Need private school ASAP for ADHD 5yo — eloping, dysregulated, needs active learning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, it's unlikely that any private school will take him. There just aren't any private schools that serve this population.

My kid is similar but much older now. My advice:
1. Medicate. He can't learn skills (or academics) when dysregulated.
2. Get him OT out of school.
3. Fight for accommodations in public.

Give it some time. For my kid, the beginning of the year is a CF. Then it gets better for 2nd & 3rd quarter. Then kid burns out towards the end of the year. Rinse and repeat. But each year does get a little easier, on average.

The extra year of preschool is not a bad idea. Do a TON of OT during that year.

And get the parent training for ADHD kids. Helped a ton so we could get him regulated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, it's unlikely that any private school will take him. There just aren't any private schools that serve this population.

My kid is similar but much older now. My advice:
1. Medicate. He can't learn skills (or academics) when dysregulated.
2. Get him OT out of school.
3. Fight for accommodations in public.

Give it some time. For my kid, the beginning of the year is a CF. Then it gets better for 2nd & 3rd quarter. Then kid burns out towards the end of the year. Rinse and repeat. But each year does get a little easier, on average.

The extra year of preschool is not a bad idea. Do a TON of OT during that year.

OT would not be beneficial for a child like this.

[Anonymous]

theflash1985 wrote:My 5-year-old is in PG County School kindergarten and has ADHD and big-emotion regulation challenges. When he’s supported, he’s funny, bright, and social — but his school isn’t following his IEP at all. OT denied, 1:1 aide just “observes,” no social-skills help, and they even limit his fidget toys to five minutes.

He’s now so frustrated he’s started eloping and has kicked staff during meltdowns. He’s not a “bad” kid — he’s dysregulated and needs adults who know how to help him calm and re-engage.

We’re looking for PRIVATE schools that truly understand ADHD, anxiety, and emotional regulation — and won’t kick a kid out while he adjusts. Considering Baltimore Lab (would have to wait until Fall 2026), McLean, Diener, and maybe Montessori or nature-based options like Green Acres or Burgundy Farm. I REFUSE TO DO PUBLIC AGAIN AFTER THIS 3 MONTHS OF HELL!!!

He thrives when he’s active, outside, and doing hands-on learning. Private tuition is wild, but we’ll make it work — we just can’t stay here past Christmas (which is in 6 weeks!!!). We’re open to moving to Montgomery/Baltimore/Anne Arundel/Howard County and would love any firsthand recs for supportive schools that actually follow accommodations. Also, do private schools do mid-year transfers - I CANT WAIT TILL FALL 2026!!! They are HURTING MY DS and WE FEEL STUCK!!!!

-Concerned Dad

I can see where the emotional dysregulation COMES FROM !!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baltimore Lab school could be a good fit in terms of dealing with his challenges. What is currently in his IEP? If there are documented incidents of him kicking staff and eloping, no matter how great a kid he is when he’s better regulated, no mainstream private school is going to touch that unfortunately. That’s just facts. You might have luck with a parochial school that needs more students , but they aren’t going to provide OT or outdoor/ hands on learning

So McLean, Diener and other ADHD schools only want perfect little "emotionally mature" 5 year olds? That is so not fair. My son will be denied from all private and have to suffer from incompetent public school IEP teams.

They kept him in the principal’s office for six hours last week instead of helping him. (My advocate is coming to IEP meeting this coming Friday to discuss this disgusting event) The behaviors come from that lack of support, not who he is. I just want him somewhere that actually implements accommodations instead of punishing him for needing them.

Homeschool with a full time home ABA team for support. Get him more social and work on routines and challenges so he works slowly into the demands of school. Just placing him in private will be more money and less beneficial.

This. He is 5. Many 5 year olds—NT or otherwise—are not ready for the behavioral expectations of school. Yours is one of them.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have a kid whose diagnosis and challenges are very similar, but I’m in a state (NY) where districts are small and and in our county there are half a dozen of them that are known for being particularly strong in providing supports. We moved to one of these districts, provided a private neuropsych report that suggested the supports we wanted, and have been very happy with what the school has provided and how it has helped DC thrive in school.

[theflash1985]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

[theflash1985]

Anonymous wrote:I can see where the emotional dysregulation COMES FROM !!!!!!!!!!!

Yup: from his biological parents who didn't want to be bothered with him. We adopted him.

Ya'll be saying anything on the Internet. lol

[Anonymous]

I would homeschool using a tutor- you can get 1-2 college students to do the shifts at $20ish an hour. Give them the curriculum and lots of time for movement breaks. Public school will break your kid and your family with this profile and sldcisl needs private schools will break your bank and may still not serve your kid well. The school has already shown that they are completely done working with you.

[Anonymous]

Can you homeschool for a few years? It may be the best.

[Anonymous]

PG has specialized programing for students with emotional and behavioral disorders - the SEAD program. Has your IEP team discussed this? It looks there are two elementary locations for this program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PG has specialized programing for students with emotional and behavioral disorders - the SEAD program. Has your IEP team discussed this? It looks there are two elementary locations for this program.

I was not aware of this, I’ll look into. Maybe we can do a transfer. The current school is trash - which is shared by other parents I’ve talked to and by online reviews

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you homeschool for a few years? It may be the best.

It’s crazy how everyone is saying home school. My son has ADHD and Anxiety and gets unregulated IF the “trained adult professionals” are not providing accommodations and services. If he gets this like he was this summer, he’s fine like all the other kids.

My son has the right to be in school like everyone else’s kid.

[Anonymous]

You should add Katherine Thomas lower school to the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, it's unlikely that any private school will take him. There just aren't any private schools that serve this population.

My kid is similar but much older now. My advice:
1. Medicate. He can't learn skills (or academics) when dysregulated.
2. Get him OT out of school.
3. Fight for accommodations in public.

Give it some time. For my kid, the beginning of the year is a CF. Then it gets better for 2nd & 3rd quarter. Then kid burns out towards the end of the year. Rinse and repeat. But each year does get a little easier, on average.

The extra year of preschool is not a bad idea. Do a TON of OT during that year.

OT would not be beneficial for a child like this.

False. OT can help teach skills to address dysregulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

False. OT can help teach skills to address dysregulation.

Thank you, the schools refuses to provide for him but we will start private OT