Hosted a playdate. Kid repeatedly asked dd to open one of her new bday gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg y'all are so nuts. They took out a game that required 4 players into the living room and ASKED ME TO PLAY.

You know what. Forget it. Y'all are seriously nuts on here. I thght I'd get some interesting commentary on ADHD diagnosis. Or how spoiled the child was.

So you came here to get reinforcement to bash a 10 year old girl? You are a real piece of work.

Anyway to answer your question, with the exception of anything mean or harmful, I don’t judge any kid in my house. I actually like my kids’ buddies so if one kept on begging for cookies I’d probably make a joke out of it. One really nice kid was a great kid but really liked sweets (and was self conscious about it) so I would try to be kind and plan reasonable meals with a small sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg y'all are so nuts. They took out a game that required 4 players into the living room and ASKED ME TO PLAY.

You know what. Forget it. Y'all are seriously nuts on here. I thght I'd get some interesting commentary on ADHD diagnosis. Or how spoiled the child was.

Who was the other person?

[Anonymous]

That’s sad. This child sounds like they crave boundaries and attention. It’s very possible to be a good guide for this child, but you should discuss this with your child and get their help. It will be time consuming. If you are willing, you could teach in a positive way, and your child can reinforce the appropriate behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Kid is ten. Does that make a difference? A girl.

The kids came over after we were all out together so no one had a chance to tidy toys but it was in a clearly not out for play area of the house. It was no immediately put away because a. We were occupied with another game the first ask and b. The kids were getting picked up.

It was not a mealtime and they had all had donuts out immediately PRIOR to the playdate. Ofc I said no, and redirected from the cookie ask with other snacks initially after the first 4 kinds were offered. Then I straight up said no more snacks.

But honestly I cannot believe all of you want to justify kids being this poorly behaved. At 10. Mainly was curious if anyone would tag this as poor impulse control and/or spoiled at home and gets her way when asking multiple times. I expected some who thght this was fine behavior but wow, a lot of you are raising little sh*ts. 😆😆 And flame away because I don't feel badly about how I "managed" this playdate. 😂

You asked for feedback and for people's opinions of how bad the behavior is. But what you really wanted is someone to validate YOUR opinion. That's not what you asked for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How rude is this on a scale of 1-10 (ten being the rudest)?

Or am I overreacting because the kid also continued to ask for snacks after already being offered 4 different items that they ate (specifically asking for chips or a cookie)...

The gift was from the prior weekend and my kid had not yet gotten around to opening the box - which was obvious. Guest child asked four to five times to open it.

0 rude.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t think you were in the wrong with the initial post but your subsequent posts made me think that you are terrible, OP.

You posted here wanting to have a bash and gossip party! For a ten year old possibly having ADHD! (Or being poorly behaved. Which isn’t much better to bash a kid for. She may be a poorly behaved child but you are a poorly behaved, mean spirited adult posting for the explicit stated purpose of getting a group bashing of a child.)

Also, on a practical note, perhaps don’t post as if you want advice when what you want is others to join you in mocking a kid. State what you want upfront except you didn’t because you know you’d be rightly labeled a horror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Kid is ten. Does that make a difference? A girl.

The kids came over after we were all out together so no one had a chance to tidy toys but it was in a clearly not out for play area of the house. It was no immediately put away because a. We were occupied with another game the first ask and b. The kids were getting picked up.

It was not a mealtime and they had all had donuts out immediately PRIOR to the playdate. Ofc I said no, and redirected from the cookie ask with other snacks initially after the first 4 kinds were offered. Then I straight up said no more snacks.

But honestly I cannot believe all of you want to justify kids being this poorly behaved. At 10. Mainly was curious if anyone would tag this as poor impulse control and/or spoiled at home and gets her way when asking multiple times. I expected some who thght this was fine behavior but wow, a lot of you are raising little sh*ts. 😆😆 And flame away because I don't feel badly about how I "managed" this playdate. 😂

WTF are you playing with 2 ten year old girls? How weird. Let them play without you hovering like they are 4.

DCUM is so weird. You’re bashing her for playing a board game with ten year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal to me. After she asked once I would have put the gift away. Kids might be uncomfortable with new foods.

I am getting so tired of the responses justifying all children’s bad behavior. So they ate four snacks but “might be uncomfortable with new foods”? Uh, ok.

I think it's over the top to say that a kid asking if they can have chips or a cookie is rude. You are well within your rights to say "no, we're having apple slices for snack" but the kid wanting a cookie just makes them a kid who has been given a cookie at a previous playdate and had high hopes. (Or, worst case scenario, the kid was legitimately hungry and is being demonized for being excited about having access to what seemed like unlimited food, but I would hope that OP would be at least somewhat sensitive to that dynamic.)

OP, leaving out a new toy in a box during a playdate and saying that it cannot be played with is a poor choice. If you don't want to play with it, you put it away before guests come over.

Asking for cookies as a fifth snack is rude, no matter how much you try to spin it.
It’s OK to say birthday gifts are off limits.
Again, you “gentle parents” are raising brats.

It truly is not okay to say that the toy you have on display during a playdate is off limits. It's very socially inept, in fact. OP and her daughter could be forgiven for not realizing they'd made that mistake, but by not putting it out of sight after the first request OP demonstrated that, like an upthread PP said, she's not very good at managing children.

Sounds like the kid was asking for cookies as a second snack and kept getting redirected to carrot sticks or whatever instead of just being told "no", which is OP's crappy attempt at . . . gentle parenting!

It truly IS OK to tell a ten year old that another child’s toy is off limits to them.

[Anonymous]

You should not host playdates. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Kid is ten. Does that make a difference? A girl.

The kids came over after we were all out together so no one had a chance to tidy toys but it was in a clearly not out for play area of the house. It was no immediately put away because a. We were occupied with another game the first ask and b. The kids were getting picked up.

It was not a mealtime and they had all had donuts out immediately PRIOR to the playdate. Ofc I said no, and redirected from the cookie ask with other snacks initially after the first 4 kinds were offered. Then I straight up said no more snacks.

But honestly I cannot believe all of you want to justify kids being this poorly behaved. At 10. Mainly was curious if anyone would tag this as poor impulse control and/or spoiled at home and gets her way when asking multiple times. I expected some who thght this was fine behavior but wow, a lot of you are raising little sh*ts. 😆😆 And flame away because I don't feel badly about how I "managed" this playdate. 😂

We didn’t say it fine. We said it was normal and kids are still learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not rude. Why didn’t your kid open it? Might have made for a fun activity.

Because it’s her gift and she can choose when and where to open it?

To be clear this was not a wrapped present, correct? This was a toy that had just not been out of the box yet, right?

If so, stop calling it a gift. That really isn't relevant. This was just a toy in the house.

[Anonymous]

If she is 10 it’s certainly possible she has ADHd and if it was late afternoon her meds had likely worn off. So? Would you also come here trying to roll your eyes at a kid with diabetes who is grumpy and not wanting to play because their blood sugar is low and it’s taking some time to bring it back up and make them feel better? Or a kid who has anxiety disorder having a panic attack? What other medical stuff should we bash kids for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're mad that the kid was HUNGRY?

Hell is wrong with you?

They “were given 4 different items that they ate.” They weren’t HUNGRY (why the melodramatic caps?) They were rude.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal to me. After she asked once I would have put the gift away. Kids might be uncomfortable with new foods.

I am getting so tired of the responses justifying all children’s bad behavior. So they ate four snacks but “might be uncomfortable with new foods”? Uh, ok.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the kid doesn’t have impulse control and may be adhd.

Or maybe just doesn't get told no enough and is a brat who is constantly spoiled if they nag often enough.

Much more likely.