Exposing AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As soon as I learned of my husband's workplace affair, I texted then called the AP's husband. He absolutely deserved to know of his wife's adultery and get tested for STD's. My husband and I went to their wedding several years ago, it was the least I could do.

I've also selectively told some of his co-workers. I'm sure he's posing it as a brand new relationship instead of the 6 year long, f**king in their office adulterous debauchery that it is.

I'm confused. Do you have an STD that you gave to your husband? If not, why are STDs even a concern?

Maybe don't be all altruistic when describing your motivation and just own that you went scorched Earth. This "exposure to STDs" thing is a bad fig leave. If you're not infected, he's not infected. And if he's not infected, how could he infect the AP?[/quote

AP could be a ho with more partners than hubby wubby in the grubby]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it could in any way endanger the financial stream that flows to your children, I would not do this. If their relationship becomes public, which she probably wants, everyone will know. Just leave it alone.

100%.

But I did use it as leverage in the divorce negotiations.

How did you use it as a leverage?

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Do you have an STD that you gave to your husband? If not, why are STDs even a concern?

Maybe don't be all altruistic when describing your motivation and just own that you went scorched Earth. This "exposure to STDs" thing is a bad fig leave. If you're not infected, he's not infected. And if he's not infected, how could he infect the AP?

NP. You’re right. You are confused about what it means to be a decent human. She is doing the right thing to expose to the AP’s spouse because everyone deserves to know the truth of their own life and have agency. What if that spouse is considering a major financial decision like buying a new house or commingling an inheritance, or having a child or some other life-changing decision that might be impacted if they knew their spouse was cheating?

[Anonymous]

“That woman deserves her revenge.” Payback gets a bum rap in this society, but in general I think a betrayed spouse is fully justified in trying to do social and reputational damage to their spouse’s AP. That said, it’s not always the best judgment: sometimes it jeopardizes your financial situation, and other times it creates blowback because people start to think “wow, if their husband/wife was that crazy, i can get why they cheated.” Also, sometimes AP’s spouse is troubled or unstable, and escalation can create some pretty bad scenarios. So you need to be thoughtful about whether, how, and when to seek your revenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As soon as I learned of my husband's workplace affair, I texted then called the AP's husband. He absolutely deserved to know of his wife's adultery and get tested for STD's. My husband and I went to their wedding several years ago, it was the least I could do.

I've also selectively told some of his co-workers. I'm sure he's posing it as a brand new relationship instead of the 6 year long, f**king in their office adulterous debauchery that it is.

I'm confused. Do you have an STD that you gave to your husband? If not, why are STDs even a concern?

Maybe don't be all altruistic when describing your motivation and just own that you went scorched Earth. This "exposure to STDs" thing is a bad fig leave. If you're not infected, he's not infected. And if he's not infected, how could he infect the AP?

So naive. Cheaters often have multiple hookups. The AP ain't special.
A few months after my cheating ex left, I got a medical bill from our insurance for Herpes medication. I don't have Herpes and luckily didn't catch it from him, so either AP gave it to him, or one of his other Tinder hookups did, so yeah AP's husband is entitled to know this.

And neither are you, apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you all care about the AP. It’s your spouse who broke your vows. I really don’t get it.

This.

[Anonymous]

I understand it. As a PP said, it’s human nature. Also, I personally think an AP is a person of questionable ethics. But acting on those feelings? That’s where being an adult comes in. Lashing out like a child may get you momentary satisfaction but revenge really is best served cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“That woman deserves her revenge.” Payback gets a bum rap in this society, but in general I think a betrayed spouse is fully justified in trying to do social and reputational damage to their spouse’s AP. That said, it’s not always the best judgment: sometimes it jeopardizes your financial situation, and other times it creates blowback because people start to think “wow, if their husband/wife was that crazy, i can get why they cheated.” Also, sometimes AP’s spouse is troubled or unstable, and escalation can create some pretty bad scenarios. So you need to be thoughtful about whether, how, and when to seek your revenge.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Wait one or two years. And do something weird.

[Anonymous]

It won't make you feel better about splitting time with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it could in any way endanger the financial stream that flows to your children, I would not do this. If their relationship becomes public, which she probably wants, everyone will know. Just leave it alone.

100%.

But I did use it as leverage in the divorce negotiations.

How did you use it as a leverage?

+1 Do share

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As soon as I learned of my husband's workplace affair, I texted then called the AP's husband. He absolutely deserved to know of his wife's adultery and get tested for STD's. My husband and I went to their wedding several years ago, it was the least I could do.

I've also selectively told some of his co-workers. I'm sure he's posing it as a brand new relationship instead of the 6 year long, f**king in their office adulterous debauchery that it is.

I'm confused. Do you have an STD that you gave to your husband? If not, why are STDs even a concern?

Maybe don't be all altruistic when describing your motivation and just own that you went scorched Earth. This "exposure to STDs" thing is a bad fig leave. If you're not infected, he's not infected. And if he's not infected, how could he infect the AP?

So naive. Cheaters often have multiple hookups. The AP ain't special.
A few months after my cheating ex left, I got a medical bill from our insurance for Herpes medication. I don't have Herpes and luckily didn't catch it from him, so either AP gave it to him, or one of his other Tinder hookups did, so yeah AP's husband is entitled to know this.

This didn’t happen. Insurance companies don’t send bills on behalf of pharmacies. It’s possible the insurance company sent your husband an EOB that you (illegally) opened. It’s also possible the pharmacy sent your husband a statement that you (illegally) opened.

[Anonymous]

Not illegal if they are on the same plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it could in any way endanger the financial stream that flows to your children, I would not do this. If their relationship becomes public, which she probably wants, everyone will know. Just leave it alone.

This. Blame your DH not her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not illegal if they are on the same plan.

it’s illegal if it doesn’t have your name on it. period.

But also, if your husband had herpes that you assume he got from a hookup and you didn’t get it-at the time when it’s most contagious-then it explains why your husband was cheating. Does it make it right? Of course not. But it’s why. You weren’t having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“That woman deserves her revenge.” Payback gets a bum rap in this society, but in general I think a betrayed spouse is fully justified in trying to do social and reputational damage to their spouse’s AP. That said, it’s not always the best judgment: sometimes it jeopardizes your financial situation, and other times it creates blowback because people start to think “wow, if their husband/wife was that crazy, i can get why they cheated.” Also, sometimes AP’s spouse is troubled or unstable, and escalation can create some pretty bad scenarios. So you need to be thoughtful about whether, how, and when to seek your revenge.

I would love to expose the married AP to the women she works for, female type business. Her behavior is 100% against female empowerment, sisterhood. I lbs sickening to see the utter phoniness.