My high stats kid running out of steam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys need to help your kids out! Fall sports plus school plus 10+ early apps? Too much for 17 yo.

We helped. Helping isn’t a “handout”. Come on.
Both are thriving at T20.

Helped how, specifically? I’m happy to be a proofreader and offer suggestions m, but that’s the extent of it. Of course, my kid isn’t doing 10+ early apps. Maybe instead of helping them with all those apps, you should steer them towards a more manageable load in the first place.

I’m basically the secretary managing a spreadsheet of what needs doing, what pieces are needed for each app, and sending scores from college board, etc.

With my first kid I assumed the kid did all that and then I realized all the other parents (of kids way more organized than mine) were carrying the administrative load. So this time around I’m just doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys need to help your kids out! Fall sports plus school plus 10+ early apps? Too much for 17 yo.

We helped. Helping isn’t a “handout”. Come on.
Both are thriving at T20.

Helped how, specifically? I’m happy to be a proofreader and offer suggestions m, but that’s the extent of it. Of course, my kid isn’t doing 10+ early apps. Maybe instead of helping them with all those apps, you should steer them towards a more manageable load in the first place.

Lots of great suggestions in this thread, including the Google research. Also look here.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1235389.page

very helpful. thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is playing a fall sport, a club sport, is in 3 ap classes and volunteers on weekends, and is applying to a couple special programs with unique requirements in addition to the reach/target/ safety thing. She started the essays, but I’m finishing them for her to proofread. I’m handling the common app profile, fafsa, css, college board, and everything else that goes along with this process. The whole thing is very bureaucratic and it’s unrealistic to ask a hs senior to know how to navigate it.

Super lame.

Agreed. You’re finishing the essays? And doing the Common App? What the…

Are you new to this world?

DP. Nope, neither of us are. Not ok at all to write their essays for them. If your kids can’t do that part, they’re either not cut out for the schools they’re applying to or they’re not cut out for the current schedule they have.

Or applying to colleges is a ridiculous process that is darn near a full time job.

But you all are making it worse by doing the work for them! The process could be much more reasonable if we allowed kids to demonstrate what a realistic product from a busy 17 year old looks like.

And if it’s really like full time job, there are too many schools on your kid’s list. It’s ok for them to learn how to navigate hard deadlines. To stay up super late a few nights, to get up earlier on weekends, to learn why coffee was invented. And yes, they might still get rejected after doing that. And that’s ok, too! Life lessons, people. Let your kid learn them.

[Anonymous]

OP, just to say you're not alone. I know an Ivy grad who had to be grounded to finish their admission essay

[Anonymous]

About a week before ED and EA deadline last year, DS took a day off school (light schedule day) and I took a day off work, we got a study room at the library and just moved every app from 70% done to submitted. He would be finishing draft of essay 1, I’d be proofing and editing essay 2. We did the common app together (kids don’t know what year you graduated from college) in short order. The activities list was put to bed after weeks of tinkering. It was a full day - with a break for lunch out - but they were all done (including some RDs) and submitted by 4pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is playing a fall sport, a club sport, is in 3 ap classes and volunteers on weekends, and is applying to a couple special programs with unique requirements in addition to the reach/target/ safety thing. She started the essays, but I’m finishing them for her to proofread. I’m handling the common app profile, fafsa, css, college board, and everything else that goes along with this process. The whole thing is very bureaucratic and it’s unrealistic to ask a hs senior to know how to navigate it.

Super lame.

Agreed. You’re finishing the essays? And doing the Common App? What the…

That’s fine to judge. I think paying for essay or college consultants is lame. I suspect what I’m doing is being considered by many. Just thought I’d throw it out there so those that are overwhelmed with the process know it’s ok to help your kid. Especially those that are in multiple sports with multiple ap classes, and packed weekends staring at 11/1 deadlines. When do you expect your kid to work in it? Midnight to 2 am?

Sure, why not midnight to 2 am? If need be. I keep telling my kid, this is not forever. Just get through this.

Again, if your kid can’t handle this, they have taken on too much, or they aren’t as high-performing as you want them to be. All of these things were choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD woke me up sobbing during the night last night. Too much stress even though half her applications are in. She had been a straight A student until this quarter where she is taking ridiculously hard classes. It will help when fall sports are over too. I hate that she is wishing away her senior year, but she is.

We must be living parallel lives except I'm normally about to go to bed when the sobbing meltdowns occur and things that are due need to be done. I'm out of steam too and I am only doing word count and grammar type editing. Found a friend to do the big essay review earlier so that DD would actually listen to feedback and stay rational. A couple of these final supplemental essays have ended up being words that meet the word count and going from point A to point B, not particularly noteworthy and creative but it is DDs experience/thoughts in 250 words or less. DD has prioritized college apps over school but sports take time which all combine and take a big emotional, mental and physical toll as grades, health, performance dip/decline.

Hang in there as it is near the end. I keep telling DD that there are tons of schools out there and ultimately she can be successful but will have to come from her regardless of where she goes.

For those in the final stretch, HELP go over each individual school's checklist of required forms, scores, dates etc. Depending on how many schools are on the list or being added/subtracted at the last minute, your kid may miss something critical and basic because they are so focused on the essay part they miss something like an SAT that needed to be formally sent vs self-reported or an extra financial/merit award interest form that may needed that is specific for that school. That was our discovery just last night as I was going over CSS vs other award form requirements while DD was at sports and saw a school needed SATs from College Board in the next 7 days and DD thought it was just a self-report... If you are helping paying the application fee, don't miss something simple on the admin side in the rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:About a week before ED and EA deadline last year, DS took a day off school (light schedule day) and I took a day off work, we got a study room at the library and just moved every app from 70% done to submitted. He would be finishing draft of essay 1, I’d be proofing and editing essay 2. We did the common app together (kids don’t know what year you graduated from college) in short order. The activities list was put to bed after weeks of tinkering. It was a full day - with a break for lunch out - but they were all done (including some RDs) and submitted by 4pm.

Great system.
We did this, but often on weekends. And the kid would send me essays that I'd then edit, and then DC would accept and move to "done".
This kind of help is expected by AO if parents have advanced degrees. Honestly, if there are mistakes or typos or formatting problems, and you are super educated, it's almost a black mark against your kid - bc every other kid from your education level/SES will have reviewed/clean well-constructed apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is playing a fall sport, a club sport, is in 3 ap classes and volunteers on weekends, and is applying to a couple special programs with unique requirements in addition to the reach/target/ safety thing. She started the essays, but I’m finishing them for her to proofread. I’m handling the common app profile, fafsa, css, college board, and everything else that goes along with this process. The whole thing is very bureaucratic and it’s unrealistic to ask a hs senior to know how to navigate it.

Super lame.

Agreed. You’re finishing the essays? And doing the Common App? What the…

That’s fine to judge. I think paying for essay or college consultants is lame. I suspect what I’m doing is being considered by many. Just thought I’d throw it out there so those that are overwhelmed with the process know it’s ok to help your kid. Especially those that are in multiple sports with multiple ap classes, and packed weekends staring at 11/1 deadlines. When do you expect your kid to work in it? Midnight to 2 am?

Sure, why not midnight to 2 am? If need be. I keep telling my kid, this is not forever. Just get through this.

Again, if your kid can’t handle this, they have taken on too much, or they aren’t as high-performing as you want them to be. All of these things were choices.

Go away. Your kids are done with this. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is playing a fall sport, a club sport, is in 3 ap classes and volunteers on weekends, and is applying to a couple special programs with unique requirements in addition to the reach/target/ safety thing. She started the essays, but I’m finishing them for her to proofread. I’m handling the common app profile, fafsa, css, college board, and everything else that goes along with this process. The whole thing is very bureaucratic and it’s unrealistic to ask a hs senior to know how to navigate it.

Super lame.

Agreed. You’re finishing the essays? And doing the Common App? What the…

Are you new to this world?

DP. Nope, neither of us are. Not ok at all to write their essays for them. If your kids can’t do that part, they’re either not cut out for the schools they’re applying to or they’re not cut out for the current schedule they have.

Or applying to colleges is a ridiculous process that is darn near a full time job.

It is. And if your kid has a full plate of ECs, sports and advanced classes, something has to give.

Or else, many parents hire the $$$$ counselors who do everything for the kid (including applying directly via the Common App)..... You could go that route?
or
Novel idea - help your own offspring off - it's free. It's your last time. Your kid is still a minor. You won't have any regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's tough. Help with the research....

so, for Stanford (as an example), I helped with a Google Doc of classes, cool profs, ECs, interesting articles from the paper, and events I saw.

links to everything in the Google Doc to shortcut the process. DC added more as well, but good starting point.

Congrats on getting into Stanford. I mean your kid getting in. Of course they won't.

The high stats kids I know did their essays over the summer and only fine tuned or added a few schools in the fall. So yeah, if they are scrambling they don't have great time management and mommy should not be saving them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is playing a fall sport, a club sport, is in 3 ap classes and volunteers on weekends, and is applying to a couple special programs with unique requirements in addition to the reach/target/ safety thing. She started the essays, but I’m finishing them for her to proofread. I’m handling the common app profile, fafsa, css, college board, and everything else that goes along with this process. The whole thing is very bureaucratic and it’s unrealistic to ask a hs senior to know how to navigate it.

Super lame.

Agreed. You’re finishing the essays? And doing the Common App? What the…

That’s fine to judge. I think paying for essay or college consultants is lame. I suspect what I’m doing is being considered by many. Just thought I’d throw it out there so those that are overwhelmed with the process know it’s ok to help your kid. Especially those that are in multiple sports with multiple ap classes, and packed weekends staring at 11/1 deadlines. When do you expect your kid to work in it? Midnight to 2 am?

Sure, why not midnight to 2 am? If need be. I keep telling my kid, this is not forever. Just get through this.

Again, if your kid can’t handle this, they have taken on too much, or they aren’t as high-performing as you want them to be. All of these things were choices.

Go away. Your kids are done with this. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?????

What are you talking about? My kid is a senior. She’s in the middle of doing her apps now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is playing a fall sport, a club sport, is in 3 ap classes and volunteers on weekends, and is applying to a couple special programs with unique requirements in addition to the reach/target/ safety thing. She started the essays, but I’m finishing them for her to proofread. I’m handling the common app profile, fafsa, css, college board, and everything else that goes along with this process. The whole thing is very bureaucratic and it’s unrealistic to ask a hs senior to know how to navigate it.

Super lame.

Agreed. You’re finishing the essays? And doing the Common App? What the…

Are you new to this world?

DP. Nope, neither of us are. Not ok at all to write their essays for them. If your kids can’t do that part, they’re either not cut out for the schools they’re applying to or they’re not cut out for the current schedule they have.

Or applying to colleges is a ridiculous process that is darn near a full time job.

It is. And if your kid has a full plate of ECs, sports and advanced classes, something has to give.

Or else, many parents hire the $$$$ counselors who do everything for the kid (including applying directly via the Common App)..... You could go that route?
or
Novel idea - help your own offspring off - it's free. It's your last time. Your kid is still a minor. You won't have any regrets.

There’s a huge difference between helping your kid out and writing their essays for them.

[Anonymous]

we got a study room at the library ...

That entire post is the best thing I've heard

[Anonymous]

This is a very important once-in-a-lifetime experience. It’s exactly NOT the time to allow the kid to fizzle out. Give him whatever incentives/encouragement/kicks in ass that will work to keep him focused & productive.