Everyone with NT kids has it figured out about how to raise a kid with special needs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher once suggested that I "simply explain to him that it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hurt people". And I was like, I get that you think this is good advice, but maybe consider that if I've asked my pediatrician, my mother, my mother in law, and all my friends, and am at the point of admitting to the preschool teacher that my 5yo still bites me and I need help, it's probably a safe assumption that we already tried "telling him not to".

Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don't cry.

I’m a (general ed) teacher, and this is hard to read. We don’t know why they’re hitting and biting, you don’t know why either, we’re all just throwing up our hands and saying we can’t stop it, and meanwhile I have 25 other kids to protect? If you think you’re powerless
to get a message through to your child, imagine how much more powerless a teacher is when your child is only one of 25.

Gen Ed teachers can request an FBA to determine why the behavior is happening- with parental consent of course, but most parents don’t even know it exists, so as a teacher please bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher once suggested that I "simply explain to him that it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hurt people". And I was like, I get that you think this is good advice, but maybe consider that if I've asked my pediatrician, my mother, my mother in law, and all my friends, and am at the point of admitting to the preschool teacher that my 5yo still bites me and I need help, it's probably a safe assumption that we already tried "telling him not to".

Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don't cry.

I’m a (general ed) teacher, and this is hard to read. We don’t know why they’re hitting and biting, you don’t know why either, we’re all just throwing up our hands and saying we can’t stop it, and meanwhile I have 25 other kids to protect? If you think you’re powerless
to get a message through to your child, imagine how much more powerless a teacher is when your child is only one of 25.

Actually my child was still able to mask at this point and didn't have behavior problems at school. I was asking for advice to help with home. It didn't bother me that she didn't know what we should do. As a gen ed teacher she had no more relevant training than I did (actually probably less because I had some relevant college coursework). It was just the idea that we had been working on this problem for years and hadn't already tried explaining the expectation to him and that doing this would solve the issue that I found amusing/aggravating.

No one was throwing up their hands and doing nothing. We were trying to figure out what was going on. We had to use the medical system because the school didn't see an educational impact so waitlists were long. He is now diagnosed and medicated. I hope that's reassuring to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher once suggested that I "simply explain to him that it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hurt people". And I was like, I get that you think this is good advice, but maybe consider that if I've asked my pediatrician, my mother, my mother in law, and all my friends, and am at the point of admitting to the preschool teacher that my 5yo still bites me and I need help, it's probably a safe assumption that we already tried "telling him not to".

Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don't cry.

I’m a (general ed) teacher, and this is hard to read. We don’t know why they’re hitting and biting, you don’t know why either, we’re all just throwing up our hands and saying we can’t stop it, and meanwhile I have 25 other kids to protect? If you think you’re powerless
to get a message through to your child, imagine how much more powerless a teacher is when your child is only one of 25.

Actually my child was still able to mask at this point and didn't have behavior problems at school. I was asking for advice to help with home. It didn't bother me that she didn't know what we should do. As a gen ed teacher she had no more relevant training than I did (actually probably less because I had some relevant college coursework). It was just the idea that we had been working on this problem for years and hadn't already tried explaining the expectation to him and that doing this would solve the issue that I found amusing/aggravating.

No one was throwing up their hands and doing nothing. We were trying to figure out what was going on. We had to use the medical system because the school didn't see an educational impact so waitlists were long. He is now diagnosed and medicated. I hope that's reassuring to you.

NP, and I had the exact same experience with my son. Well, not exactly but very similar. My son masked very well at school, we didn’t have a diagnosis yet, and at home I was drowning. I was entirely unable to figure out what was happening, why messages weren’t getting through to my son, and when I confided in someone at the school they literally said “[name] would NEVER behave like that anywhere!! What do you mean you need help?!?”

It was the most demoralized I ever felt in our efforts to figure out what was happening. This was years ago now, and my son is thriving, but man those years were hell and I would never do them again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher once suggested that I "simply explain to him that it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hurt people". And I was like, I get that you think this is good advice, but maybe consider that if I've asked my pediatrician, my mother, my mother in law, and all my friends, and am at the point of admitting to the preschool teacher that my 5yo still bites me and I need help, it's probably a safe assumption that we already tried "telling him not to".

Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don't cry.

I’m a (general ed) teacher, and this is hard to read. We don’t know why they’re hitting and biting, you don’t know why either, we’re all just throwing up our hands and saying we can’t stop it, and meanwhile I have 25 other kids to protect? If you think you’re powerless
to get a message through to your child, imagine how much more powerless a teacher is when your child is only one of 25.

Ma’am this is the SN board.

[jsteele]

Please do not post AI responses in the DCUM forums. The forums are meant for human interaction. If users want to talk to robots, they can do so elsewhere.

Moreover, if you do post an AI response and then sock puppet a response saying how great the post was, I will have a particularly bad opinion of you. I cannot even begin to explain how I feel about that behavior, but I can assure you that it isn't good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher once suggested that I "simply explain to him that it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hurt people". And I was like, I get that you think this is good advice, but maybe consider that if I've asked my pediatrician, my mother, my mother in law, and all my friends, and am at the point of admitting to the preschool teacher that my 5yo still bites me and I need help, it's probably a safe assumption that we already tried "telling him not to".

Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don't cry.

I’m a (general ed) teacher, and this is hard to read. We don’t know why they’re hitting and biting, you don’t know why either, we’re all just throwing up our hands and saying we can’t stop it, and meanwhile I have 25 other kids to protect? If you think you’re powerless
to get a message through to your child, imagine how much more powerless a teacher is when your child is only one of 25.

Ma’am this is the SN board.

Did it ever occur to you that in addition to being a teacher, they might also be a SN parent???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher once suggested that I "simply explain to him that it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hurt people". And I was like, I get that you think this is good advice, but maybe consider that if I've asked my pediatrician, my mother, my mother in law, and all my friends, and am at the point of admitting to the preschool teacher that my 5yo still bites me and I need help, it's probably a safe assumption that we already tried "telling him not to".

Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don't cry.

I’m a (general ed) teacher, and this is hard to read. We don’t know why they’re hitting and biting, you don’t know why either, we’re all just throwing up our hands and saying we can’t stop it, and meanwhile I have 25 other kids to protect? If you think you’re powerless
to get a message through to your child, imagine how much more powerless a teacher is when your child is only one of 25.

Ma’am this is the SN board.

Did it ever occur to you that in addition to being a teacher, they might also be a SN parent???

Then they are ignorant on both fronts.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:Please do not post AI responses in the DCUM forums. The forums are meant for human interaction. If users want to talk to robots, they can do so elsewhere.

Moreover, if you do post an AI response and then sock puppet a response saying how great the post was, I will have a particularly bad opinion of you. I cannot even begin to explain how I feel about that behavior, but I can assure you that it isn't good.

THANKS. I think AI can be a good research tool but those posts showed how useless it is unless actually processed by a human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. It’s like most people only understand special needs if your child has Down’s syndrome.

Trust me. Parents of children with Down syndrome (the correct spelling in this country) experience the same thing. Plus a ton of "why didn't you abort"?

+1

Also, I got that same question about my ASD kid that wasn’t diagnosed until age 11.

[Anonymous]

I got so much unsolicited advice from my mom when my DD had a severe speech delay, to constantly talk to her and narrate every second of the day. And to lift up her chin with my hands and force her to peer into our eyes. My mom actually told me that DD didn’t talk because we lived away from family. Never mind that we were working with a battery of professionals.