you. Anthony can't even spell his name. He don't wanna do nothing round here. You making a mistake about him.

Dr. Joy DeGruy says the slave speaks this way about her child because she doesn't want the master to give her child any attention or be noticed in any way for fear that he would be taken from her and sold.

I do the exactly same thing when people say the same things about my DD. I don't know why. It's really weird. My DD is extremely gracious and polite. And also really smart. She is the "only" in her class at a private school and she was the only child to get straight A's the whole year in both 5th and 6th grade out of 53 kids. People comment to me about her behavior all the time. Her friends' parents praise her behavior at play dates. Her BF's parents actually send their DD to us for the summer because they say their DD behaves so much better after spending time with our DD. Almost every time someone says something to me, I say something like "Oh, yeah, I really work on it. It's not easy." Sometimes, I'll add something like "Yeah, she's a good girl now, but she'll be on the stripper pole at 17!" (Yes, I have actually said that!) Why do I do that? I don't know, I mean I really don't. Her teachers will say "Larla is so engaged in class. She's always prepared, follows directions, and never complains." I'll come back with "Well, I can't get her to pay attention to me at all at home. I have to force her to read books and all she wants to do is play on her phone. She never listens!

I compliment DD all the time to her. I am so proud of my DD. She is a wonderful girl. She will do great things, and I am determined for her to go to Stanford, Harvey Mudd or Columbia! But to others, I never sing her praises. My mother did the same thing to me and my brother. After hearing Dr. Joy, I asked my mother about this and she said her mother did the same thing to her and siblings. She said her mother never complimented her to others, said she didn't want them to get " The Big Head". But I actually feel differently, I want my DD to get the Big Head! I want her to shine. I want her to know that she is smart and can do anything. But why don't I say that to other people about her? (Sorry so long-but I'm not the best at articulating/writing out my points.)

I agree with what Dr. Degruy said. I think also there's probably an element of AAs not wanting to seem "uppity". Being "prideful" could get you killed in the past.

[Anonymous]

Agree with a lot of points being made about censorship, and some points about PTSD. This thread is 3 years old however, and I’m not sure how much else has changed in the public teaching of this work. I’d be curious to know the influence of the current political environment.

A lot of awareness arond diversity was encouraged in 2015, but now it seems in some circles diversity is a loaded and touchy subject again because of the recent emotional undercurrents associated with negative current events.

[Anonymous]

If you really want a certain book to be on the shelves of your local library, then buy it with your own money and donate it to your local library.