ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I cook huge quantities for TG and ask our guests to bring their own tupperware, freezer packs etc. Then all of us divvy up the food for everyone. The last thing that my family wants is to eat TG leftovers for more than one meal the next day.

OP, try doubling up the TG meal quantities. It is wonderful that people want to eat the leftovers. You can send them back home with a taste of the holidays. Food for me is the universal language of love.

I would NEVER do this! That seems SO gauche. I would be embarrassed to be a guest if I did that. I am coming to spend the holiday with you, not to gather up free food.

Exactly. It's also incredibly rude for the prior poster to tell op to buy even more food to appease the grifters. It's all so wasteful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to give folks leftovers and don’t really consider my parents guests; they are family. Seems like you’ve let this go on long enough that they think it’s fine. I’d be embarrassed to have an issue now, after a long time; my parents would probably think we were having money troubles. However he frames it, they are going to find you stingy and rude. Sounds like a very awkward Thanksgiving.

Not op. I never experienced this crazy when I grew up. Guests never showed up with containers and claimed food. They were usually offered a plate to go but no one sidled up to the leftovers with their own containers and loaded up. What op describes is incredibly rude and it speaks volumes about you that you defend it. You were not raised right.

Op's inlaws are rude. She's already done the hard work of hosting and probably providing most of the food. I would not tolerate someone treating me like the help in my own home. I would probably insist everyone go out for a meal if I encountered people who expected me to step and fetch even more for them.

I only encountered as an adult when I took a ham to a family member's celebration, and it was barely touched. It was a small get together and we had turkey, duck, shrimp and ham along with a million sides. There was a non family visitor who I didn't know who was very upset that I packed up the ham and actually accosted me in the driveway as we were leaving. The food had been sitting out for hours if she wanted to grab some she could have done it before. I also thought it was rude that she expected me to leave a large barely touched ham at my relatives house for her benefit. I just rolled my eyes at her and said we were leaving. We had tired young children. If guests showed up at my house with containers I would call them out.

You took your contribution home? That is crazy….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I cook huge quantities for TG and ask our guests to bring their own tupperware, freezer packs etc. Then all of us divvy up the food for everyone. The last thing that my family wants is to eat TG leftovers for more than one meal the next day.

OP, try doubling up the TG meal quantities. It is wonderful that people want to eat the leftovers. You can send them back home with a taste of the holidays. Food for me is the universal language of love.

How wasteful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to give folks leftovers and don’t really consider my parents guests; they are family. Seems like you’ve let this go on long enough that they think it’s fine. I’d be embarrassed to have an issue now, after a long time; my parents would probably think we were having money troubles. However he frames it, they are going to find you stingy and rude. Sounds like a very awkward Thanksgiving.

Not op. I never experienced this crazy when I grew up. Guests never showed up with containers and claimed food. They were usually offered a plate to go but no one sidled up to the leftovers with their own containers and loaded up. What op describes is incredibly rude and it speaks volumes about you that you defend it. You were not raised right.

Op's inlaws are rude. She's already done the hard work of hosting and probably providing most of the food. I would not tolerate someone treating me like the help in my own home. I would probably insist everyone go out for a meal if I encountered people who expected me to step and fetch even more for them.

I only encountered as an adult when I took a ham to a family member's celebration, and it was barely touched. It was a small get together and we had turkey, duck, shrimp and ham along with a million sides. There was a non family visitor who I didn't know who was very upset that I packed up the ham and actually accosted me in the driveway as we were leaving. The food had been sitting out for hours if she wanted to grab some she could have done it before. I also thought it was rude that she expected me to leave a large barely touched ham at my relatives house for her benefit. I just rolled my eyes at her and said we were leaving. We had tired young children. If guests showed up at my house with containers I would call them out.

You took your contribution home? That is crazy….

NP. It's not crazy when it's your dish, it was barely touched (meaning it wasn't popular and probably will go in the trash), and the hosts aren't having houseguests who can help eat leftovers. This is normal for potlucks and close family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to give folks leftovers and don’t really consider my parents guests; they are family. Seems like you’ve let this go on long enough that they think it’s fine. I’d be embarrassed to have an issue now, after a long time; my parents would probably think we were having money troubles. However he frames it, they are going to find you stingy and rude. Sounds like a very awkward Thanksgiving.

Not op. I never experienced this crazy when I grew up. Guests never showed up with containers and claimed food. They were usually offered a plate to go but no one sidled up to the leftovers with their own containers and loaded up. What op describes is incredibly rude and it speaks volumes about you that you defend it. You were not raised right.

Op's inlaws are rude. She's already done the hard work of hosting and probably providing most of the food. I would not tolerate someone treating me like the help in my own home. I would probably insist everyone go out for a meal if I encountered people who expected me to step and fetch even more for them.

I only encountered as an adult when I took a ham to a family member's celebration, and it was barely touched. It was a small get together and we had turkey, duck, shrimp and ham along with a million sides. There was a non family visitor who I didn't know who was very upset that I packed up the ham and actually accosted me in the driveway as we were leaving. The food had been sitting out for hours if she wanted to grab some she could have done it before. I also thought it was rude that she expected me to leave a large barely touched ham at my relatives house for her benefit. I just rolled my eyes at her and said we were leaving. We had tired young children. If guests showed up at my house with containers I would call them out.

You took your contribution home? That is crazy….

No it isn't. The hosts were my brother and sister-in-law. They don't have kids and were leaving on a cruise that weekend.

Duuuuuuh.

[Anonymous]

My name is Petty Crocker, and I would be in that kitchen so fast to put everything away before these crazy ILs could take anything. I would serve dessert and then just head back to the kitchen to put everything away. It would be the fastest clean-up on record. Hell, I might even buy a second refrigerator to store them in and have that fridge in a room with a lock.

[Anonymous]

This is year is decide to go to vacation. Wink, wink. So sad your flight got canceled. Oh, well. Little white lies never hurt anyone. Unless of course you want to go to vacation. Come up with a new plan for 2026!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I cook huge quantities for TG and ask our guests to bring their own tupperware, freezer packs etc. Then all of us divvy up the food for everyone. The last thing that my family wants is to eat TG leftovers for more than one meal the next day.

OP, try doubling up the TG meal quantities. It is wonderful that people want to eat the leftovers. You can send them back home with a taste of the holidays. Food for me is the universal language of love.

As a guest, I’d be uncomfortable showing up with Tupperware and freezer packs. I’d probably just say I forgot to bring them and thank you for the offer.

[Anonymous]

This is how people get food poisoning or gastro diseases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't sound like you're making enough food of everyone is fighting for it. Make more food or tell them before hand don't bring Tupperware as we're eating ALL the leftovers the next day.

OP here. There is enough for a full, multi-plate dinner; a full, multi-plate dinner the next day; turkey sandwiches; and then DH and I want anything else to stay in our home for us to enjoy, as we were the ones who bought all the food and cooked every dish.

If ILs want another meal of it, they should be making it at home, themselves. They are able-bodied, cook for themselves, and have enough money to feed themselves whatever they like.

We’re taking others’ advice and DH will be telling them ahead of time that everyone will have enough for the visit, but if there’s any leftovers after the visit, we are keeping them.

Aaaaand there it is. You’re being petty. Very petty. The in laws want leftovers. Just buy and make slightly more food and box them up some leftovers. It is ridiculous to make this an issue.

For what it’s worth, every time my parents or ILs host thanksgiving, there is enough for them to keep leftovers AND they send everyone home with leftovers (if they want them). This is not something odd or uncommon that your ILs are looking for.

[Anonymous]

This is amazing but it’s so insane and fun that I would let them do it. Payment is telling the story all year long. Get a honey baked ham to stretch the leftovers that are leftover.

[Anonymous]

Why do people want to carry leftovers home anyway? If they want it on Friday they should host.

[Anonymous]

So they stay on Friday and maybe go home Saturday and are just dying to bring home these days old leftovers? And you're fighting to have days of old leftovers in your fridge? Yeesh. I wouldn't be bragging or fighting over any of this insane pettiness over scraps.

[Anonymous]

I think staying and being fed for multiple additional days cancels out any claim they have to leftovers. Yes, it's good to share leftovers of a feast with guests, but they're doing that by hosting for days! A guest insisting on reserving food and claiming fridge space for days while you have to make OTHER food to feed everyone is ridiculous and inconsiderate. All the people saying "just double quantities" - do you have double refrigerators?

But if they're staying for days you can't really reserve the leftovers for yourselves either. Just assume you won't wind up with any after they leave, whether it all gets eaten or they pack up the scraps.

[Anonymous]

My in laws do this too! They pounce on leftovers like animals