To Those SAH Parents Who Want to Now Enter The Workforce

[Anonymous]

Schedule poster, would you mind sharing the name of your gym? I'm a working parent and am impressed with your organizational skills, but I can't imagine bringing my kids to a gym daycare for an hour after school every day. The older ones have homework, and our gym daycare is pretty small and basic. But maybe yours is nicer? And why not just send them to school aftercare or keep them in daycare longer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schedule poster, would you mind sharing the name of your gym? I'm a working parent and am impressed with your organizational skills, but I can't imagine bringing my kids to a gym daycare for an hour after school every day. The older ones have homework, and our gym daycare is pretty small and basic. But maybe yours is nicer? And why not just send them to school aftercare or keep them in daycare longer?

Because then she couldn't pretend she was actually spending time with them. I feel sorry for her and her kids. Slow down lady - life is too short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Well, first off I'm not in school any more.

Some of the weekly prep stuff we do: To make mornings run smooth, on Sat/Sun I have all of the kids outfits for the week already picked out and pulled together. They hang on a low rung in their closets separated by hanger dividers so they can get themselves dressed each morning. On Sunday mornings, while everyone is eating breakfast, we make a weekly meal plan together. This includes breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. The kids and I also prep any food we can ahead of time - waffle batter, cut up veggies, make a batch of chili, etc. I also make lunches the night before while making dinner, which are quick since we prepped a lot on the weekend. We also do a few household chores each day so we don't have a messy/dirty house to clean on the weekend (more free time on the weekend).

I get up at 5am and my youngest usually gets up and we talk while I get ready for work. I'm at my office by 6am. My oldest calls me every morning to chat for a few minutes before heading off to school. My DH husband goes in fairly late, so he has time to make a nice breakfast and eat with the kids, play and spend one-on-one time with them, and get the oldest off to school. Then he has more time to spend one-on-one with the youngest before he takes him in to his home daycare and heads to work. He also throws in a load of laundry and lays it out on the bed for me to fold when I get home. He loads the dishwasher with breakfast dishes and runs it (has dinner dishes in it from the night before) and one or two other chores - e.g., sweeps/mops main floor. The kids also have a few chores that they do in the morning and the evenings. Mainly keeping their own rooms clean, beds made, one gathers the laundry, the other empties garbage cans. They put their own clothes away in drawers (the oldest has started hanging clothes as well).

Each evening is a little different but three of the days when I get off (330p) I pick up each kid and head straight to the gym. I do strength training for an hour. The kids go to the playroom at the gym. By this time the youngest has been in daycare for only 5hrs (a home daycare where they've been since 9 weeks old - so they are like family) and the oldest has been in a full school day. We leave the gym and come home and make dinner together, pack lunches together (I find they're more likely to eat when they've helped plan the menu and make/pack the food). If the oldest has homework that's done at the kitchen table while the youngest and I make dinner. Dinner usually take under 30 minutes because we've prepped and thawed out everything we need. Then play time, baths, storytime, and bed. After they go to bed I jump in the shower, check email, and do a household chore or two. I've emptied the dishwasher and loaded it back with dinner dishes. I've taken care of the mail - immediately gets shredded, filed to be paid, pinned on family schedule board, or filed to be scanned. All school paperwork is taken care of immediately as well - forms signed, money in an envelope, etc and straight back in backpack.

Another day I come straight home and coach my oldest on a team, then we go back and get the youngest (his longer day at home daycare) and that is my day off at the gym. We start the afternoon/evening routine.

The final day I take a class at the gym and it's late so my DH is usually home and the kids in bed by the time I go. Rest of the evening is the same. I always shower in the evening so my mornings are fast getting out the door. I also group my clothes together for the week. When I get out of my showers in the evening I lay out any under garments and jewelry (this makes it faster but also less disturbing to my sleeping DH).

Friday night is family movie or family game night - kids choice. On the weekend our kids have a few activities, but they are not over-scheduled so we have lots of free time. The house is mainly clean and tidy. I take an early morning class at the gym on Sat and a little later one on Sun. So I get in 3 days of weight training and 3 days of cardio.

I recognize that our exact schedule wouldn't work for many other families, but we sat down and looked at the things we can't/aren't changing - my DH's work schedule is not flexible, but mine is. We decided it's nice for the kids to get one-on-one time with each parent so I go in really early which also limits the time they are in daycare and I get one-on-one time as well. We focus "family" time for the few evenings DH is home a little early and the weekends. I also read up on several blogs and mags on organizing tips - both physical organization and routines.

Thank you for sharing your schedule. It is really inspiring. What blogs and mags did you read up on? I'd love to get some different ideas to see what might work best for my family. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schedule poster, would you mind sharing the name of your gym? I'm a working parent and am impressed with your organizational skills, but I can't imagine bringing my kids to a gym daycare for an hour after school every day. The older ones have homework, and our gym daycare is pretty small and basic. But maybe yours is nicer? And why not just send them to school aftercare or keep them in daycare longer?

It's Mount Vernon Athletic Club - a fairly small and strong community-based gym. All of the staff know my kids by name and they are really great with them. They have computers so if my older one needs to use one for homework it's available. I don't leave the youngest in the home daycare because it's on my way home/to the gym and I don't want to back track after the gym. I get the oldest because the youngest is fairly shy and is comforted by the oldest being there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Schedule poster, would you mind sharing the name of your gym? I'm a working parent and am impressed with your organizational skills, but I can't imagine bringing my kids to a gym daycare for an hour after school every day. The older ones have homework, and our gym daycare is pretty small and basic. But maybe yours is nicer? And why not just send them to school aftercare or keep them in daycare longer?

Because then she couldn't pretend she was actually spending time with them. I feel sorry for her and her kids. Slow down lady - life is too short.

Bitter much? I never said that the gym "counts" as time I spend with my kids. They ask to go to the gym becasue they like the staff and have made friends with other kids that are there at the same time.

Why do you feel sorry for my kids? Seriously, I'd like to know? With 2 working parents I think we do pretty good at managing our time to max out the time we spend with our kids, with each other, and on our own.

Also, not sure why I need to slow down? I have a lot of free time considering we are 2 working parents with 2 kids. What should I cut out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Schedule poster, would you mind sharing the name of your gym? I'm a working parent and am impressed with your organizational skills, but I can't imagine bringing my kids to a gym daycare for an hour after school every day. The older ones have homework, and our gym daycare is pretty small and basic. But maybe yours is nicer? And why not just send them to school aftercare or keep them in daycare longer?

Because then she couldn't pretend she was actually spending time with them. I feel sorry for her and her kids. Slow down lady - life is too short.

Bitter much? I never said that the gym "counts" as time I spend with my kids. They ask to go to the gym becasue they like the staff and have made friends with other kids that are there at the same time.

Why do you feel sorry for my kids? Seriously, I'd like to know? With 2 working parents I think we do pretty good at managing our time to max out the time we spend with our kids, with each other, and on our own.

Also, not sure why I need to slow down? I have a lot of free time considering we are 2 working parents with 2 kids. What should I cut out?

You're doing a great job! Ignore the bitter SAHM that can't do half of what you do and and doesn't even work..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Well, first off I'm not in school any more.

Some of the weekly prep stuff we do: To make mornings run smooth, on Sat/Sun I have all of the kids outfits for the week already picked out and pulled together. They hang on a low rung in their closets separated by hanger dividers so they can get themselves dressed each morning. On Sunday mornings, while everyone is eating breakfast, we make a weekly meal plan together. This includes breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. The kids and I also prep any food we can ahead of time - waffle batter, cut up veggies, make a batch of chili, etc. I also make lunches the night before while making dinner, which are quick since we prepped a lot on the weekend. We also do a few household chores each day so we don't have a messy/dirty house to clean on the weekend (more free time on the weekend).

I get up at 5am and my youngest usually gets up and we talk while I get ready for work. I'm at my office by 6am. My oldest calls me every morning to chat for a few minutes before heading off to school. My DH husband goes in fairly late, so he has time to make a nice breakfast and eat with the kids, play and spend one-on-one time with them, and get the oldest off to school. Then he has more time to spend one-on-one with the youngest before he takes him in to his home daycare and heads to work. He also throws in a load of laundry and lays it out on the bed for me to fold when I get home. He loads the dishwasher with breakfast dishes and runs it (has dinner dishes in it from the night before) and one or two other chores - e.g., sweeps/mops main floor. The kids also have a few chores that they do in the morning and the evenings. Mainly keeping their own rooms clean, beds made, one gathers the laundry, the other empties garbage cans. They put their own clothes away in drawers (the oldest has started hanging clothes as well).

Each evening is a little different but three of the days when I get off (330p) I pick up each kid and head straight to the gym. I do strength training for an hour. The kids go to the playroom at the gym. By this time the youngest has been in daycare for only 5hrs (a home daycare where they've been since 9 weeks old - so they are like family) and the oldest has been in a full school day. We leave the gym and come home and make dinner together, pack lunches together (I find they're more likely to eat when they've helped plan the menu and make/pack the food). If the oldest has homework that's done at the kitchen table while the youngest and I make dinner. Dinner usually take under 30 minutes because we've prepped and thawed out everything we need. Then play time, baths, storytime, and bed. After they go to bed I jump in the shower, check email, and do a household chore or two. I've emptied the dishwasher and loaded it back with dinner dishes. I've taken care of the mail - immediately gets shredded, filed to be paid, pinned on family schedule board, or filed to be scanned. All school paperwork is taken care of immediately as well - forms signed, money in an envelope, etc and straight back in backpack.

Another day I come straight home and coach my oldest on a team, then we go back and get the youngest (his longer day at home daycare) and that is my day off at the gym. We start the afternoon/evening routine.

The final day I take a class at the gym and it's late so my DH is usually home and the kids in bed by the time I go. Rest of the evening is the same. I always shower in the evening so my mornings are fast getting out the door. I also group my clothes together for the week. When I get out of my showers in the evening I lay out any under garments and jewelry (this makes it faster but also less disturbing to my sleeping DH).

Friday night is family movie or family game night - kids choice. On the weekend our kids have a few activities, but they are not over-scheduled so we have lots of free time. The house is mainly clean and tidy. I take an early morning class at the gym on Sat and a little later one on Sun. So I get in 3 days of weight training and 3 days of cardio.

I recognize that our exact schedule wouldn't work for many other families, but we sat down and looked at the things we can't/aren't changing - my DH's work schedule is not flexible, but mine is. We decided it's nice for the kids to get one-on-one time with each parent so I go in really early which also limits the time they are in daycare and I get one-on-one time as well. We focus "family" time for the few evenings DH is home a little early and the weekends. I also read up on several blogs and mags on organizing tips - both physical organization and routines.

Thank you for sharing your schedule. It is really inspiring. What blogs and mags did you read up on? I'd love to get some different ideas to see what might work best for my family. Thanks.

My all-time favorite is iheartorganizing.blogspot.com. There are many others on her website that I also follow but hers is a great place to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Schedule poster, would you mind sharing the name of your gym? I'm a working parent and am impressed with your organizational skills, but I can't imagine bringing my kids to a gym daycare for an hour after school every day. The older ones have homework, and our gym daycare is pretty small and basic. But maybe yours is nicer? And why not just send them to school aftercare or keep them in daycare longer?

Because then she couldn't pretend she was actually spending time with them. I feel sorry for her and her kids. Slow down lady - life is too short.

Bitter much? I never said that the gym "counts" as time I spend with my kids. They ask to go to the gym becasue they like the staff and have made friends with other kids that are there at the same time.

Why do you feel sorry for my kids? Seriously, I'd like to know? With 2 working parents I think we do pretty good at managing our time to max out the time we spend with our kids, with each other, and on our own.

Also, not sure why I need to slow down? I have a lot of free time considering we are 2 working parents with 2 kids. What should I cut out?

You're doing a great job! Ignore the bitter SAHM that can't do half of what you do and and doesn't even work..

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

There are as many ways to do this whole work/children/family thing as there are mothers. Too many of you act like there are two paths, and the opposing sides feel disdain, even disgust, for the other. The stereotyping here is completely out of control, and really, just reveals a sense of defensiveness and anger that's really crazy.

My situation is fairly common, too - left my job until my kids were off to kindergarten, and then went back to work. Re-entered easily, happily, when the time was right, and didn't miss a beat in terms of content and money. My goals were so much better defined at that point as well, due in part to part-time and freelance experiences I took on as the kids started getting older, going to pre-school, etc., and to some other things, like perspective. So four kids, two parents now working FT, and everything's cool.

Maybe those of us who have done both for several years need to be voices of reason here and not let the crazy people get so mean to people doing something different.

Every mother in my life, FT, at-home, PT, whatever, is so on the same page with how tricky it can be to time everything correctly and balance family and career and money and make decisions about what's best for their kids and themselves. In other words, sane and supportive and normal. I have to believe those sorts of mothers way outnumber the ones who are cruel and judgmental about these issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Schedule poster, would you mind sharing the name of your gym? I'm a working parent and am impressed with your organizational skills, but I can't imagine bringing my kids to a gym daycare for an hour after school every day. The older ones have homework, and our gym daycare is pretty small and basic. But maybe yours is nicer? And why not just send them to school aftercare or keep them in daycare longer?

Because then she couldn't pretend she was actually spending time with them. I feel sorry for her and her kids. Slow down lady - life is too short.

Bitter much? I never said that the gym "counts" as time I spend with my kids. They ask to go to the gym becasue they like the staff and have made friends with other kids that are there at the same time.

Why do you feel sorry for my kids? Seriously, I'd like to know? With 2 working parents I think we do pretty good at managing our time to max out the time we spend with our kids, with each other, and on our own.

Also, not sure why I need to slow down? I have a lot of free time considering we are 2 working parents with 2 kids. What should I cut out?

You're doing a great job! Ignore the bitter SAHM that can't do half of what you do and and doesn't even work..

+10000! Great job. (I do feel shitty about my lack of being able to be so on the ball though)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are as many ways to do this whole work/children/family thing as there are mothers. Too many of you act like there are two paths, and the opposing sides feel disdain, even disgust, for the other. The stereotyping here is completely out of control, and really, just reveals a sense of defensiveness and anger that's really crazy.

My situation is fairly common, too - left my job until my kids were off to kindergarten, and then went back to work. Re-entered easily, happily, when the time was right, and didn't miss a beat in terms of content and money. My goals were so much better defined at that point as well, due in part to part-time and freelance experiences I took on as the kids started getting older, going to pre-school, etc., and to some other things, like perspective. So four kids, two parents now working FT, and everything's cool.

Maybe those of us who have done both for several years need to be voices of reason here and not let the crazy people get so mean to people doing something different.

Every mother in my life, FT, at-home, PT, whatever, is so on the same page with how tricky it can be to time everything correctly and balance family and career and money and make decisions about what's best for their kids and themselves. In other words, sane and supportive and normal. I have to believe those sorts of mothers way outnumber the ones who are cruel and judgmental about these issues.

Thank you. I am happy there is at least one voice of reason on this topic in the D.C. area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are as many ways to do this whole work/children/family thing as there are mothers. Too many of you act like there are two paths, and the opposing sides feel disdain, even disgust, for the other. The stereotyping here is completely out of control, and really, just reveals a sense of defensiveness and anger that's really crazy.

My situation is fairly common, too - left my job until my kids were off to kindergarten, and then went back to work. Re-entered easily, happily, when the time was right, and didn't miss a beat in terms of content and money. My goals were so much better defined at that point as well, due in part to part-time and freelance experiences I took on as the kids started getting older, going to pre-school, etc., and to some other things, like perspective. So four kids, two parents now working FT, and everything's cool.

Maybe those of us who have done both for several years need to be voices of reason here and not let the crazy people get so mean to people doing something different.

Every mother in my life, FT, at-home, PT, whatever, is so on the same page with how tricky it can be to time everything correctly and balance family and career and money and make decisions about what's best for their kids and themselves. In other words, sane and supportive and normal. I have to believe those sorts of mothers way outnumber the ones who are cruel and judgmental about these issues.

Thank you. I am happy there is at least one voice of reason on this topic in the D.C. area.

No one stated that there are only two paths and no one expressed disdain or disgust. Many just stated that it's a huge consideration when compared against a woman whose continued to work.

However, you don't live in my neighborhood if you think all moms, including SAHMs, are "on the same page with how tricky it can be to time everything correctly and balance family and career and money..." They DON'T have to balance a family and career. Based on many conversations I've had with them, the majority don't have a clue what it's like to balance a full-time commitment/career and your families schedules/needs. It's just ridiculous to believe they really know what it's like to balance and juggle such an unforgiving schedule if they haven't had to do it for an extended time through different stages of childhood.