Do I tell his GF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP please come back with an update.

So, basically I ended up telling a white lie: that I came onto him, he made it clear he wasn't interested, and that he was very much into her.

Which aren't exactly lies, because a few weeks into dating it became pretty clear he was still involved with her and wasn't interested in pursuing anything serious with me.

Then I blocked her number.

He has not reached out to me, but if he does, I am going to tell him that I covered for him in hopes he will leave me alone. I do worry about his rage/violence issues so I don't want to do anything that could trigger it.

At first I felt bad, but if she chooses to stay with him knowing he's got major issues (and I 100% know that she knows about it), that's on her. Him cheating is the least of her troubles with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please come back with an update.

So, basically I ended up telling a white lie: that I came onto him, he made it clear he wasn't interested, and that he was very much into her.

Which aren't exactly lies, because a few weeks into dating it became pretty clear he was still involved with her and wasn't interested in pursuing anything serious with me.

Then I blocked her number.

He has not reached out to me, but if he does, I am going to tell him that I covered for him in hopes he will leave me alone. I do worry about his rage/violence issues so I don't want to do anything that could trigger it.

At first I felt bad, but if she chooses to stay with him knowing he's got major issues (and I 100% know that she knows about it), that's on her. Him cheating is the least of her troubles with him.

After you slept together several times, you told her that her cheater boyfriend was faithful? That's more than a white lie. It would've been better to not reply.

[Anonymous]

If she has dated him 6 years then she already knows how he is. Some women never leave regardless of what they find out. Block her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please come back with an update.

So, basically I ended up telling a white lie: that I came onto him, he made it clear he wasn't interested, and that he was very much into her.

Which aren't exactly lies, because a few weeks into dating it became pretty clear he was still involved with her and wasn't interested in pursuing anything serious with me.

Then I blocked her number.

He has not reached out to me, but if he does, I am going to tell him that I covered for him in hopes he will leave me alone. I do worry about his rage/violence issues so I don't want to do anything that could trigger it.

At first I felt bad, but if she chooses to stay with him knowing he's got major issues (and I 100% know that she knows about it), that's on her. Him cheating is the least of her troubles with him.

After you slept together several times, you told her that her cheater boyfriend was faithful? That's more than a white lie. It would've been better to not reply.

Agree. You should have said the truth or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please come back with an update.

So, basically I ended up telling a white lie: that I came onto him, he made it clear he wasn't interested, and that he was very much into her.

Which aren't exactly lies, because a few weeks into dating it became pretty clear he was still involved with her and wasn't interested in pursuing anything serious with me.

Then I blocked her number.

He has not reached out to me, but if he does, I am going to tell him that I covered for him in hopes he will leave me alone. I do worry about his rage/violence issues so I don't want to do anything that could trigger it.

At first I felt bad, but if she chooses to stay with him knowing he's got major issues (and I 100% know that she knows about it), that's on her. Him cheating is the least of her troubles with him.

After you slept together several times, you told her that her cheater boyfriend was faithful? That's more than a white lie. It would've been better to not reply.

Agree. You should have said the truth or nothing.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as someone who was the GF who reached out to the woman my ex was cheating with, I am forever grateful for her honest, kind reply. We didn’t stay in touch and there was no drama. But I will forever appreciate the clarity she gave me as my ex was a lying @sshole.

Why didn't you call her? A text could be from anyone.

Because if I called and caught her off guard she would be more reactive, understandably self-protective, and less likely to be truthful. She also didn’t owe me anything and I figured she’d be more inclined to reach out and be honest if I gave her some respectful distance and a minute to process the situation. So that’s what I did. I texted an honest, non-emotional description of what was going on: that ex and I had been together 5 years, had bought a home together, and were engaged. That I had found her texts and wasn’t sure what she knew, but felt she deserved the chance to understand what she was involved in. That he was having unprotected sex with me, and I assumed with her. Rather than taking the “stay away from my man you whore” approach, I took the “we’re being scammed by the same guy” route. And let me tell you: sister spilled all the tea. Gave me every piece of info I needed and that man was out of my life for good. And for the “well you shouldn’t need that” posters, you do you. The closure I got from reaching out to her was completely cathartic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please come back with an update.

So, basically I ended up telling a white lie: that I came onto him, he made it clear he wasn't interested, and that he was very much into her.

Which aren't exactly lies, because a few weeks into dating it became pretty clear he was still involved with her and wasn't interested in pursuing anything serious with me.

Then I blocked her number.

He has not reached out to me, but if he does, I am going to tell him that I covered for him in hopes he will leave me alone. I do worry about his rage/violence issues so I don't want to do anything that could trigger it.

At first I felt bad, but if she chooses to stay with him knowing he's got major issues (and I 100% know that she knows about it), that's on her. Him cheating is the least of her troubles with him.

So if he wasn't interested, why did he have your number in his phone? Doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

The "solution" OP devised is idiotic.

[Anonymous]

Yikes! 😱
This guy sounds like a complete tool!!

Yes, I would definitely not do or say anything that may incense this guy….

Do not talk to his girlfriend any more - - most definitely block her phone no.# and do not ever look back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please come back with an update.

So, basically I ended up telling a white lie: that I came onto him, he made it clear he wasn't interested, and that he was very much into her.

Which aren't exactly lies, because a few weeks into dating it became pretty clear he was still involved with her and wasn't interested in pursuing anything serious with me.

Then I blocked her number.

He has not reached out to me, but if he does, I am going to tell him that I covered for him in hopes he will leave me alone. I do worry about his rage/violence issues so I don't want to do anything that could trigger it.

At first I felt bad, but if she chooses to stay with him knowing he's got major issues (and I 100% know that she knows about it), that's on her. Him cheating is the least of her troubles with him.

Now he's going to fall in love with you. "Oh she covered for me! She's the one!" and he will start stalking you, which will enrage the jealous woman, and she will want revenge on you and get you out of the picture for good, to get her man back from you.

[Anonymous]

Liar OP deserves this guy. His gf doesn't

[Anonymous]

Stay safe and stay out of his drama. He sounds like a bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think l would tell her you dated him for 6 weeks x months ago. You were the one who broke it off. You didn’t know he had a girlfriend.

All true facts. Why not help her with information?

Because it could get her killed.