Working out-of-town - does this ever work?

[Anonymous]

I did this for years, but husband and I didn't have children. I think it's much harder with little ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a few factors going on but I’ll try to be succinct.

(A) DH is a SME in a very niche technical area; his work locations are limited to DC and to a rural place (where we live and where I really dislike). He would make the same $$$ in DC so it does make sense to stay where we are.

(B) I have an advanced degree and am more of a generalist, but job opportunities in this area are abysmal and pay very poorly.

(C) I’m interviewing for a role that would require 5-day onsite presence. It’s a wonderful opportunity for my career.

(D) I was laid off a few months ago.

Has anyone ever done something similar, where they take a job out of town and come home on the weekends? Is this doable? Am I dreaming? I really loathe where we live and it would be a welcome change for me in any case.

There are a lot of expenses associated with maintaining a second home. If you’re renting a studio apartment in a higher COL city, paying to travel home every weekend, and your husband is paying for additional domestic services to relieve some of the burden, in addition to the mortgage on your rural house (which you said was expensive)… how would you not come out ahead by selling the rural house and buying a house in DC? Even if moving your family to DC was more expensive, it’s hard to imagine that it matters more than the emotional cost to your family of being separated.

I’m also 40 and a mom to a toddler and preschooler. In your situation, I would not move away from my children. If I truly felt I had to move, I would bring them with me. I know your husband has the more flexible job, but that is not going to matter to a toddler who wants their mother. I understand your anxiety about your career, and I would also want to move away from the rural town. But I would take my entire family, and if DH refused, I’d take my kids.

[Anonymous]

We did something like this when my spouse was estabilishing his career and had a 1 year position. We missed each other, but it was fine - no kids. I later had a job that was about 1 week a month out of town, but I had a lot of lattitude with that. Again, fine - no kids.

I’m currently away for 2 work weeks (home weekend) and I would never sign up for this long term. I’m fine here - I love my work. They are fine there - my husband can handle solo parentling. But we are living in two separate worlds, and it just isn’t for me long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a few factors going on but I’ll try to be succinct.

(A) DH is a SME in a very niche technical area; his work locations are limited to DC and to a rural place (where we live and where I really dislike). He would make the same $$$ in DC so it does make sense to stay where we are.

(B) I have an advanced degree and am more of a generalist, but job opportunities in this area are abysmal and pay very poorly.

(C) I’m interviewing for a role that would require 5-day onsite presence. It’s a wonderful opportunity for my career.

(D) I was laid off a few months ago.

Has anyone ever done something similar, where they take a job out of town and come home on the weekends? Is this doable? Am I dreaming? I really loathe where we live and it would be a welcome change for me in any case.

Why wouldn't it work? Do it if it makes you happy.

She has a toddler

[Anonymous]

This should be in a parenting forum