Is your kid enjoying college?

[Anonymous]

I have two in college. Ds is doing well in classes, time with friends (no frat), sports and nutrition focus. He just is very consistent and happy with his routine. DD is having a harder time socially, but found a good job and balancing everything well and trying to find herself, trying new activities and seeing what sticks.

[Anonymous]

DS is a senior, and is now enjoying college.

But it took a while! Had a very unhappy Freshman year and was on the verge of dropping out - had not found his social clique, did not like his dorm, not excited by his classes.

But each year has gotten a bit better, and now as a Senior, he is happy in an off-campus apartment, has a nice group of friends, is involved in groups on and off campus, and is very happy with his classes and his academic peers.

So don't panic if you have a Freshman who is still trying to find their way!

[Anonymous]

Yes but also pretty stressed. A very busy, academically and socially, senior who has a tough course load, research, and clubs in which she has leadership roles.
It didn't start this way for freshman parents who are worried about their kids. Rough freshman year emotionally which also meant socially. Through support and her own maturation process it worked out.

[Anonymous]

Yes. DS loves the independence.

They had an issue with their friends/roommates and gf end of sophomore year, but they were able to find a better friend group and roommates the start of junior year. They've had great internships (including this year), straight As, and having fun partying and socializing. They have no financial concerns, unlike many of his friends, not just from his college fund but the money he's made from internships.

It was a rocky start during college admissions time. Lots of rejections. This was his 3rd choice, but I think he ended up where he was meant to be. He's very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice the trend: Most of the "yes" answers are coming from parents of kids in Greek life. I saw the same thing when my own kid came home for Christmas break as a freshman and reconvened with his high school buddies. The fraternity men were dishing story after story about college life and what a great time they were having. The GDIs were still reminiscing about high school and longing for the good old days.

The freshmen who are having a tough time socially it seems are the ones where the Greek system is huge because those schools tend to not be "bar schools" and the only thing to do on the weekend is frat parties. Also very hard for freshmen to get into those parties unless you're a girl and you know someone or you're a boy and already in one (most freshmen boys aren't and at the most, they're in the miserable pledge/hazing stage). So lesson learned, if you want an active social life that are more than just frat parties, don't go to a school where Greek life dominates.

[Anonymous]

I have twins: Boy at a large state school, girl at a small Jesuit school. Both happy in their own ways. No Greek life for either; son may pursue it next year but is leaning toward not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notice the trend: Most of the "yes" answers are coming from parents of kids in Greek life. I saw the same thing when my own kid came home for Christmas break as a freshman and reconvened with his high school buddies. The fraternity men were dishing story after story about college life and what a great time they were having. The GDIs were still reminiscing about high school and longing for the good old days.

The freshmen who are having a tough time socially it seems are the ones where the Greek system is huge because those schools tend to not be "bar schools" and the only thing to do on the weekend is frat parties. Also very hard for freshmen to get into those parties unless you're a girl and you know someone or you're a boy and already in one (most freshmen boys aren't and at the most, they're in the miserable pledge/hazing stage). So lesson learned, if you want an active social life that are more than just frat parties, don't go to a school where Greek life dominates.

Pledgeship isn’t miserable for 99% of guys who go through it. That’s a myth pushed by the anti-Greek crowd on forums like this one and supported by extreme outlier cases that make the news every few years. In reality, it’s the best way to form real bonds with people you’ve only just met. It forces you to let your guard down and show vulnerability - something that doesn’t come naturally to 18-19 year olds. That’s why it’s so much harder to make close friends in college than it was in elementary school. And it's only 8-10 weeks. After that, you’re coasting for the next 3.5 years: a campus god, dating the best-looking women, and plugged into a powerful network for jobs and business opportunities after graduation.

And don’t believe the myth that you can't party, have a social life, and pull as a pledge. You’ll still go to every party. At worst, you might be placed on DD duty, which isn’t all bad. There are worse ways to spend a Saturday night than chauffeuring foyine sorority girls home. It’s also the perfect opportunity to exchange Instas and start sliding into DMs. Don’t miss out on the best college experience of your life because you bought into a few ridiculous horror stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notice the trend: Most of the "yes" answers are coming from parents of kids in Greek life. I saw the same thing when my own kid came home for Christmas break as a freshman and reconvened with his high school buddies. The fraternity men were dishing story after story about college life and what a great time they were having. The GDIs were still reminiscing about high school and longing for the good old days.

The freshmen who are having a tough time socially it seems are the ones where the Greek system is huge because those schools tend to not be "bar schools" and the only thing to do on the weekend is frat parties. Also very hard for freshmen to get into those parties unless you're a girl and you know someone or you're a boy and already in one (most freshmen boys aren't and at the most, they're in the miserable pledge/hazing stage). So lesson learned, if you want an active social life that are more than just frat parties, don't go to a school where Greek life dominates.

Pledgeship isn’t miserable for 99% of guys who go through it. That’s a myth pushed by the anti-Greek crowd on forums like this one and supported by extreme outlier cases that make the news every few years. In reality, it’s the best way to form real bonds with people you’ve only just met. It forces you to let your guard down and show vulnerability - something that doesn’t come naturally to 18-19 year olds. That’s why it’s so much harder to make close friends in college than it was in elementary school. And it's only 8-10 weeks. After that, you’re coasting for the next 3.5 years: a campus god, dating the best-looking women, and plugged into a powerful network for jobs and business opportunities after graduation.

And don’t believe the myth that you can't party, have a social life, and pull as a pledge. You’ll still go to every party. At worst, you might be placed on DD duty, which isn’t all bad. There are worse ways to spend a Saturday night than chauffeuring foyine sorority girls home. It’s also the perfect opportunity to exchange Instas and start sliding into DMs. Don’t miss out on the best college experience of your life because you bought into a few ridiculous horror stories.

Oh boy, DB is back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notice the trend: Most of the "yes" answers are coming from parents of kids in Greek life. I saw the same thing when my own kid came home for Christmas break as a freshman and reconvened with his high school buddies. The fraternity men were dishing story after story about college life and what a great time they were having. The GDIs were still reminiscing about high school and longing for the good old days.

The freshmen who are having a tough time socially it seems are the ones where the Greek system is huge because those schools tend to not be "bar schools" and the only thing to do on the weekend is frat parties. Also very hard for freshmen to get into those parties unless you're a girl and you know someone or you're a boy and already in one (most freshmen boys aren't and at the most, they're in the miserable pledge/hazing stage). So lesson learned, if you want an active social life that are more than just frat parties, don't go to a school where Greek life dominates.

Pledgeship isn’t miserable for 99% of guys who go through it. That’s a myth pushed by the anti-Greek crowd on forums like this one and supported by extreme outlier cases that make the news every few years. In reality, it’s the best way to form real bonds with people you’ve only just met. It forces you to let your guard down and show vulnerability - something that doesn’t come naturally to 18-19 year olds. That’s why it’s so much harder to make close friends in college than it was in elementary school. And it's only 8-10 weeks. After that, you’re coasting for the next 3.5 years: a campus god, dating the best-looking women, and plugged into a powerful network for jobs and business opportunities after graduation.

And don’t believe the myth that you can't party, have a social life, and pull as a pledge. You’ll still go to every party. At worst, you might be placed on DD duty, which isn’t all bad. There are worse ways to spend a Saturday night than chauffeuring foyine sorority girls home. It’s also the perfect opportunity to exchange Instas and start sliding into DMs. Don’t miss out on the best college experience of your life because you bought into a few ridiculous horror stories.

Oh boy, DB is back.

Magas on the other forums and.....greeks on this one

[Anonymous]

DS goes to a school that isn't very Greek. It sort of has a bar scene. He is a freshman and doesn't have a fake id. But he is having fun.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he doesn't feel the need to party all of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mixed bag. Academics are great-- breezing through classes thanks to IB in HS. But socially it could be better.

IB really does prepare them. My DD said everyone looks at her funny when she says her workload has been way easier than high school. Taking 18 credits, and still feels like she’s more on top of things and has more of a social life.

But she’s also not a partier, more of a low-key socializer, so she doesn’t feel the need to be out drinking every night. (As far as we know, anyway! Guess the grades will tell the real story.)

[Anonymous]

Pp here of a happy sophomore. DS is at a school where Greek life is big, but he thinks the whole process is stupid and so he’s never been interested. A lot of of his friends who have considered rushing either got fed up with it or just kind of put up with it and got through it just to experience Greek life.

That said, he still has lots of friends, goes to football games, play poker a lot, and works out a ton. Also plays a club sport.

I don’t think you have to have a Greek experience at a heavy Greek school, but you will have to get involved in other ways.

I also think freshman year is always the worst.

I went to UVA, and even though I looked back on my experience fondly enough now, it wasn’t really a great fit for me and I really struggled freshman year. It took until sophomore year until I met more good friends, and then by senior year, I had found a groove and I’m still close with a lot of those folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here of a happy sophomore. DS is at a school where Greek life is big, but he thinks the whole process is stupid and so he’s never been interested. A lot of of his friends who have considered rushing either got fed up with it or just kind of put up with it and got through it just to experience Greek life.

That said, he still has lots of friends, goes to football games, play poker a lot, and works out a ton. Also plays a club sport.

I don’t think you have to have a Greek experience at a heavy Greek school, but you will have to get involved in other ways.

I also think freshman year is always the worst.

I went to UVA, and even though I looked back on my experience fondly enough now, it wasn’t really a great fit for me and I really struggled freshman year. It took until sophomore year until I met more good friends, and then by senior year, I had found a groove and I’m still close with a lot of those folks.

How does he do with the ladies on campus?

[Anonymous]

YES! Freshman who stayed in state. Loves roommate, classes (great grades so far), and campus life. Has met many people from various cultures despite staying local. Feel like focusing on fit was a good call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice the trend: Most of the "yes" answers are coming from parents of kids in Greek life. I saw the same thing when my own kid came home for Christmas break as a freshman and reconvened with his high school buddies. The fraternity men were dishing story after story about college life and what a great time they were having. The GDIs were still reminiscing about high school and longing for the good old days.

Same.

DD has mostly enjoyed greek life. It is a lot of $$ for us though.

On the plus side she has had an instant friend-group thanks to pledging. She was a little nervous about hazing (wasn’t too bad) the worst being what she had to do during the “robing ceremony.” But that as over quick and it’s been fine overall.