ADHD college kid overwhelmed by assignments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes she talked to her professors and they were accommodating, giving her extensions for assignments. However it’s still hard for her to get assignments done, sometimes it’s just very hard for her to start, even though the assignments are not hard according to her. She told me she wished there was someone who could get things together for her. That’s had been an issue at home but I used to help her. She is a very smart girl, just not good at managing her time.

Can you both just accept less than perfect grades? That used to be the norm. Now everyone expects A’s all the time. I would tell her not to worry, just do your best.

I don't think you have an experience with a highly intelligent ADHD kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - she needs an easier major or she needs to be taking easier classes or fewer classes. She needs to feel ok about dropping classes if she decides without having to convince anyone else. Twelve credits is still full-time. She likely should be taking fewer credits than she is. She needs to be able to take longer than 4 years to graduate. She needs to feel empowered and know that a zig zag path is ok, because for her, that may be the way through.

No. Taking easier classes is not the right advice for an ADHD kid.

Taking fewer classes is the smart thing to do. Plus practicing time management and completing tasks through another avenue such as having a part time job- and not the kind where she sits around and does nothing. But something like a waitress/server where she is busy and has to manage time and keep many tasks straight

[Anonymous]

This is such BS. If your "adhd" kid can't handle college without handholding, do you really think they'll handle a successful career? Wake up. Your kid is either lazy or needs to be taught basic life skills.

[Anonymous]

How is your DD about breaking up large tasks into smaller, more manageable parts, so she doesn’t get overwhelmed by the big picture? Would that help?

[Anonymous]

Transfer to a block plan college if that is a good fit for your DC.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for starting this thread. We have a similar DC getting ready for college and I’ve been thinking about what support and knowledge would be helpful when he’s on his own. High achieving kid with exec function weakness. I also think in college focused courses in his areas of interest will be helpful.

[Anonymous]

You need to engage the disability services office to get accommodations, which, in our student’s case meant a reduced courseload, coaching, more time on assignments. etc. but you usually have to have a complete neuropsych done in order to engage disability services. Do that the summer before entering college if you don’t already have one. If you have one, your college may require you to update it (usually every three years).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes she talked to her professors and they were accommodating, giving her extensions for assignments. However it’s still hard for her to get assignments done, sometimes it’s just very hard for her to start, even though the assignments are not hard according to her. She told me she wished there was someone who could get things together for her. That’s had been an issue at home but I used to help her. She is a very smart girl, just not good at managing her time.

Totally understand. I feel like I am a secretary for my son, reminding him of what’s on the list all the time. He could get a tippy top score in a hard exam, but also get 0 in an easy project if he missed something. I am so worried. Can you remotely help her in some way? Like sending her important reminders, checking her progress from time to time? This is not helicopter parenting. They need help all their lifetime.

What's your plan for when you die or are unable to manage your son's schedule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all your sharing. I’m going to talk to her on getting an EF coach. I agree she needs to develop essential skills, or try to get a job that comes with an executive assistant.

Omg try to get a job that comes with an executive assistant. That poor executive assistant.

[Anonymous]

She's got to figure this out on her own. The real world isn't going to offer extended deadlines and babysit her at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's got to figure this out on her own. The real world isn't going to offer extended deadlines and babysit her at work.

OP will pay for an executive assistant when her child enters the real world. It will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes she talked to her professors and they were accommodating, giving her extensions for assignments. However it’s still hard for her to get assignments done, sometimes it’s just very hard for her to start, even though the assignments are not hard according to her. She told me she wished there was someone who could get things together for her. That’s had been an issue at home but I used to help her. She is a very smart girl, just not good at managing her time.

Totally understand. I feel like I am a secretary for my son, reminding him of what’s on the list all the time. He could get a tippy top score in a hard exam, but also get 0 in an easy project if he missed something. I am so worried. Can you remotely help her in some way? Like sending her important reminders, checking her progress from time to time? This is not helicopter parenting. They need help all their lifetime.

What's your plan for when you die or are unable to manage your son's schedule?

By that time AI will be able to handle those things that PP did.

[Anonymous]

ADHD kids mature more slowly and need more guidance. EF often doesn't come naturally to them, but they can learn. They often have strengths nonADHD people don't. They can be extremely creative, for example. There is a lot of good advice on this thread but also a lot of ignorant comments from people who have no experience with ADHD. Our kid wouldn't trade their brain, but it comes with huge challenges too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's got to figure this out on her own. The real world isn't going to offer extended deadlines and babysit her at work.

OP will pay for an executive assistant when her child enters the real world. It will be fine.

Op won't pay. Op will call the supervisor of her child's entry level position and demand work provide an executive assistant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ADHD kids mature more slowly and need more guidance. EF often doesn't come naturally to them, but they can learn. They often have strengths nonADHD people don't. They can be extremely creative, for example. There is a lot of good advice on this thread but also a lot of ignorant comments from people who have no experience with ADHD. Our kid wouldn't trade their brain, but it comes with huge challenges too.

that's great, but as a boss I don't care about your extremely creative mind when you are unable to meet deadlines.