Poll - if you were the youngest or oldest of your school class..

[Anonymous]

My wife and I have fall birthdays. We did well academically but as pp said, we were almost too old socially for the class.

[Anonymous]

I was oldest and quite honestly I don't think it affected me in any way. I think people make way too much of this.

[Anonymous]

I was a November birthday so among the oldest in my class. I am naturally timid and think I would have been much more so if I had been on the younger side of my class. I took a year between undergrad and law school so was about 2 years older than most of my law school class. I do think I approached law school more maturely than many of my peers. Partner now, no regrets.

There is an associate in the firm who recently told me that his parents held him back in K. (It came up because I was talking about my decision to hold my son back.) Both of his parents were teachers. I don’t know what school was like for him but he is remarkably mature in comparison to his peers at this point.

I have a friend who takes considerable pride in having skipped a grade. She is very smart, did very well academically and appears to be on track for partner. The only con I see there is that achieving milestones ahead of others is how she defines herself. It makes her ambitious, which is fine, but also results in some poor judgment, such as buying the really nice car and house that she can’t afford yet or being offended by having to answer to higher-ups. She seems to enjoy achievement but not necessarily the intellectual process of being a lawyer every day. Not sure if any of this has to do with skipping a grade but there has always seemed to be a correlation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really more about long term impact going into K much younger than his peers and always being the youngest until he's college bound. So, if you were the youngest/oldest of your class, how do you feel your experience affected you from your age/grade level in school later in life? How did it impact you with grades, socially, professionally at a much later age? Do you think you would have benefited more if you were youngest/oldest?

It never occurred to me that I might hold a child back from starting K. I began considering it following a heart-to-heart with an older colleague with a child approaching college. She told me that she really wished she had held him back early on because he really was not ready now. There is just no way to see into the future and you will never know what the road not taken would have been like. For me, I just see little cost (other than the price of another year of pre-k and enduring all the misguided redshirting threads on DCUM) in the hold-back and material risk (i.e. all the parents who say “I wish I had”) in the on-time.

[Anonymous]

I've seen a lot more on the downsides in other threads. I think one of the biggest is that when everything comes too easily, people don't try as hard.

[Anonymous]

I agree completely. I'm one of the young ones who previously responded and I've always preferred having a bit of an "underdog" mentality. But some of this may be personality -- could have nothing to do with age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really more about long term impact going into K much younger than his peers and always being the youngest until he's college bound. So, if you were the youngest/oldest of your class, how do you feel your experience affected you from your age/grade level in school later in life? How did it impact you with grades, socially, professionally at a much later age? Do you think you would have benefited more if you were youngest/oldest?

It never occurred to me that I might hold a child back from starting K. I began considering it following a heart-to-heart with an older colleague with a child approaching college. She told me that she really wished she had held him back early on because he really was not ready now. There is just no way to see into the future and you will never know what the road not taken would have been like. For me, I just see little cost (other than the price of another year of pre-k and enduring all the misguided redshirting threads on DCUM) in the hold-back and material risk (i.e. all the parents who say “I wish I had”) in the on-time.

I think you need to re-read your post. You say that you can't see into the future, yet your entire view on redshirting changed by hearing the experience of one person. Here's the flip to that...my mom redshirted my brother and always lied to him about it, blaming it on the cutoff date changing. (She must not have figured he'd be good enough at math to figure it out later.) Anyway, by high school he was totally bored, as he's very bright. He never did the work, aced the tests, and started cutting school and doing drugs. He was shorter than his class (even though he was a year older) and then grew to be one of the tallest by the end of sophomore year. He, to this day, blames my mom for not pushing him in school and finding a better fit. Does this matter? Well, I think his confidence was shot, but he's "successful" now. He did one semester of college, and is now making $100K in a trade job. He talked about going to law school for awhile, but never pursued it.

[Anonymous]

Have to judge based on your own child. I think overwhelmingly, more people wish they had redshirted than started early.

[Anonymous]

I'm a sept bday, and went back when the montgomery county cutoff was in December. I had no trouble at all socially or academically. I knew a few kids with dec bdays who were also fine. The few kids who could drive early sophomore year were outliers.

My 5 yo DS has a July bday and started K this year. So far so good. He's a little young socially but doing very well. Redshirting seems like it should be reserved for those with true issues. Someone has to be the youngest after all, and the crazy age ranges don't help anyone, IMO.

[Anonymous]

A Sept birthday with a December cutoff was not borderline. Today it would be. Neither is a July birthday borderline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have to judge based on your own child. I think overwhelmingly, more people wish they had redshirted than started early.

We are not comparing redshirting to "starting early". We are comparing redshirting to starting on time.

[Anonymous]

As a teacher, I believe there is more to this decision than birth date.

My birthday is at the end of August. At the time our school cutoff was 8/31.

I had twin brothers that were 3 years older, and another brother 2 years older that that. I believe there is something to be said about have older siblings (if the age gap is <3 years) that keeps a child challenged and perhaps more school ready.

Also look at gender, girls tend to be a biT more mature. Can your child sit still long enough to learn? Can he follow simple directions? Does your district have full day or 1/2 day K? Can he stay focused the entire day without crashing by the afternoon?

Don't worry about if your child is the oldest or youngest, there are benefits to both. A good teacher will accommodate appropriately.

My sons both have summer birthdays. My oldest is more than a full year younger than his classmates. Yes, he is one of the shortest (ok, probably more from genetics!) but academically he is doing great. Socially, two of his closest friends are red-shirted kids.

Some more food for thought:

http://nieer.org/resources/policyreports/report5.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a full year and a half younger than some of my classmates, and still excelled academically and did well socially.

I was a girl who skipped K and placed straight into first grade, though. This was 30+ years ago.

This was me as well...although my guess is that girls can fare better with this than boys.

[Anonymous]

I was the youngest in my class, and my daughter will be too. I fared just fine, although I generally gravitated toward younger kids. If my daughter doesn't do well, I won't hesitate to hold her back. Repeating K has no stigma.

[Anonymous]

I was the youngest. Would not recommend. Socially it was difficult, especially in junior high when I was just not socially ready for what the older kids were doing. I was socially awkward, was bullied pretty badly, and really didn't catch up as far as social and emotional skills until high school.

Academically it was fine. I was actually put ahead a year from my peers for some subjects. I don't think it would have mattered if I had started a year later as far as academics; I doubt I would have found school easier than I already did. I don't really get those articles who claim that being the youngest teaches you hard work or builds character or whatever they're on about these days. At least, it doesn't match my experience. I mostly coasted through school even as the youngest. I only learned about hard work in college when I took difficult classes for the first time and nearly flunked and realized I had to learn to work or fail.

My parents, after watching me, a few years later held back my sister, who had a much easier time of things socially than I did.

I am happy with my life now, and my sister who was held back has also done well.