Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

It means my mother told me to stand up for myself. To make clear when an advance was unwanted. She didn't talk to the principal for me and call the police. So when I grew up and faced unwanted male attention in the real world I was able to handle myself.

Ok, that's important, but if nothing happens to the young man, he and his buddies learn that this type of stuff is funny/acceptable. And then women are on the defense everywhere, forever.

Honestly I don't think anything needs to happen. If it were me in this exact situation my older brother would probably have threatened him. Which would go way further than this girls mommy getting his mommy and the principal involved.

The good old days where male protective figures looked for you and your dad waited on a porch with a shot gun.

And I grew up just fine. A strong minded woman who is confident in fending off unwanted attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus. Haven't read all of the responses. I don't think the lid should be arrested, but the school isn't going to just give me his address and parents' number. How am I supposed to contact them? School is over.

How about let it go.

How about talk to your daughter and say in life (fair or not) sometimes we get unwanted advances and give her the tools to deal with them.

Let it go? That's a terrible lesson.

I have discussed it with her. I did before she started middle school. She reacted like I suggested.

Does anyone have advice on contacting his parents?

[Anonymous]

The pearl clutching chicken littles in this thread make me sad for our society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

It means my mother told me to stand up for myself. To make clear when an advance was unwanted. She didn't talk to the principal for me and call the police. So when I grew up and faced unwanted male attention in the real world I was able to handle myself.

Ok, that's important, but if nothing happens to the young man, he and his buddies learn that this type of stuff is funny/acceptable. And then women are on the defense everywhere, forever.

Honestly I don't think anything needs to happen. If it were me in this exact situation my older brother would probably have threatened him. Which would go way further than this girls mommy getting his mommy and the principal involved.

The good old days where male protective figures looked for you and your dad waited on a porch with a shot gun.

And I grew up just fine. A strong minded woman who is confident in fending off unwanted attention.

Yeah... I don't think you're fully understanding what other people are saying here...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

It means my mother told me to stand up for myself. To make clear when an advance was unwanted. She didn't talk to the principal for me and call the police. So when I grew up and faced unwanted male attention in the real world I was able to handle myself.

So if a man slaps your butt today at work, how are you going to stand up for yourself? Are you not going to report him? Is that what OP should teach her daughter, that boys will be boys and it's ridiculous to make a big deal out of unwanted touching?

If a man slaps your butt at work, you report him to HR. If a 12 yr old boy slaps your butt, you hit him, yell at him, and let your parents/teacher know.

However a 12 yr old is not someone that the police need to be called in. They're all young and need to learn how to interact with the opposite genders. Its a learning opportunity for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus. Haven't read all of the responses. I don't think the lid should be arrested, but the school isn't going to just give me his address and parents' number. How am I supposed to contact them? School is over.

How about let it go.

How about talk to your daughter and say in life (fair or not) sometimes we get unwanted advances and give her the tools to deal with them.

Let it go? That's a terrible lesson.

I have discussed it with her. I did before she started middle school. She reacted like I suggested.

Does anyone have advice on contacting his parents?

And how do you think that conversation will go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus. Haven't read all of the responses. I don't think the lid should be arrested, but the school isn't going to just give me his address and parents' number. How am I supposed to contact them? School is over.

How about let it go.

How about talk to your daughter and say in life (fair or not) sometimes we get unwanted advances and give her the tools to deal with them.

Let it go? That's a terrible lesson.

I have discussed it with her. I did before she started middle school. She reacted like I suggested.

Does anyone have advice on contacting his parents?

Do you have their contact information? #1 be very calm, even-keeled about it, just act like you wanted them to know, not like you're angry at them or think they are bad parents, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

It means my mother told me to stand up for myself. To make clear when an advance was unwanted. She didn't talk to the principal for me and call the police. So when I grew up and faced unwanted male attention in the real world I was able to handle myself.

Ok, that's important, but if nothing happens to the young man, he and his buddies learn that this type of stuff is funny/acceptable. And then women are on the defense everywhere, forever.

Honestly I don't think anything needs to happen. If it were me in this exact situation my older brother would probably have threatened him. Which would go way further than this girls mommy getting his mommy and the principal involved.

The good old days where male protective figures looked for you and your dad waited on a porch with a shot gun.

And I grew up just fine. A strong minded woman who is confident in fending off unwanted attention.

Yeah... I don't think you're fully understanding what other people are saying here...

Oh I understand just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

It means my mother told me to stand up for myself. To make clear when an advance was unwanted. She didn't talk to the principal for me and call the police. So when I grew up and faced unwanted male attention in the real world I was able to handle myself.

So if a man slaps your butt today at work, how are you going to stand up for yourself? Are you not going to report him? Is that what OP should teach her daughter, that boys will be boys and it's ridiculous to make a big deal out of unwanted touching?

If a man slaps your butt at work, you report him to HR. If a 12 yr old boy slaps your butt, you hit him, yell at him, and let your parents/teacher know.

However a 12 yr old is not someone that the police need to be called in. They're all young and need to learn how to interact with the opposite genders. Its a learning opportunity for everyone.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

It means my mother told me to stand up for myself. To make clear when an advance was unwanted. She didn't talk to the principal for me and call the police. So when I grew up and faced unwanted male attention in the real world I was able to handle myself.

So if a man slaps your butt today at work, how are you going to stand up for yourself? Are you not going to report him? Is that what OP should teach her daughter, that boys will be boys and it's ridiculous to make a big deal out of unwanted touching?

If a man slaps your butt at work, you report him to HR. If a 12 yr old boy slaps your butt, you hit him, yell at him, and let your parents/teacher know.

However a 12 yr old is not someone that the police need to be called in. They're all young and need to learn how to interact with the opposite genders. Its a learning opportunity for everyone.

I think there was a consensus that the police DO NOT need to be called, the question is whether the OP should inform the school and the boy's parents.

[Anonymous]

This was a stupid thing that kids of this age are apt to do. However, stupid kids need lessons from adults on how to behave. Particularly stupid kids who are stupid enough to do this right in front of adults. Come on people. Kid should be busted and dd should be taught that adults take unwanted touching seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

It means my mother told me to stand up for myself. To make clear when an advance was unwanted. She didn't talk to the principal for me and call the police. So when I grew up and faced unwanted male attention in the real world I was able to handle myself.

So if a man slaps your butt today at work, how are you going to stand up for yourself? Are you not going to report him? Is that what OP should teach her daughter, that boys will be boys and it's ridiculous to make a big deal out of unwanted touching?

If a man slapped my butt at work, I would first and foremost stand up for myself and tell him how inappropriate it was. Then I would report it to HR. Now depending on where I work, there could be social consequences for turning in a fellow employee but as a mature adult I would be able to handle that and anticipate them to some extent.

Your daughter on the other hand could get labeled unfairly, and turning in the group of boys could get her even more unwanted attention- I know that is not fair but it is how woman are treated. That is why folks are asking you to empower you daughter- not for he to take it, not to excuse the behavior. BU woman are harrassed their whole lives, it won't be the first time sadly she has to experience something like this.

[Anonymous]

I've had my butt slapped in middle school. I lived.

I'm sure plenty of boys have slapped butts in middle school and didn't grow up to be racists.

This is really silly.

[Anonymous]

In life you can only control your actions/thoughts/feelings/words. It is an important lesson for your daughter to learn.

Empower her.

[Anonymous]

If a man slaps your butt at work, you report him to HR. If a 12 yr old boy slaps your butt, you hit him, yell at him, and let your parents/teacher know.

This. And it's not the end of the world--for him or for you. When I was 12, I had my butt slapped. I also kicked a guy in balls in the swimming pool when he said something mean to me.

I was in the wrong there too.

Life continued apace.