When someone tells you they are not available ever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get together with some school moms about once every 3-4 months. I am always the one to arrange and reach out. One mom always says she’s never avail midweek, never. She then says she could do a Saturday breakfast.
That doesn’t work for me so I just say ok and move on. I still invite her the next time buf I know she’s not coming.
I solo parent at night too but make it work with a sitter, or now DD is older a carpool if she has her sport the night we picked.
It’s about what your prioritize.

+1

OP, not everyone shares your priorities. Insisting someone does makes you a bad friend. Cornering them into providing a date makes you demanding. You clearly don’t know this person very well. Either that or it is a bad friendship. Move on.

[Anonymous]

My friend’s parent is dying and she also owns a business. She’s not telling a lot of people about her parent.
So, maybe it’s her. She knows she’s about to have a rough end of the year.

Probably not *her* but could this person have private struggles + an already busy life to face?

[Anonymous]

There aren’t that many weekends left to 2025 especially considering 3 holidays coming up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There aren’t that many weekends left to 2025 especially considering 3 holidays coming up.

4. Halloween has become a big holiday thanks to capitalism. Our kids each have multiple Halloween events that need chauffeurs and costumes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There aren’t that many weekends left to 2025 especially considering 3 holidays coming up.

4. Halloween has become a big holiday thanks to capitalism. Our kids each have multiple Halloween events that need chauffeurs and costumes.

Wait, I thought Halloween was one of the three? What’s the 4th?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There aren’t that many weekends left to 2025 especially considering 3 holidays coming up.

4. Halloween has become a big holiday thanks to capitalism. Our kids each have multiple Halloween events that need chauffeurs and costumes.

Wait, I thought Halloween was one of the three? What’s the 4th?

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas/Hanukkah, New Years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am often that person. It means what it means. My kids are both in intense sports; I work 60hrs/week. I am a single parent. Our time is FULLY booked. If I do have free time, I want to zone out solo.

Why are you doing that? Spend quality time with your kids. You’ll wish you had when they’re gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am often that person. It means what it means. My kids are both in intense sports; I work 60hrs/week. I am a single parent. Our time is FULLY booked. If I do have free time, I want to zone out solo.

Why are you doing that? Spend quality time with your kids. You’ll wish you had when they’re gone.

She probably does, which is probably why she doesn’t have time for a random mom friend groups. You can nitpick her choices all you want, but you won’t change them. You will definitely never nitpick someone into spending time with and liking your friend group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

Option 1: She doesn’t want to hang out with you.

Option 2: She has stuff going on that she doesn’t want to discuss with you. Possibly one of her kids has special needs that she is busy with.

Either way, not really your friend.

[Anonymous]

She’s tryin to ghost and slow fade ya’
Duh ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

Option 1: She doesn’t want to hang out with you.

Option 2: She has stuff going on that she doesn’t want to discuss with you. Possibly one of her kids has special needs that she is busy with.

Either way, not really your friend.

Exactly. Whether it’s by choice or circumstance there’s nothing wrong with OP simply moving on making the effort with people who want to and are able to spend time together. No hard feelings toward the other person but also no need to keep throwing out multiple variants when the answer is always no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a total blow off, right?

Friends are trying to get together and one friend basically said she is never available. Can’t offer one date for the rest of 2025. She has 3 kids as do I. We all have 2-3 kids.

Option 1: She doesn’t want to hang out with you.

Option 2: She has stuff going on that she doesn’t want to discuss with you. Possibly one of her kids has special needs that she is busy with.

Either way, not really your friend.

Option 2 does not make her not your friend. People go through stuff they don’t want to share outside their own families. Give her grace and time. Reach out again in spring or summer.

[Anonymous]

I lost touch with a very social group of women I couldn't make mid-week hangouts about 35 minutes from my house. I work full-time with a 45 min-1hr commute, have two young kids in activities (one of whom is AuHD), we have no family help, and my husband also has a busy job.

I felt bad, and beat myself up about it at the time, and I am sure they think I am a flake, and have a great time gossiping about it because that is how that group is, but it just is what it is. (A reason it is no great loss!)

I am doing my best in a busy season of life and in the heirarchy of things I spend my time on, social stuff for me is pretty low. The friends I do have are people who can understand that, and honestly, people who are easy to hang out with because they live down the street, have similar aged kids, and often similar lives so they understand time is short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am often that person. It means what it means. My kids are both in intense sports; I work 60hrs/week. I am a single parent. Our time is FULLY booked. If I do have free time, I want to zone out solo.

So you accept that you won’t have friends.

Funny take. She may have other friends, through sports or work or other things that contribute to her fully booked schedule.

I am literally responding to someone who says she does not meet friends when she has free time. So no.

[Anonymous]

Only in the DMV is someone wanting to spend time with you seen as an insult. You are really such socially awkward losers.