20, 18 and infant

[Anonymous]

Odd, but it happens. Maybe mom’s periods were super erratic and she assumed she was in menopause or perimenopause and couldn’t get pregnant. I would assume it wasn’t intentional

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Odd, but it happens. Maybe mom’s periods were super erratic and she assumed she was in menopause or perimenopause and couldn’t get pregnant. I would assume it wasn’t intentional

Adding: even if they say it was intentional, I would assume it was unplanned and they were surprised. No one is going to admit accident

[Anonymous]

Or maybe they struggled with secondary infertility for years and thought they were out of chances, got lucky many years later, and are over the moon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My 30 and 20-something adult dcs' love their 11 yo sibling. She's been the light of all our lives. She also looks forward to being an aunt when the first grandchild arrives!

My own mom is still living and loving dc and my dad was until last year. My older dc are certainly not 'parenting younger sibling and managing aging parent' hello I'm 54 and we're heading to the trampoline park later!

What was the reasoning behind the 20 year gap?

We just weren't done. It's just how life plays out sometimes I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My 30 and 20-something adult dcs' love their 11 yo sibling. She's been the light of all our lives. She also looks forward to being an aunt when the first grandchild arrives!

My own mom is still living and loving dc and my dad was until last year. My older dc are certainly not 'parenting younger sibling and managing aging parent' hello I'm 54 and we're heading to the trampoline park later!

People on here are constantly posting about how their much older kids just adore their much younger sibling. In real life the people I know who have these either resented the change in the family dynamic or were not remotely close to their much younger get sibling until much later in adulthood. It absolutely dramatically changes the family dynamic but to each his own.

Well, my adult kids are independent and married, and choose to have a close relationship with my younger dc. Maybe the difference is that they all have the same two parents, I don't know. But they have the relationships they want.

[Anonymous]

Find a hobby, OP. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

I've known a couple of people who did this. Mostly they had their first kids right out of high school, or even while they were still in high school. Married the daddy and had a second kid by age 20.

Fast forward 18-20 years. First set of kids are out of the house, and mom and dad are only 40. Many of their peers are starting families for the first time. They think, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My 30 and 20-something adult dcs' love their 11 yo sibling. She's been the light of all our lives. She also looks forward to being an aunt when the first grandchild arrives!

My own mom is still living and loving dc and my dad was until last year. My older dc are certainly not 'parenting younger sibling and managing aging parent' hello I'm 54 and we're heading to the trampoline park later!

People on here are constantly posting about how their much older kids just adore their much younger sibling. In real life the people I know who have these either resented the change in the family dynamic or were not remotely close to their much younger get sibling until much later in adulthood. It absolutely dramatically changes the family dynamic but to each his own.

*Raises hand* My family of origin - older sibling is 10 years older; younger sibling is 8 years younger. We do indeed love each other, although I’m still mad the younger one was a brother when I wanted a sister. It was FINE. All this fear mongering is silly.

[Anonymous]

It happens more often when a mother has two children now in their early 20s, one had a baby and grandmother ends up taking guardianship of a two year old grandchild.

[Anonymous]

OP is jelly the preggo ship has sailed for her.
MYOB too.

[Anonymous]

I only wish that could happen to me, OP.

Maybe don't judge unless these people are asking you for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oooh those ovurries! I wonder how much they spent to get a healthy fetus.
Plan B works. Medical abortion works. Entitlement works. Obviously they picked Plan C.

This doesn’t make sense. You think they spent a ton of money on IVF, but then suggest options for an accidental pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

I had several friends whose parents had accidents in high school. Obviously nobody was having a fourth child by choice at 45+ when their older kids were in middle school and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've known a couple of people who did this. Mostly they had their first kids right out of high school, or even while they were still in high school. Married the daddy and had a second kid by age 20.

Fast forward 18-20 years. First set of kids are out of the house, and mom and dad are only 40. Many of their peers are starting families for the first time. They think, why not?

That's exactly this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18- year old is out of the house and independent. What's it to him what we do in our home.
I was out of the house at 18.5. I moved to another continent and never looked back.

If you have a fully independent 18 year old I consider that a failure in parenting.

Hopefully, your parenting is a complete and total success and your kids will never be independent.