A friend/neighbor treated my teenage daughter like a slave when she babysat for them

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I read these posts, I just think about my grandmothers -- one who came over from Ireland at age 12 and worked in a cigarette factory and the other who came from Germany as a tween as an orphan and was essentially an indentured servant working in a household to earn her keep.

We are raising a seriously spoiled, out-of-touch generation.

This has nothing to do with the situation of OP's daughter. When I worked in a deli during high school, I expected to clean the bathrooms, counters, mop the floor. When I worked as a babysitter during that same period, I expected to play with and clean up after the kids, but not clean refrigerators and do laundry. Different jobs have different expectations, it has nothing to do with a "spoiled, out-of-touch generation."

Umm, wrong.

Kids used to do what was asked, especially if they were getting paid (higher than min. wage as a PP noted). Now they come home and cry to mommy who posts on a chat board about "slavery."

Cleaning out a fridge is nasty. Definitely not on a generic babysitter duty list.

True, but there's a good chance the mom actually said something like, oh could you wipe down this one shelf when you take the fruit out? Who rally knows, cause OP is a little over-dramatic.

[Anonymous]

I would be shocked if the neighbor really told the girl to "clean out the fridge."

BS.

[Anonymous]

My nanny cleans out my fridge on occasion and does laundry. Because this is what we agreed upon before hand and I pay her to do these tasks. So your issue isn't the tasks really. Or at least it shouldn't be. It's that they weren't agreed upon ahead of time by both parties. I think this is a teaching moment for your kid. It's a chance to practice how to handle it when an employer asks you to do something that seems outside of the scope of the job you were given or wasn't agreed to ahead of time. It's practice on setting boundaries and speaking up for herself. Better to practice on a neighbor while babysitting.

I think your reaction, as the adult, is overdramatic and unnecessary. If your friend asks her to babysit again, coach her on what to say. "Thanks Mrs. Smith, I'd love to babysit but if you'd like to do any extras like cleaning or laundry my rate will be $20/hr." Or "Thanks Mrs. Smith, I'd love to babysit but just to be clear I don't do any cleaning or laundry. That way I can focus on the kids."

She's 15. She is old enough to empower to start navigating this stuff on her own with your guidance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I read these posts, I just think about my grandmothers -- one who came over from Ireland at age 12 and worked in a cigarette factory and the other who came from Germany as a tween as an orphan and was essentially an indentured servant working in a household to earn her keep.

We are raising a seriously spoiled, out-of-touch generation.

This has nothing to do with the situation of OP's daughter. When I worked in a deli during high school, I expected to clean the bathrooms, counters, mop the floor. When I worked as a babysitter during that same period, I expected to play with and clean up after the kids, but not clean refrigerators and do laundry. Different jobs have different expectations, it has nothing to do with a "spoiled, out-of-touch generation."

Umm, wrong.

Kids used to do what was asked, especially if they were getting paid (higher than min. wage as a PP noted). Now they come home and cry to mommy who posts on a chat board about "slavery."

Cleaning out a fridge is nasty. Definitely not on a generic babysitter duty list.

True, but there's a good chance the mom actually said something like, oh could you wipe down this one shelf when you take the fruit out? Who rally knows, cause OP is a little over-dramatic.

When I post, I post as accurately as possible. So I assume others do until proven otherwise. I'll take OP at her word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I read these posts, I just think about my grandmothers -- one who came over from Ireland at age 12 and worked in a cigarette factory and the other who came from Germany as a tween as an orphan and was essentially an indentured servant working in a household to earn her keep.

We are raising a seriously spoiled, out-of-touch generation.

This has nothing to do with the situation of OP's daughter. When I worked in a deli during high school, I expected to clean the bathrooms, counters, mop the floor. When I worked as a babysitter during that same period, I expected to play with and clean up after the kids, but not clean refrigerators and do laundry. Different jobs have different expectations, it has nothing to do with a "spoiled, out-of-touch generation."

Umm, wrong.

Kids used to do what was asked, especially if they were getting paid (higher than min. wage as a PP noted). Now they come home and cry to mommy who posts on a chat board about "slavery."

Cleaning out a fridge is nasty. Definitely not on a generic babysitter duty list.

True, but there's a good chance the mom actually said something like, oh could you wipe down this one shelf when you take the fruit out? Who rally knows, cause OP is a little over-dramatic.

When I post, I post as accurately as possible. So I assume others do until proven otherwise. I'll take OP at her word.

Really? You take the OP at her word? So you think her daughter was treated like a slave?

Do you know what slavery is?

Google "Cocoa" and "child slavery" and educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

i babysat all through HS and would happily straighten up once the kids were in bed. It's all I ask of a sitter now that I have a kid of my own. I cannot imagine asking a sitter to do my family's laundry or do actual cleaning. That's nuts and well outside the scope of babysitting. Hell, it's outside the scope of most normal nanny duties.

I wouldn't say anything, but I also wouldn't want my kid to babysit for that family again. I wouldn't purposefully bring it up with other moms of babysitting girls (if that's your circle) but if asked, I would mention that anyone sitting for this family should clarify rates and expectations in advance. That's probably more than enough to make a fellow parent or kid give them the side eye and decide it isn't worth it.

I think the rate sheet is a great idea and Id be super impressed by any sitter who presented that to me and Id be happy to take advantage of extra services.

"Slave" is totally OTT and OP sounds pretty dramatic, but I think the other mom was completely in the wrong to expect the babysitter to do those extra jobs.

[Anonymous]

People on this forum are nuts. Babysitters should not be asked to clean out fridges. That is ludicrous. As some PPs noted, I don't ask my nanny to things like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will make it so easy for your DD to say she's not available next time crazy lady asks her to babysit. I'm sorry you lost a real friend (now you'll be reduced to fake friends or friends of convenience and that's probably fine).

This is it. Nothing more or less. Crazies out today, that's for sure.

[Anonymous]

I'm curious if the crazy lady is SAH, WOH and her HHI. But I'm afraid to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People on this forum are nuts. Babysitters should not be asked to clean out fridges. That is ludicrous. As some PPs noted, I don't ask my nanny to things like that.

The only person who thinks the request was reasonable is perhaps the PP who is nostalgic about the 'old days' of teen factory workers and indentured servitude where kids did not complain. Everyone else is saying the request, if true, is out of line and the appropriate response is to no longer accept these jobs or get compensated more if she is willing to do them. Also, people are mentioning that it is over the top to call it slavery, since it wasn't. That is all.

[Anonymous]

I've been a nanny for 15 years. I charge 10 per hr. I do all laundry and I clean out the fridge maybe 1-2 times per month. But as a babysitter I would be upset if I showed up told them my price and then was thrown a curve ball with these tasks.

[Anonymous]

I hate these threads where OP posts and never comes back. Don't post if you don't want to engage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious if the crazy lady is SAH, WOH and her HHI. But I'm afraid to ask.

I think I am the "crazy" lady you are referring to - I WAHM and WOHM and my HHI is in the mid 200Ks.

I think there are a few other "crazies" posting too.

BTW -- I didn't defend the neighbor for her request -- I am simply put off by the way the OP and her daughter dealt with this very minor curve ball in life.

We are raising come very easily hurt and non-resilient kids. And parents don't help by overreacting to non-events.

Clean the fridge, don't take another job there and move on. Life lesson. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People on this forum are nuts. Babysitters should not be asked to clean out fridges. That is ludicrous. As some PPs noted, I don't ask my nanny to things like that.

The only person who thinks the request was reasonable is perhaps the PP who is nostalgic about the 'old days' of teen factory workers and indentured servitude where kids did not complain. Everyone else is saying the request, if true, is out of line and the appropriate response is to no longer accept these jobs or get compensated more if she is willing to do them. Also, people are mentioning that it is over the top to call it slavery, since it wasn't. That is all.

Women be crazy!

I am not nostalgic, I am simply pointing out that you can do one hour of hard work and survive!

I mean c'mon, she had to clean out a fridge! Once!

Big flipping whoop.

I swear some of you moms would put your kids in therapy if somebody looked cross-eyed at them.