What did our mother's judge other mothers for?

[Anonymous]

Wow, my mom was clearly judged by everyone. Divorced, so she had to work, we were latch key kids, weren't enrolled in activities until much later than normal, and we had ugly clothes because we were poor. But my brother and I were good students, polite, had a lot fun, never got into trouble, and are pretty successful adults.

I will say my mom judged others who didn't make enough food . My (much wealthier) best friend could never invite me over for dinner last minute because her mom always made exactly enough for the family. My mom though that was nuts because she always made too much.

[Anonymous]

My mom judged daycare - like it was the most horrible thing on earth

She judged moms whose kids had "too many cavities"

She disliked the name Julian

She judged fat people

She judged parents who were harsh to their kids

She judged families whose teenagers worked during the school year

MIL had her youngest at 37 in 1982 and was very judged for it. She said people came up to her and said, "I'm so sorry," when she started to show.

[Anonymous]

Mothers who worked (this was in the 60s so rarer than even the 70s). Mine started working at some point when we were kids, making us latch key children.

I had a part time job while going to a Big 3 HS here. The mothers of my friends felt sorry for me and I am sure judged my mother for allowing it.

Ratty clothing - my mother hated tights on girls because they always had holes. I was only allowed to wear knee socks.

Straggly hair - I had short hair until I was 10 because my mother did not like scraggly haired girls.

[Anonymous]

My mother judged other mothers for sending kids to expensive private schools, and conversely, judged the other mothers at my public school for dressing kids in "cheap" "K-mart" clothes. She judged anyone who reminded her of her own mother particularly harshly. She was also extremely judgmental of other judgmental mothers, though she never criticized anyone for hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother judged other mothers for sending kids to expensive private schools, and conversely, judged the other mothers at my public school for dressing kids in "cheap" "K-mart" clothes. She judged anyone who reminded her of her own mother particularly harshly. She was also extremely judgmental of other judgmental mothers, though she never criticized anyone for hypocrisy.

LOL! What did she say about mothers who sent their kids to expensive private schools?

[Anonymous]

"Her bouffant is just towering - WHO does her HAIR??!!"

Definitely who is clean and who is not. But generally, what PP listed, identical to today!

[Anonymous]

I won't put words in my mother's mouth but I think she did judge other single mothers who dated or wanted to date while their kids were still young. She wouldn't say something like "oh that's a TERRIBLE mother!" but I could tell she thought it was a terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

My mother judged moms who let their elementary-aged kids dress up like punks for halloween. Also moms who let their preteens read Sweet Valley High books.

[Anonymous]

I am just loving this thread!! It is so funny!

[Anonymous]

My mom was a hippie, LLL type who was really interested in child development. She wasn't openly judgmental, especially not about the usual stuff, but I know she stopped providing child care because it made her sad. This was when professional women needed to behave much more like men, and take home a lot of work, and men still weren't picking up much of the slack, so a lot of these mothers were very stressed, and kids who were sick or needed a mental health day or extra attention weren't necessarily getting it. She felt (and I remember agreeing and feeling a difference in these families) that these women were very disconnected from their children and that the children were not getting their needs met. They just seemed so lonely. She didn't judge the mothers for working, but it just upset her that there was no way to prioritize the kids.

What she DID judge was feeding children a low-fat diet, which was popular with "educated" upper-income women at the time. OMG. That made her insane. There would be some poor nervy kid with allergic shiners and dull skin and no energy whose parents were all about preventing heart disease and she might make some gentle educational comment (because of course she was absolutely right). But then later at home, she just lost it and ranted. I think she really worried about these kids, their CNS and immune development. That was another reason she stopped doing child care, because she wasn't going to lie to the kids' parents in order to feed them properly, but she could not stand to see their health issues, especially next to her own healthy children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single mothers (how dare they have a child out of wedlock or divorce!!)and mothers that worked. We had one family move in our neighborhood where the mother worked and they were gossiped about all the time. Also, parents that let kids stay out after the street lights came on. Hee hee...too funny!!

LOL. My mom was a single mom and I remember her occasional comments about women who stayed in bad marriages "for the sake of the children."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So back 35 yrs ago did mothers judge other mothers as much as they do now?

My mom stayed home, but that was the norm back then. i only had a few friends growing up who's mothers worked. My siblings and i were all fomula fed and that was also the norm. We watched a lot of TV and McDonalds was pretty popular...remember the days of having birthday parties there? No one had heard of or cared about organic milk. so what did they spend their time caring about?

That has nothing to do with the times. There are lots of kids today who are formula fed, watch a lot of TV and eat at McDonalds,and whose parents don't care about organic milk.

I grew up in the 1970s/80s. I was breastfed, never ate McDonalds and we didn't even have a TV. We were a very low sugar household too.

I think there ware all types of parents then and now.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only person reading this thread and thinking, "huh?" Maybe my mother was more open-minded than either mothers today, or the mothers of the PPs. She didn't get wrapped up in the stuff the PPs are describing.

[Anonymous]

19:56 I agree. I don't recall my mother (still alive) ever really being outwardly judgmental in front of us kids - or at least within hearing distance. I do recall her recently judging one of the other mothers in the neighborhood because they had regular poker and bridge parties and had invited my mom to join in. She was far too busy taking care of elderly grandparents and a home-run business in apartment buildings. But, alas, I have never learned to play poker or bridge as a result.

[Anonymous]

What was LLL stand for?