Worried about H because of his imminent heart attack -- he keeps telling me that I am the problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You appear panicked he will die and hurt you financially. Doesn't he have life insurance? Get him to agree to getting some and drop the rope. Then he can die and you get the benjamins that seem to be your main concern.
Or, be sure you are joint on all the assets.

OP here. If I suggested that he get more life insurance, he wouldn't, saying that I'm interested only in the money.

[Anonymous]

This is bonkers. A half-orphan is not a thing. Get it together. I understand all of the concerns at play, but this is way over the top. This dynamic is completely toxic for all concerned.

Figure out the finances and execute a separation agreement. You don’t have to divorce, but you need to drop the rope 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You appear panicked he will die and hurt you financially. Doesn't he have life insurance? Get him to agree to getting some and drop the rope. Then he can die and you get the benjamins that seem to be your main concern.
Or, be sure you are joint on all the assets.

OP here. If I suggested that he get more life insurance, he wouldn't, saying that I'm interested only in the money.

You are though. He’s not wrong.

Ask him to get life insurance with his child as the beneficiary when she turns 21.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You appear panicked he will die and hurt you financially. Doesn't he have life insurance? Get him to agree to getting some and drop the rope. Then he can die and you get the benjamins that seem to be your main concern.
Or, be sure you are joint on all the assets.

OP here. If I suggested that he get more life insurance, he wouldn't, saying that I'm interested only in the money.

You are though. He’s not wrong.

Ask him to get life insurance with his child as the beneficiary when she turns 21.

You are only with him for the money now, so that checks out.

[Anonymous]

If you care about your DD's dad not dying, then I'd say try to help as best you can. Don't divorce so you can still get his money/help when he is gone.

[Anonymous]

He could move in with a stripper tomorrow and give her everything in your bank account. Or he could quit his job to spite you. If he’s looking for a 35 year old second wife to knock up he will easily find one and start a new family soon. You need to get a good attorney, get the assets divided up stat, and stop counting on him to provide for you. He has moved on it’s very unhealthy that you are modeling for your daughter that you are either too greedy or too co dependent to do so yourself.

[Anonymous]

You are a terrible role model for your daughter. Please get some help before you completely mess her up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the point of being separated if you're carrying on like this?

OP here. There has been way less tension since he moved out to our vacation property. It seemed to be working: convenience for him and financial stability for me and our daughter.

That's all well and good, but the marriage is basically over. You get that, right? I really don't understand how you are so hurt by him blowing you off when he doesn't want to live in the same house and he tried to start an affair. He no longer wants to be married.

Does he have life insurance? And what will your financial picture look like if he passes or divorces you? Because that's how you need to be thinking here.

[Anonymous]

Hope college is funded for that 14 year old…

[Anonymous]

You two are so codependent it’s sickening to read. Stop strangling care for him. He doesn’t have imminent heart failure. It’s his life. Let him live it!

[Anonymous]

You need a lawyer. You also need to consider whether his symptoms are real at all or a way to keep you on a leash.

Ultimately it doesn't really matter. You can't make a grown man go to the hospital or care. You can't be responsible for him like that, your marriage is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the point of being separated if you're carrying on like this?

OP here. There has been way less tension since he moved out to our vacation property. It seemed to be working: convenience for him and financial stability for me and our daughter.

What? This is about money? You sound like a gold digger.

[Anonymous]

What are his symptoms? Maybe from a medical standpoint I can try to calm some of your anxiety and help you loosen the control.

[Anonymous]

Get a lawyer and build life insurance for DD into the divorce agreement.